summer is latin for high humidity
summer's coming and i'd like a review.
i've been having "real-time dreams." these usually happen to me when i wake up from a loud noise or the blanket not being on me anymore, and i look at the clock and it's only a half hour before my stupid alarm is going to go off. i hate this stretch of time. i'll fall back asleep and usually drop right into rem sleep. i whip out a fairly quick and very real dream and wake up about 7 minutes later. looking at the clock and feeling slightly disoriented because i've just had a very real dream that in my head only lasted about 7 minutes. you know how most dreams are like hours of time or at least a decent chunk? when i have my mini-dreams in the mornings, they only last in my head for as long as i'm asleep. i'll run through 3 or 4 of these minirealtimedreams on any morning where i'm awakened about a 0.5 hour before i want to. it's not that i don't like them or do like them. the realness and brevity of them are the intriguing parts that i want to explore.
being a hippie has nothing to do with tye-dye, marijuana, hallucinogens, lack of showering, or owing a dead album.
it's a choice to not to buy into the consumerist materialism of american pop culture.
it's a choice to live with the idea that relationships and real happiness are what we should strive for in our life.
it's a choice to be open-minded and realizing that others will have opinions, but you have the opportunity to both be teacher and student to them.
if that's what you do with your life, face up--you're a hippie.
God damn hippies.
4.28.2003
i'm the scatman
ski bi di bi di do bap do bap
do ba do bap
i did something today which is taboo. or at least taboo in public. i scratched my ass.
and it was glorious. i was getting ready to take a shower and i was standing there admiring my beautiful body in the mirror when i felt a bit of an itch. so i scratched. and the more i scratched, the more it itched. so i kept scratching. and i mean the whole of the buttocks. it felt so good. some may find the ass scratching unappealing, and i'll agree that in public it's not that flattering. but i tell you the sheer satisfaction i felt was well worth any ostracization i will recieve. it may have been the most satisfying itch i have ever relieved. my reasoning for spending some quality time with my buttocks was:
1. i'm alone
2. i have an adequate supply of cleaning supplies in the shower
3. my butt itched.
the hi temperature was 76 F today. the quad got up to 85. somehow, the attic of a 90 year old house doesn't have good ventilation. this i don't understand. what i do understand is that there will be days of 90F and 80% humidity here in worcester county this summer, and that means 100+ in the quad. this means i will be in the basement for a good chunk of the summer reveling in the utterly amazing fact that cool air sinks. and it sinks right into our basement that has a cable hookup and plenty of space for a tv and a couple couches. sa-weet.
ski bi di bi di do bap do bap
do ba do bap
i did something today which is taboo. or at least taboo in public. i scratched my ass.
and it was glorious. i was getting ready to take a shower and i was standing there admiring my beautiful body in the mirror when i felt a bit of an itch. so i scratched. and the more i scratched, the more it itched. so i kept scratching. and i mean the whole of the buttocks. it felt so good. some may find the ass scratching unappealing, and i'll agree that in public it's not that flattering. but i tell you the sheer satisfaction i felt was well worth any ostracization i will recieve. it may have been the most satisfying itch i have ever relieved. my reasoning for spending some quality time with my buttocks was:
1. i'm alone
2. i have an adequate supply of cleaning supplies in the shower
3. my butt itched.
the hi temperature was 76 F today. the quad got up to 85. somehow, the attic of a 90 year old house doesn't have good ventilation. this i don't understand. what i do understand is that there will be days of 90F and 80% humidity here in worcester county this summer, and that means 100+ in the quad. this means i will be in the basement for a good chunk of the summer reveling in the utterly amazing fact that cool air sinks. and it sinks right into our basement that has a cable hookup and plenty of space for a tv and a couple couches. sa-weet.
4.25.2003
dorksayswhat
you know, the very fact that you oppose this makes me think i'm on to something.
wanted: a life that had some sort of meaning. must have: ambition, drive, a healthy diet, a postivie attitude. not needed: selfishness and assholeness.
for sale: a lazy personality, a potential wasting attitude, and an out-of-shape physique. priced to move. one american dollar or b.o.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH
you know, the very fact that you oppose this makes me think i'm on to something.
wanted: a life that had some sort of meaning. must have: ambition, drive, a healthy diet, a postivie attitude. not needed: selfishness and assholeness.
for sale: a lazy personality, a potential wasting attitude, and an out-of-shape physique. priced to move. one american dollar or b.o.
AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH
4.24.2003
and you're innocent because?
this makes me think that the homeland security department is redundant.
living in new england, namely the state that thinks it is the shiznit of all shiznit--verm, whoops--massachusetts, i get a lot of flak for commenting on how good a team the new york yankees are. no matter how you feel about the economic situation of baseball, no matter how much you hate the pretty boys on the team, no matter how much you wish your team would plunk down $675,787,500,000 for the 8th starter on your roster, no matter how much of a red sox fan you are, you have to admit that the yankees are a pretty darn good team.
how about their starters going 16-0 so far this season? or how they outhomer their opponents 43-5? or that the yankee home run total equals detroits run total? (through april 23) or that as of this morning they are on pace to win 138 games?
for all they are hated, steinbrenner and co. make sure to get the highest quality players so they can be cream of the crop every year. don't bitch about them taking advantage of how the game is set up, bitch about how your team doesn't even try to do the same...
i never worried about iraq being a threat to the united states. i worry about north korea.
this makes me think that the homeland security department is redundant.
living in new england, namely the state that thinks it is the shiznit of all shiznit--verm, whoops--massachusetts, i get a lot of flak for commenting on how good a team the new york yankees are. no matter how you feel about the economic situation of baseball, no matter how much you hate the pretty boys on the team, no matter how much you wish your team would plunk down $675,787,500,000 for the 8th starter on your roster, no matter how much of a red sox fan you are, you have to admit that the yankees are a pretty darn good team.
how about their starters going 16-0 so far this season? or how they outhomer their opponents 43-5? or that the yankee home run total equals detroits run total? (through april 23) or that as of this morning they are on pace to win 138 games?
for all they are hated, steinbrenner and co. make sure to get the highest quality players so they can be cream of the crop every year. don't bitch about them taking advantage of how the game is set up, bitch about how your team doesn't even try to do the same...
i never worried about iraq being a threat to the united states. i worry about north korea.
4.23.2003
penguins worship me
why fox news is the greatest.
i just may move to alabama because of this.
i just read Way of the Peaceful Warrior upon a recommendation by steve. i now recommend this book to you. bit of a hippish tilt to it--i was even leary of a few of points in it. but overall, i enjoyed the book and it raises many good points including my lack of a teacher.
i was thinking about the people that are of a like-minded spiritual journey with me, and how we don't have anyone that has done this before poking and proding us along--especially when we beging to falter. steve said it was ok because we had all of us "and the drugs." while that's all well and good, i still think that it would be easier for me to follow the path if i had a mentor. someone that has been here before and can offer words of encouragement--and/or ridicule, depending on what i need. right now, i'm just forging my own path. i'm aware of there being an end to the woods. i just don't know where the meadow is. or if i want to find it yet...
why fox news is the greatest.
i just may move to alabama because of this.
i just read Way of the Peaceful Warrior upon a recommendation by steve. i now recommend this book to you. bit of a hippish tilt to it--i was even leary of a few of points in it. but overall, i enjoyed the book and it raises many good points including my lack of a teacher.
i was thinking about the people that are of a like-minded spiritual journey with me, and how we don't have anyone that has done this before poking and proding us along--especially when we beging to falter. steve said it was ok because we had all of us "and the drugs." while that's all well and good, i still think that it would be easier for me to follow the path if i had a mentor. someone that has been here before and can offer words of encouragement--and/or ridicule, depending on what i need. right now, i'm just forging my own path. i'm aware of there being an end to the woods. i just don't know where the meadow is. or if i want to find it yet...
