me encantan los potros enojados
everything drowns out. the music, the other people, the multiple beers you have in you. the world fades to just a faint glimmer in the background.
your partner hits the white plastic sphere. the only thing you hear is wood paddle on plastic ball.
doink
you watch it arc over the table. the opponent begins his swing. already, you're aware that this is it. your focus is so intense you can actually see the collision and the deformation of the ball as the opponent returns the volley.
doink
you watch the rainbow of white as it makes its parabola course towards the spot on the table you mapped out before you were born.
doink
your swing is already half way before you realize that you're even moving your body at all. you connect.
doink
you feel the hit course through your body. you don't even have to look anymore. you've known it was dead on target before God did. the ball arcs, your neck hairs stand up, your heart swells.
splash
nothing but beer.
a triumphiant