4.22.2003
life, in a two-part saga
from my idealist, hippie, commie self-image:
i exist.
blah, blah, blah. some esoteric bullshit about how i've had an experience, an insight, an epipha--blah, blah, blah.
well, that's all life is--experience. and the reason i share is because others have shared with me. pay it forward. if i can help someone--anyone--make a leap of logic (faith) towards their ideal of enlightenment than i have done some good in this world.
i exist.
and beyond what you think. beyond a mind/body dualism. beyond western science and eastern mysticism. beyond simple terran biology.
i exist.
i have a soul. the only point left to ponder: am i worth it?
from my realist, anti-authority, lazy real-image:
i am an asshole.
in more than one way. i can be the jovial sarcastic "hey-ho, jolly good one chap" asshole. but i am also the "put you down cuz i have problems with my own self-esteem issues" kind of asshole. and that's not good for business. that's not good for anybody.
i have this unerring ability to be a dick. i get this utterly condescending tone, i make belittling remarks, and i don't hold back anything. i do this--making people feel inferior--for multiple reasons.
1. you are slower than me. not really fair, but if you can't make the same dizzying mental leaps as i, i hate you.
2. you are faster than me. not really fair, but if you make dizzying mental leaps better than i, i hate you.
3. you disagree with me. completely fair, because i am always right.
there has been a nagging thought in the back of my mind for probably about a year now, and it's finally coming to the forefront in the last couple months or so. i don't think people really like assholes.
this may come as a shock to you--it sure did me. now it's a lot harder trying to stop being an ass than it was to be an ass. taking into account others feelings, view points, blah, blah, blah. i can do this when i actually think about it. when it's a conscious effort. but when i'm shooting from the hip, i'm firing all six chambers of dick-bullets. 100% asshole steel getting pumped at whatever target happened to make an attack at my intelligence or philosophy or simply didn't understand my point.
from the conglomerate of the two (and a bit o' pop cult):
there's a passage I got memorized. ezekiel 25:17. "the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. and i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. and you will know i am the Lord when i lay my vengeance upon you." i been sayin' that shit for years. and if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. i never really questioned what it meant. i thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker 'fore you popped a cap in his ass. but i saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. wow I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. and i'm the righteous man. and mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. or is could by you're the righteous man and i'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. i'd like that. but that shit ain't the truth. the truth is you're the weak. and i'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.
from my idealist, hippie, commie self-image:
i exist.
blah, blah, blah. some esoteric bullshit about how i've had an experience, an insight, an epipha--blah, blah, blah.
well, that's all life is--experience. and the reason i share is because others have shared with me. pay it forward. if i can help someone--anyone--make a leap of logic (faith) towards their ideal of enlightenment than i have done some good in this world.
i exist.
and beyond what you think. beyond a mind/body dualism. beyond western science and eastern mysticism. beyond simple terran biology.
i exist.
i have a soul. the only point left to ponder: am i worth it?
from my realist, anti-authority, lazy real-image:
i am an asshole.
in more than one way. i can be the jovial sarcastic "hey-ho, jolly good one chap" asshole. but i am also the "put you down cuz i have problems with my own self-esteem issues" kind of asshole. and that's not good for business. that's not good for anybody.
i have this unerring ability to be a dick. i get this utterly condescending tone, i make belittling remarks, and i don't hold back anything. i do this--making people feel inferior--for multiple reasons.
1. you are slower than me. not really fair, but if you can't make the same dizzying mental leaps as i, i hate you.
2. you are faster than me. not really fair, but if you make dizzying mental leaps better than i, i hate you.
3. you disagree with me. completely fair, because i am always right.
there has been a nagging thought in the back of my mind for probably about a year now, and it's finally coming to the forefront in the last couple months or so. i don't think people really like assholes.
this may come as a shock to you--it sure did me. now it's a lot harder trying to stop being an ass than it was to be an ass. taking into account others feelings, view points, blah, blah, blah. i can do this when i actually think about it. when it's a conscious effort. but when i'm shooting from the hip, i'm firing all six chambers of dick-bullets. 100% asshole steel getting pumped at whatever target happened to make an attack at my intelligence or philosophy or simply didn't understand my point.
from the conglomerate of the two (and a bit o' pop cult):
there's a passage I got memorized. ezekiel 25:17. "the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. and i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. and you will know i am the Lord when i lay my vengeance upon you." i been sayin' that shit for years. and if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. i never really questioned what it meant. i thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker 'fore you popped a cap in his ass. but i saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. wow I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. and i'm the righteous man. and mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. or is could by you're the righteous man and i'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. i'd like that. but that shit ain't the truth. the truth is you're the weak. and i'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.
10011001
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
thomas jefferson said we should revolt every 50 to 100 years.
i thank my friend adriane for introducing me to this world.
Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?
What Monty Python Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
thomas jefferson said we should revolt every 50 to 100 years.
i thank my friend adriane for introducing me to this world.
4.21.2003
first against the wall
i've been meaning to post these for awhile. these are the opinion of the writer and if you don't agree with me--hey, that's ok. variety is the spice of life.
but you're wrong.
top 5 war movies:
5. tora! tora! tora!
4. 1941
3. the bridge over river kwai
2. the great escape
1. the dirty dozen
top 5 westerns:
5. blazing saddles (hey, it's my list)
4. el dorado
3. il buono, il brutto, il cattivo
2. tombstone
1. the magnificent seven
top 5 trilogies:
5. the evil dead
4. back to the future
3. godfather
2. star wars episodes 4-6
1. LOTR (yes, not out yet, but--again--this is my list)
are 16 yr olds at the intelligence level of the normal voting public?
i say that bananas and peanut butter go really well together.
drugs
i've always thought it was a good beer
i've been meaning to post these for awhile. these are the opinion of the writer and if you don't agree with me--hey, that's ok. variety is the spice of life.
but you're wrong.
top 5 war movies:
5. tora! tora! tora!
4. 1941
3. the bridge over river kwai
2. the great escape
1. the dirty dozen
top 5 westerns:
5. blazing saddles (hey, it's my list)
4. el dorado
3. il buono, il brutto, il cattivo
2. tombstone
1. the magnificent seven
top 5 trilogies:
5. the evil dead
4. back to the future
3. godfather
2. star wars episodes 4-6
1. LOTR (yes, not out yet, but--again--this is my list)
are 16 yr olds at the intelligence level of the normal voting public?
i say that bananas and peanut butter go really well together.
drugs
i've always thought it was a good beer
4.17.2003
hey, whatever, man.
i was sitting on the blue couch. doing what i usually did on the blue couch. nothing. dave on my left on the loveseat. julian across from me on the white soul-sucking couch. they were engrossed in an effort consuming nothing as well.
the mouse came running out from under julian and jumped onto the table and started eating the random food we, as lazy tke boys, had left out. he was small and brown with little paws that had sharp little claws on them. his whiskers were twitchy and long. his eyes were a glossy black. dave yelled something about how the mouse had to go. i didn't like that. how the kids living on the first floor would flip out and try to kill him. i didn't like that. julian just laughed.
i looked at stuart (that's the mouse's name. how do i know? i just knew.). i told stuart that it would be ok. he cocked his head at me in a way that seemed to convey his understanding of my words. i reached out and grabbed him off the table. he wasn't expecting that. his heart beat extraordinarily fast. he looked worried. he told me that he needed protection so he could do what he had to do. and he had to do it.
i set him on my shoulder and told him that it would be ok. he clenched his claws into my skin and sat there in an apprehensive mode--like he didn't like his current position but realized it was still better than the alternatives.
dave and julian asked me what the fuck i was doing. i told them that stuart was going to take a nap, and that anytime stuart wanted to sleep that one of us had to be here to protect him. stuart liked that. he relaxed to the point of curling up and letting his heart slow enough so he could sleep.
after stuart's nap, 5 minutes, 5 hours, i wasn't really paying attention to the trivial passage of time, i took him outside and asked him what he had to do. he looked at me with his little black beady eyes which shone straight into my soul, "you know what i have to do. the squirrels are preparing another assault on the penguins." with that, he jumped from my hand and ran down the steps out into the world to help the noble penguin warriors from the maurading hordes of squirrels.
then i woke up and realized it was only 6:27AM.
for the wpi students in the crowd.
i was sitting on the blue couch. doing what i usually did on the blue couch. nothing. dave on my left on the loveseat. julian across from me on the white soul-sucking couch. they were engrossed in an effort consuming nothing as well.
the mouse came running out from under julian and jumped onto the table and started eating the random food we, as lazy tke boys, had left out. he was small and brown with little paws that had sharp little claws on them. his whiskers were twitchy and long. his eyes were a glossy black. dave yelled something about how the mouse had to go. i didn't like that. how the kids living on the first floor would flip out and try to kill him. i didn't like that. julian just laughed.
i looked at stuart (that's the mouse's name. how do i know? i just knew.). i told stuart that it would be ok. he cocked his head at me in a way that seemed to convey his understanding of my words. i reached out and grabbed him off the table. he wasn't expecting that. his heart beat extraordinarily fast. he looked worried. he told me that he needed protection so he could do what he had to do. and he had to do it.
i set him on my shoulder and told him that it would be ok. he clenched his claws into my skin and sat there in an apprehensive mode--like he didn't like his current position but realized it was still better than the alternatives.
dave and julian asked me what the fuck i was doing. i told them that stuart was going to take a nap, and that anytime stuart wanted to sleep that one of us had to be here to protect him. stuart liked that. he relaxed to the point of curling up and letting his heart slow enough so he could sleep.
after stuart's nap, 5 minutes, 5 hours, i wasn't really paying attention to the trivial passage of time, i took him outside and asked him what he had to do. he looked at me with his little black beady eyes which shone straight into my soul, "you know what i have to do. the squirrels are preparing another assault on the penguins." with that, he jumped from my hand and ran down the steps out into the world to help the noble penguin warriors from the maurading hordes of squirrels.
then i woke up and realized it was only 6:27AM.
for the wpi students in the crowd.
4.16.2003
jkl;
the weather has been bordering paradisal the last 48 hours. 80+ yesterday, sun shining, nice breeze. weather like that only means one thing: outdoor beer pong. the first open air games of the season were played yesterday to a rousing success. games began around 3 and continued for the next several hours. the night games were spectacular shows of skill and agility (even though i missed them cuz i fell asleep from my day games).
there's another you reading this blog!
blogging actually gives me a sense of guilt now. or should i clarify, a lack of blogging. if i don't blog for a day, it makes me feel as if i am letting down those that read my blog. i know, i know, i took like 5 months off, but i did feel guilty for the first couple weeks, and i didn't write regardless. this is a whole 'nother subject that could be delved into on a deep and resounding basis.
and now i've gone 3 days, and i feel like i'm being a bad person for not sharing my thoughts with the world. is that a bad thing or a good thing? am i inflating the value of my opinions and thoughts to a point where i think it actually matters if humanity at large gets to see the workings of my thought process? or there another reason i have this feeling to expunge my brain to the world wide web? does it go back to my feelings of something missing from life (see 4/9/03 post)? am i trying to get my views across to get validation from others that i'm not alone in my thinking? is that all i'm looking for--a reassurance that i'm not crazy? or an assurance that i am crazy and give me justification for my messiah complex? eh, whatever.
the weather has been bordering paradisal the last 48 hours. 80+ yesterday, sun shining, nice breeze. weather like that only means one thing: outdoor beer pong. the first open air games of the season were played yesterday to a rousing success. games began around 3 and continued for the next several hours. the night games were spectacular shows of skill and agility (even though i missed them cuz i fell asleep from my day games).
there's another you reading this blog!
blogging actually gives me a sense of guilt now. or should i clarify, a lack of blogging. if i don't blog for a day, it makes me feel as if i am letting down those that read my blog. i know, i know, i took like 5 months off, but i did feel guilty for the first couple weeks, and i didn't write regardless. this is a whole 'nother subject that could be delved into on a deep and resounding basis.
and now i've gone 3 days, and i feel like i'm being a bad person for not sharing my thoughts with the world. is that a bad thing or a good thing? am i inflating the value of my opinions and thoughts to a point where i think it actually matters if humanity at large gets to see the workings of my thought process? or there another reason i have this feeling to expunge my brain to the world wide web? does it go back to my feelings of something missing from life (see 4/9/03 post)? am i trying to get my views across to get validation from others that i'm not alone in my thinking? is that all i'm looking for--a reassurance that i'm not crazy? or an assurance that i am crazy and give me justification for my messiah complex? eh, whatever.
4.13.2003
can't stop the turn around
should you write if you have nothing to say? is this the most free that your writing can be? when you have no plans and you just let it flow out of yourself? or is this when you just ramble on and do nothing with your words and waste the good people's time that come to read your mighty prose? is this what you do? is it?
no, i'm serious, i have nothing to say.
My twenty thrown down in my fist of rage
And the man to my left just folded down
Johnny doubled up with a Royal Flush
I had three jacks and a pair of nines
My mind is turning just two shots more
There's not much left to play
Then dude walks in Black hat on top, what a mop
I'm lucky it wasn't a county cop, cause I'm just running out of time
Who's up for game two, what to do?
My wallets getting thin and I just lost my watch last night
I got a problem, just one answer got to throw it all down
And kiss it goodbye
That was a crazy game of poker
I lost it all
But someday I'll be back again
And I'm never to fall
Never to fall
Who's up for game three?
I can barely see the bourbon drowning next to me
And I just lost it all
Well there's a man sitting next to me
Red with smiling eyes
It's funny I don't have no money tonight.
That was a crazy game of poker
I lost it all
But someday I'll be back again
And I'm never to fall
Never to fall
Bada biba... ... ...
I say now skitili dat dat dat well how bout that
I'm coming out the front never coming out the back
I walked into the bar yesterday
Cause I had something to do, something to say
And Johnny walked in right behind me and
I didn't turn around
Until I hear the sound of his feet falling
On the ground, looked over my shoulder
And I saw a clown
And I said what are you doing in the bar tonight?
And I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?
He looked at me with a face full of fright
And I said how about a revolution?
And he said , right.
I say of, you say a, I say revolution, and you say Jah 2x
And I said what are you looking at?
He hit me across the face with a bat.
I grabbed my .45 and I said let's get out and go
Well so he opened the door, and said "now, whatcha here for?"
I said I'm wanderin' down the road 44
And I said I've been walking for about a thousand years
And my feet are growing tired
My eyes a little wired
Don't know what to do unless I retire
And he just said let's play some crazy poker
And I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?
He looked at me with a face full of fright
And I said how about a revolution?
And he said right.
I said that was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw
I said that was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw
But Im not gonna quit and I'm not gonna stop
I don't give a shit cause I got the drop
Johnny just got two eyes just like mine
And I'm feeling kind of funky, kinda fine
Cause I drank a bottle of whiskey before I came
Came to the bar to see what's the same
I saw my man named Johnny sitting across the table from
And to my left was a man he had no gin
He didn't even think about starting to sin
The man to my right, wasn't feeling very nice
He looked kinda mad and I felt bad
Because I took his money last night
Now I'm just struggling
I need a honey bunny
I don't know what to say anymore
So Im just going to go out the front door.
--O.A.R. (of a revolution) "crazy game of poker"
(going to the O.A.R. site and some navigation will get you to the point where you can hear this--and other--songs. i recommend)
should you write if you have nothing to say? is this the most free that your writing can be? when you have no plans and you just let it flow out of yourself? or is this when you just ramble on and do nothing with your words and waste the good people's time that come to read your mighty prose? is this what you do? is it?
no, i'm serious, i have nothing to say.
My twenty thrown down in my fist of rage
And the man to my left just folded down
Johnny doubled up with a Royal Flush
I had three jacks and a pair of nines
My mind is turning just two shots more
There's not much left to play
Then dude walks in Black hat on top, what a mop
I'm lucky it wasn't a county cop, cause I'm just running out of time
Who's up for game two, what to do?
My wallets getting thin and I just lost my watch last night
I got a problem, just one answer got to throw it all down
And kiss it goodbye
That was a crazy game of poker
I lost it all
But someday I'll be back again
And I'm never to fall
Never to fall
Who's up for game three?
I can barely see the bourbon drowning next to me
And I just lost it all
Well there's a man sitting next to me
Red with smiling eyes
It's funny I don't have no money tonight.
That was a crazy game of poker
I lost it all
But someday I'll be back again
And I'm never to fall
Never to fall
Bada biba... ... ...
I say now skitili dat dat dat well how bout that
I'm coming out the front never coming out the back
I walked into the bar yesterday
Cause I had something to do, something to say
And Johnny walked in right behind me and
I didn't turn around
Until I hear the sound of his feet falling
On the ground, looked over my shoulder
And I saw a clown
And I said what are you doing in the bar tonight?
And I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?
He looked at me with a face full of fright
And I said how about a revolution?
And he said , right.
I say of, you say a, I say revolution, and you say Jah 2x
And I said what are you looking at?
He hit me across the face with a bat.
I grabbed my .45 and I said let's get out and go
Well so he opened the door, and said "now, whatcha here for?"
I said I'm wanderin' down the road 44
And I said I've been walking for about a thousand years
And my feet are growing tired
My eyes a little wired
Don't know what to do unless I retire
And he just said let's play some crazy poker
And I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?
He looked at me with a face full of fright
And I said how about a revolution?
And he said right.
I said that was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw
I said that was the craziest game of poker that I ever saw
But Im not gonna quit and I'm not gonna stop
I don't give a shit cause I got the drop
Johnny just got two eyes just like mine
And I'm feeling kind of funky, kinda fine
Cause I drank a bottle of whiskey before I came
Came to the bar to see what's the same
I saw my man named Johnny sitting across the table from
And to my left was a man he had no gin
He didn't even think about starting to sin
The man to my right, wasn't feeling very nice
He looked kinda mad and I felt bad
Because I took his money last night
Now I'm just struggling
I need a honey bunny
I don't know what to say anymore
So Im just going to go out the front door.
--O.A.R. (of a revolution) "crazy game of poker"
(going to the O.A.R. site and some navigation will get you to the point where you can hear this--and other--songs. i recommend)
4.11.2003
if i were king
i speak of "hyper-real" (see 20020408 post) dreams as if i they were just a thing of passing, but i haven't been able to shake them for a while. and they are getting to the point where i wake up about 5am from a realistic dream, and i fall asleep for a few minutes then wake up from another hyper-real dream. this continues for about another 4 hours. i can't get a decent night's sleep because i spend the last 4 hours of my night trying to figure out if i'm dreaming or actually experiencing my memories. the last couple days have been slightly messed up because i have to make my mind realize that a good portion of my memories are just subconscious ramblings. this is must harder than you can imagine. in my dreams, i have a good six to eight hours of memories being created. try to tell yourself that all of that is completely made up (as far as my understanding of reality is). i need to get to the point of my dream cycles where i don't remember much. i need to fall asleep and then awake 8-9 hours later with the sun up and the understanding it's the next day with nothing funny happening during the evening hours. i'm becoming batty. not that i wasn't batty before, i'm just becoming really batty.
both minnesota teams won last night. good luck to the gophers on saturday night, and good luck to the wild on saturday at 3.
i speak of "hyper-real" (see 20020408 post) dreams as if i they were just a thing of passing, but i haven't been able to shake them for a while. and they are getting to the point where i wake up about 5am from a realistic dream, and i fall asleep for a few minutes then wake up from another hyper-real dream. this continues for about another 4 hours. i can't get a decent night's sleep because i spend the last 4 hours of my night trying to figure out if i'm dreaming or actually experiencing my memories. the last couple days have been slightly messed up because i have to make my mind realize that a good portion of my memories are just subconscious ramblings. this is must harder than you can imagine. in my dreams, i have a good six to eight hours of memories being created. try to tell yourself that all of that is completely made up (as far as my understanding of reality is). i need to get to the point of my dream cycles where i don't remember much. i need to fall asleep and then awake 8-9 hours later with the sun up and the understanding it's the next day with nothing funny happening during the evening hours. i'm becoming batty. not that i wasn't batty before, i'm just becoming really batty.
both minnesota teams won last night. good luck to the gophers on saturday night, and good luck to the wild on saturday at 3.
4.10.2003
i gots hockey fever
the minnesota wild are making their nhl playoff debut tonight against the colorado nordiques. 3rd year in the league and already going to make some waves as the 6th seed in hockey's tougher western conference. time to kick some ass!
the righteous minnesota golden gophers match up with the evil michigan wolverines tonight for a defense of their 2002 title in this year's frozen four. this is also a rematch of last year's semifinals, so it's going to be a good, good game. bonus for me: i have a personal connection in this year's gopher team. i know one othe goalies--travis weber. he went to my high school and was the goalie when i was a senior. and he's good--nhl quality. this kid is phenomomenonal. and it makes it that much easier to cheer for the gophers and make derogatory remarks towards the wolverines when you have a personal connection.
other sport updates, the minnesota timberwolves are this close to getting homefield advantage in the nba playoffs. we need it. 6 straight years of being seeded 5-8, and 6 straight years of departing first round. KG needs this. flip needs this. i need this.
my fantasy baseball isn't doing too good on yahoo with my friends, but my sandbox league is kicking ass. it's a trade off. i would much rather kick the shit out of my friends, though.
the minnesota wild are making their nhl playoff debut tonight against the colorado nordiques. 3rd year in the league and already going to make some waves as the 6th seed in hockey's tougher western conference. time to kick some ass!
the righteous minnesota golden gophers match up with the evil michigan wolverines tonight for a defense of their 2002 title in this year's frozen four. this is also a rematch of last year's semifinals, so it's going to be a good, good game. bonus for me: i have a personal connection in this year's gopher team. i know one othe goalies--travis weber. he went to my high school and was the goalie when i was a senior. and he's good--nhl quality. this kid is phenomomenonal. and it makes it that much easier to cheer for the gophers and make derogatory remarks towards the wolverines when you have a personal connection.
other sport updates, the minnesota timberwolves are this close to getting homefield advantage in the nba playoffs. we need it. 6 straight years of being seeded 5-8, and 6 straight years of departing first round. KG needs this. flip needs this. i need this.
my fantasy baseball isn't doing too good on yahoo with my friends, but my sandbox league is kicking ass. it's a trade off. i would much rather kick the shit out of my friends, though.
4.09.2003
Super perfundo on the early eve of your day
i just watched waking life today (and i don't agree with the review at imdb at all). this film was fantastic. filmed with real people then animated over that filming. a visual styling that is both at once beautiful and disconcerting. dialogue that doesn't allow full appreciation--or even understanding--on first viewing.
i plan on taking my analog journal and sitting down with this film and trying to get my thoughts about the sections down on paper. i had so many thoughts flowing through my head during the movie, but it kept jumping from scene to scene before i could let it absorb. it just blew me away.
one crazy idea that popped into my head after the movie is this: what if i exist as the dream of someone? say that when i fall asleep the real me is waking up and going, "wow that was a weird dream!" are my dreams the residual memories of the real me existing in his reality? am i just the manifestation of someone's subconscious? and if i am, does that negate or undervalue my existence at all? from the movie: they say that dreams are only real as long as they last. couldn't you say the same thing about life? does it matter whether i exist in a "true" reality or is it ok that my existence is merely the construct of someone else's neurons? either way, i'm fine with it.
cogito ergo sum
another good thing that came from the movie was this one part where a guy asks what is the more universal human characteristic: fear or laziness? this blew my mind as well, cuz i agree with it. i had just never heard it vocalized outside my own head. then couture brought up a point about a book he had read that said we need to take our fear transform it to anger and take that into action.
fear-->anger-->action
our fears hold us back, our anger can make us motivated. and i agree, most of the time that you are motivated it is because you are upset with how some aspect of your life is and you want to improve it. i need to get angry.
another realization that has hit me is that i think there are two type of sufferers in the world: those that are upset with the system and those that are upset with their place within the system. i find myself to be of the former. i don't like the way the world is and i want to change it to something completely radical and different and--in my eyes--beautiful. other people just want to change their lot in the social construct and "do better" based on the current socioeconomic system. my problem is that each group is seen as hopeless and clueless by the other group. vegan hippie communes don't really have the respect of a condo complex near wall street or vice versea (i know, unfair and exaggerated examples, but i enjoy using hyperbole to get my points across).
my only justification for my beliefs is that i have the nagging feeling that we are missing something from modern society--something that will make us, humanity, whole. books like celestine prophecy or virus clans. movies like the matrix or waking life.
something is not right with the way the world is. look around. there are problems everywhere. i don't know if it is a new feeling or if all those that don't quite fit the "mold" of society have always felt that the world needed change. i'm hoping that it is a new global feeling and we are actually in a time of renewal and change. it could be a beautiful world that we are going to evolve into. evolution is moving faster and faster with the passage of time.
2 billions years to life. 6 million to hominids 100,000 to modern man. 4000 for agriculture. 50 years for the internet. we will see change in our lifetime. evolutionary changes will happen in a human time frame (that's from waking life, too).
i just watched waking life today (and i don't agree with the review at imdb at all). this film was fantastic. filmed with real people then animated over that filming. a visual styling that is both at once beautiful and disconcerting. dialogue that doesn't allow full appreciation--or even understanding--on first viewing.
i plan on taking my analog journal and sitting down with this film and trying to get my thoughts about the sections down on paper. i had so many thoughts flowing through my head during the movie, but it kept jumping from scene to scene before i could let it absorb. it just blew me away.
one crazy idea that popped into my head after the movie is this: what if i exist as the dream of someone? say that when i fall asleep the real me is waking up and going, "wow that was a weird dream!" are my dreams the residual memories of the real me existing in his reality? am i just the manifestation of someone's subconscious? and if i am, does that negate or undervalue my existence at all? from the movie: they say that dreams are only real as long as they last. couldn't you say the same thing about life? does it matter whether i exist in a "true" reality or is it ok that my existence is merely the construct of someone else's neurons? either way, i'm fine with it.
cogito ergo sum
another good thing that came from the movie was this one part where a guy asks what is the more universal human characteristic: fear or laziness? this blew my mind as well, cuz i agree with it. i had just never heard it vocalized outside my own head. then couture brought up a point about a book he had read that said we need to take our fear transform it to anger and take that into action.
fear-->anger-->action
our fears hold us back, our anger can make us motivated. and i agree, most of the time that you are motivated it is because you are upset with how some aspect of your life is and you want to improve it. i need to get angry.
another realization that has hit me is that i think there are two type of sufferers in the world: those that are upset with the system and those that are upset with their place within the system. i find myself to be of the former. i don't like the way the world is and i want to change it to something completely radical and different and--in my eyes--beautiful. other people just want to change their lot in the social construct and "do better" based on the current socioeconomic system. my problem is that each group is seen as hopeless and clueless by the other group. vegan hippie communes don't really have the respect of a condo complex near wall street or vice versea (i know, unfair and exaggerated examples, but i enjoy using hyperbole to get my points across).
my only justification for my beliefs is that i have the nagging feeling that we are missing something from modern society--something that will make us, humanity, whole. books like celestine prophecy or virus clans. movies like the matrix or waking life.
something is not right with the way the world is. look around. there are problems everywhere. i don't know if it is a new feeling or if all those that don't quite fit the "mold" of society have always felt that the world needed change. i'm hoping that it is a new global feeling and we are actually in a time of renewal and change. it could be a beautiful world that we are going to evolve into. evolution is moving faster and faster with the passage of time.
2 billions years to life. 6 million to hominids 100,000 to modern man. 4000 for agriculture. 50 years for the internet. we will see change in our lifetime. evolutionary changes will happen in a human time frame (that's from waking life, too).
4.08.2003
shayahteen
my dreams go in cycles. for awhile, i don't remember my dreams. a couple weeks later, i have really wacked out dreams. now, i'm in the stage of my dream progression that i call "hyper-real" dreams.
they are so real that i sometimes have a hard time deciding if the memories are real or just my dream memories. they are usually just a bit off that i can discern that they are dreams. like, my friends from home are in worcester, my college friends are at my grandparent's house, i'm in class. that sort of thing. but nothing weird is happening in the dreams and it usually the stuff that happens is normal everyday stuff i do anyway, so it's really confusing.
like the other day, i had a dream about sewer party not being finished and we were at my grandparent's house. i woke up, realized it was a dream, and went back to sleep. i then had another dream where i talked to people about my first dream. i recalled my dream in a dream! that just amazes me. it also bothers me a bit.
did my brain recall my first dream as a real memory for my second dream, or does my brain really know that it was just a dream memory? if your memories are the basis of your experience, are dream memories real experiences? how does that stuff work? i don't know, but it intrigues me. because if all you have to know you are alive are your memories of your experiences, then how are dream memories different? aren't those experiences real and valid then? or are there levels to the significance of memories? like conscious memories are the only valid ones. but then how do you differentiate between conscious and dream memories? then what about hallucinogens? are the experiences you remember on lsd or mushrooms real? if you assume they were real for you and that makes them valid, what about an objective reality?
does anything exist that isn't in your brain full of memories? that's a dangerous proposition and solipsism is not something i condone. unless of course it is true, and i am the only one that exists.
i oppose daylight savings time. i think it basically a waste of time. (haha. waste of time!). the hour of sunlight shifted to the evening doesn't do anything for me. whoopity-freakin-doo. i don't really have much an argument against daylight savings time. i just don't like it.
i always thought that benjamin franklin started daylight savings time. but did you know that we didn't even adopt a standard time in this country til 1918? and daylight savings time wasn't even a national phenomenon til 1966? it's only been around for 37 years! i thought it was around for like 200 years. i feel so disillusioned.
that's why i signed the petition at this site.
this is why i hate greenpeace and will never support it.
art is what you make of it.
my dreams go in cycles. for awhile, i don't remember my dreams. a couple weeks later, i have really wacked out dreams. now, i'm in the stage of my dream progression that i call "hyper-real" dreams.
they are so real that i sometimes have a hard time deciding if the memories are real or just my dream memories. they are usually just a bit off that i can discern that they are dreams. like, my friends from home are in worcester, my college friends are at my grandparent's house, i'm in class. that sort of thing. but nothing weird is happening in the dreams and it usually the stuff that happens is normal everyday stuff i do anyway, so it's really confusing.
like the other day, i had a dream about sewer party not being finished and we were at my grandparent's house. i woke up, realized it was a dream, and went back to sleep. i then had another dream where i talked to people about my first dream. i recalled my dream in a dream! that just amazes me. it also bothers me a bit.
did my brain recall my first dream as a real memory for my second dream, or does my brain really know that it was just a dream memory? if your memories are the basis of your experience, are dream memories real experiences? how does that stuff work? i don't know, but it intrigues me. because if all you have to know you are alive are your memories of your experiences, then how are dream memories different? aren't those experiences real and valid then? or are there levels to the significance of memories? like conscious memories are the only valid ones. but then how do you differentiate between conscious and dream memories? then what about hallucinogens? are the experiences you remember on lsd or mushrooms real? if you assume they were real for you and that makes them valid, what about an objective reality?
does anything exist that isn't in your brain full of memories? that's a dangerous proposition and solipsism is not something i condone. unless of course it is true, and i am the only one that exists.
i oppose daylight savings time. i think it basically a waste of time. (haha. waste of time!). the hour of sunlight shifted to the evening doesn't do anything for me. whoopity-freakin-doo. i don't really have much an argument against daylight savings time. i just don't like it.
i always thought that benjamin franklin started daylight savings time. but did you know that we didn't even adopt a standard time in this country til 1918? and daylight savings time wasn't even a national phenomenon til 1966? it's only been around for 37 years! i thought it was around for like 200 years. i feel so disillusioned.
that's why i signed the petition at this site.
this is why i hate greenpeace and will never support it.
art is what you make of it.
4.07.2003
good idea, bad idea
good idea: making bread bowls for lunch so people can enjoy a delicious food item.
bad idea: knowing full aware that eating a chili bread bowl will cause you enormous pain in about 2 hours from heartburn but eating a big bowl anyway.
there is an upside and downside to everything. my downside with foods is that i usually am in complete agony from most foods and i pop rolaids like pez.
good weekend overall, the almighty sewer party went well. no deaths or major injuries. lots of drunken college students. and a hot girlfriend. it was beautiful. sunday was spent cleaning up the two weeks of sewer building with two hours of destruction. then some football in the afternoon, some grillin' and some simpsons and star trek on the hill. nemesis is so sad, i cry when data dies at the end.
haha. i love geeks
when you search for the exact phrase "wet dog shit" on google the first 5 sites are for dmx lyrics. that strikes me as odd. (you may be considering why i would even google "wet dog shit." i have my reasons)
and my blog doesn't exist til #31 when you google "rants and raves." i need to be number 1. i have a goal in life.
and what is this?
and reger.org expires in a year, so we may try to pick that one up.
and this makes me mad that i didn't register reger.net when i was in highschool.
my mind is just wandering today. my add (or it's slightly more rambunctious cousin adhd) must be kicking in hard today. peace
good idea: making bread bowls for lunch so people can enjoy a delicious food item.
bad idea: knowing full aware that eating a chili bread bowl will cause you enormous pain in about 2 hours from heartburn but eating a big bowl anyway.
there is an upside and downside to everything. my downside with foods is that i usually am in complete agony from most foods and i pop rolaids like pez.
good weekend overall, the almighty sewer party went well. no deaths or major injuries. lots of drunken college students. and a hot girlfriend. it was beautiful. sunday was spent cleaning up the two weeks of sewer building with two hours of destruction. then some football in the afternoon, some grillin' and some simpsons and star trek on the hill. nemesis is so sad, i cry when data dies at the end.
haha. i love geeks
when you search for the exact phrase "wet dog shit" on google the first 5 sites are for dmx lyrics. that strikes me as odd. (you may be considering why i would even google "wet dog shit." i have my reasons)
and my blog doesn't exist til #31 when you google "rants and raves." i need to be number 1. i have a goal in life.
and what is this?
and reger.org expires in a year, so we may try to pick that one up.
and this makes me mad that i didn't register reger.net when i was in highschool.
my mind is just wandering today. my add (or it's slightly more rambunctious cousin adhd) must be kicking in hard today. peace
4.04.2003
3 days before--and 4 days after--monday
ok, now that that advertisment is out of the way (and really, more than an ad, it's a direct command from whatever diety you decide to worship. that's right, the ancient sumerian god of rain wants you to get jiggy with it at my place on saturday. and if you think you're too old to come to the party, then, my friend, i hope you are know what you're really doing), let's talk about some random stuff.
yesterday, i mentioned the movie driven. now the question i propose is this: after getting an oscar for rocky, this is what sylvester stallone's career is reduced to? i'll give him deathrace 2000, demolition man and judge dredd. but this? this is what the plucky underdog rocky and the most upright citizen ever--rambo--is reduced to? i've lost my innocence.
i've spent almost 4 years in new england. and in all this time, i am still surprised by the number of people in new england that don't like seafood. back in minnesota, where we just have freshwater fish and nothing like what is available out here, people love fish and fish type products. but here, i'm amazed by how many new englanders don't like scallops (which, when wrapped in bacon, are near orgasmic), lobster or shrimp. of course, i am also amazed by how many people don't like their vegetables. i mean, i don't claim to have a very healthy diet, but i love my veggies. give me some nice fresh greens, oranges, reds, whatever the fuck color they are genetically modifying food to these days, and i'm a happy man. i know, i know. taste is subjective and some people don't like some stuff as the other person. but wouldn't liking more kinds of foods be an evolutionary advantage? i'm not picky and i like it all. i'll have a much easier time foraging for caloric intake that satisfies me. score one for me!
ok, time to geek out to star wars II: attack of the clones
SEWER PARTY
ok, now that that advertisment is out of the way (and really, more than an ad, it's a direct command from whatever diety you decide to worship. that's right, the ancient sumerian god of rain wants you to get jiggy with it at my place on saturday. and if you think you're too old to come to the party, then, my friend, i hope you are know what you're really doing), let's talk about some random stuff.
yesterday, i mentioned the movie driven. now the question i propose is this: after getting an oscar for rocky, this is what sylvester stallone's career is reduced to? i'll give him deathrace 2000, demolition man and judge dredd. but this? this is what the plucky underdog rocky and the most upright citizen ever--rambo--is reduced to? i've lost my innocence.
i've spent almost 4 years in new england. and in all this time, i am still surprised by the number of people in new england that don't like seafood. back in minnesota, where we just have freshwater fish and nothing like what is available out here, people love fish and fish type products. but here, i'm amazed by how many new englanders don't like scallops (which, when wrapped in bacon, are near orgasmic), lobster or shrimp. of course, i am also amazed by how many people don't like their vegetables. i mean, i don't claim to have a very healthy diet, but i love my veggies. give me some nice fresh greens, oranges, reds, whatever the fuck color they are genetically modifying food to these days, and i'm a happy man. i know, i know. taste is subjective and some people don't like some stuff as the other person. but wouldn't liking more kinds of foods be an evolutionary advantage? i'm not picky and i like it all. i'll have a much easier time foraging for caloric intake that satisfies me. score one for me!
ok, time to geek out to star wars II: attack of the clones
4.03.2003
throwin' 'bos
you make concessions for people because they are your friends and supposedly they share a bond with you that most people don't. but then you refuse to extend that to them on certain situations. or you make a double standard when you deal with them in certain situations. this blows my mind. and upsets me greatly. upsets me to the point of wanting to step away from it all. also relieved because most of the people that i feel are causing the problem will soon no longer have positions of authority. once in awhile, the passion returns. but then, someone makes me feel that my opinion is worthless. the only consolation is that i don't think i'm the only one.
disclaimer: the following has nothing to do with my own relationship, i am very happy with carla. this is just observations i've made of other people. you should not mix with ex-significant others. maybe the people i know are just really immature and i suck with having a relationship with my exes, but i've never seen any good coming out of exes getting back together. the relationship ended for some reason--either you thought it was over or the other person did or it was mutual. relationships need to evolve just like individuals do. and my experience is that one of the partners have evolved faster than the other person or the relationship as a whole. and there is nothing wrong with that. that is just the way the human dynamic works. but it's the aftermath that is hard to deal with. trying to get back together or "trying it again" has never worked in my experience or watching others experiences. i used to be surprised when people broke up and was like "why would you get rid of them? but now i realize that relationships have to grow and if they aren't given nutrients by both partners, the growth will be stunted or it won't grow at all. it bothers me when people think that once it's dead, they can grow it back. you need a new plant. jeez, this growth metaphor just went to shit. anyhoo, the point of this rant was i think it's rare for exes to get back together and have a good relationship again. the ability to be friends (or at least on cordial terms) i think is something that can happen. it just requires time and a willingness on both parties to be friends. it's hard to get both to think in those terms and not the old feelings get in the way of trying to make a lasting friendship. now that i've written this, it doesn't really make that much sense. i've been distracted by driven on the tv instead of trying to make sure this was logical and coherent. but i've spent too long trying to write it so i'm just going to post it anyway. enjoy.
good news, i whooped ass in the first day of the tke fantasy league. i don't expect this to last long, but i do expect to be top 3 in our league.
not much war news from me lately, just check these out:
al jazeera--it's just as fair as cnn
english version of al jazeera
"i'm out there, jerry! and i'm lovin' it!"--cosmo kramer
you make concessions for people because they are your friends and supposedly they share a bond with you that most people don't. but then you refuse to extend that to them on certain situations. or you make a double standard when you deal with them in certain situations. this blows my mind. and upsets me greatly. upsets me to the point of wanting to step away from it all. also relieved because most of the people that i feel are causing the problem will soon no longer have positions of authority. once in awhile, the passion returns. but then, someone makes me feel that my opinion is worthless. the only consolation is that i don't think i'm the only one.
disclaimer: the following has nothing to do with my own relationship, i am very happy with carla. this is just observations i've made of other people. you should not mix with ex-significant others. maybe the people i know are just really immature and i suck with having a relationship with my exes, but i've never seen any good coming out of exes getting back together. the relationship ended for some reason--either you thought it was over or the other person did or it was mutual. relationships need to evolve just like individuals do. and my experience is that one of the partners have evolved faster than the other person or the relationship as a whole. and there is nothing wrong with that. that is just the way the human dynamic works. but it's the aftermath that is hard to deal with. trying to get back together or "trying it again" has never worked in my experience or watching others experiences. i used to be surprised when people broke up and was like "why would you get rid of them? but now i realize that relationships have to grow and if they aren't given nutrients by both partners, the growth will be stunted or it won't grow at all. it bothers me when people think that once it's dead, they can grow it back. you need a new plant. jeez, this growth metaphor just went to shit. anyhoo, the point of this rant was i think it's rare for exes to get back together and have a good relationship again. the ability to be friends (or at least on cordial terms) i think is something that can happen. it just requires time and a willingness on both parties to be friends. it's hard to get both to think in those terms and not the old feelings get in the way of trying to make a lasting friendship. now that i've written this, it doesn't really make that much sense. i've been distracted by driven on the tv instead of trying to make sure this was logical and coherent. but i've spent too long trying to write it so i'm just going to post it anyway. enjoy.
good news, i whooped ass in the first day of the tke fantasy league. i don't expect this to last long, but i do expect to be top 3 in our league.
not much war news from me lately, just check these out:
al jazeera--it's just as fair as cnn
english version of al jazeera
"i'm out there, jerry! and i'm lovin' it!"--cosmo kramer
4.02.2003
fantasy baseball
i usually sign up for a fantasy baseball league every year. been doing so for the last few years. this year, i'm doing one at sandbox with some random people from the internet. but i'm also doing one with some tke guys this year. and i'm going to say this one is going to be much more exciting because we all live together and it will be fun to talk trash at meals, and it's just that more intense of a competition when it's your friends. nothing is more satisfying than crushing the people you trust your life with in a meaningless game. it's rewarding to the soul. the big thing is i got the rocket on my team. clemens--another 20 win season with some nasty KOs. i love it.
in other news, the gf is cutting the hair tonight. she wants me to look presentable for the agd spring formal. she doesn't realize that that is a uphill battle. ;)
i usually sign up for a fantasy baseball league every year. been doing so for the last few years. this year, i'm doing one at sandbox with some random people from the internet. but i'm also doing one with some tke guys this year. and i'm going to say this one is going to be much more exciting because we all live together and it will be fun to talk trash at meals, and it's just that more intense of a competition when it's your friends. nothing is more satisfying than crushing the people you trust your life with in a meaningless game. it's rewarding to the soul. the big thing is i got the rocket on my team. clemens--another 20 win season with some nasty KOs. i love it.
in other news, the gf is cutting the hair tonight. she wants me to look presentable for the agd spring formal. she doesn't realize that that is a uphill battle. ;)
SEWER PARTY
april 5 @ TKE
4.01.2003
ramblings of an old man
he awoke with the same twinge in the small of his back. he had forgotten when it started bothering him. he was old. he had stopped caring that it was bothering him. he crawled out of bed, dreading the coming day. not because he was hurting or not wanting to work or that he was tired--well, he was tired. but it was his mind and heart that needed rest. his body would trudge along as it had for so many years. it was his soul that was yearning for a rest. he got dressed in his usual style. he left his small home. he did his daily tasks. he gave back to the village what he could. not that it was much anymore. he was old. he was once important. he was once listened to and respected. he remembered the times when he could rally the village to whatever cause was deemed worthy that day. he ran his old hands over his bald head. would he even recognize that man if saw a picture of him? probably not. time had run its course. he was old. more than old--outdated. he watched the council of elders as they moved down the street readying themselves for their daily discourse. he frowned. even when he was of use to people of the village, his voice was not heard in the council. they had no use for a man of his character. he frowned harder. outdated. unwanted. but not unneeded. yet. he was still good for sweeping and cleaning and telling stories around the hearth. he dusted his pants off. the frown deepened til even his heavily creased forehead was furrowed so deep it looked like his head was splitting. he resented the fact that the world had changed. no, he resented that fact that he hadn't changed. he looked to the horizon. the mountains were still shrouded in a light haze at this early morning hour. he looked up and down the street. some would miss him if he left. others would not even notice. he felt sorry for one of those camps. he couldn't decide which, though. he sighed a heavy sigh. it was the sigh that he always used when he thought of the old days. he picked up his small pack, filled with two days of water and a loaf of bread. he had always wondered what the sunrise looked like from the mountains.
he awoke with the same twinge in the small of his back. he had forgotten when it started bothering him. he was old. he had stopped caring that it was bothering him. he crawled out of bed, dreading the coming day. not because he was hurting or not wanting to work or that he was tired--well, he was tired. but it was his mind and heart that needed rest. his body would trudge along as it had for so many years. it was his soul that was yearning for a rest. he got dressed in his usual style. he left his small home. he did his daily tasks. he gave back to the village what he could. not that it was much anymore. he was old. he was once important. he was once listened to and respected. he remembered the times when he could rally the village to whatever cause was deemed worthy that day. he ran his old hands over his bald head. would he even recognize that man if saw a picture of him? probably not. time had run its course. he was old. more than old--outdated. he watched the council of elders as they moved down the street readying themselves for their daily discourse. he frowned. even when he was of use to people of the village, his voice was not heard in the council. they had no use for a man of his character. he frowned harder. outdated. unwanted. but not unneeded. yet. he was still good for sweeping and cleaning and telling stories around the hearth. he dusted his pants off. the frown deepened til even his heavily creased forehead was furrowed so deep it looked like his head was splitting. he resented the fact that the world had changed. no, he resented that fact that he hadn't changed. he looked to the horizon. the mountains were still shrouded in a light haze at this early morning hour. he looked up and down the street. some would miss him if he left. others would not even notice. he felt sorry for one of those camps. he couldn't decide which, though. he sighed a heavy sigh. it was the sigh that he always used when he thought of the old days. he picked up his small pack, filled with two days of water and a loaf of bread. he had always wondered what the sunrise looked like from the mountains.
april means baseball
opening day was yesterday, and it brought with it the usual: yankees won, and the red sox showed why they won't win the division even though they have the best pitcher in the american league and one of the best short stops of our era. it's fun to be in red sox country and not be a red sox fan, cuz it's so much easier to make fun of them than to suffer along with them. everyday new englanders are dying that have never seen the red sox win a world series. everyone under the age of 17 has never seen them even compete in a fall classic. the bosox are like the cubbies of the american league. good team, but all the fans can do is go wtf? but it's the beginning of a new season and that means anything could happen. the angels won it all last year, and who knows? the devil rays just may be due to ride it out this season. at least we can be sure the brewers won't be doing much but providing jokes about demoting the whole team to the minors.
top 5 baseball movies:
5. little big league--nothing better than a 12 yr old taking over the minnesota twins
4. mr. baseball--tom selleck has trouble adjusting to japanese culture? not magnum!
3. major league--tom beringer's finest role
2. the natural--wonder boy says it all
1. field of dreams--if you build it...
opening day was yesterday, and it brought with it the usual: yankees won, and the red sox showed why they won't win the division even though they have the best pitcher in the american league and one of the best short stops of our era. it's fun to be in red sox country and not be a red sox fan, cuz it's so much easier to make fun of them than to suffer along with them. everyday new englanders are dying that have never seen the red sox win a world series. everyone under the age of 17 has never seen them even compete in a fall classic. the bosox are like the cubbies of the american league. good team, but all the fans can do is go wtf? but it's the beginning of a new season and that means anything could happen. the angels won it all last year, and who knows? the devil rays just may be due to ride it out this season. at least we can be sure the brewers won't be doing much but providing jokes about demoting the whole team to the minors.
top 5 baseball movies:
5. little big league--nothing better than a 12 yr old taking over the minnesota twins
4. mr. baseball--tom selleck has trouble adjusting to japanese culture? not magnum!
3. major league--tom beringer's finest role
2. the natural--wonder boy says it all
1. field of dreams--if you build it...
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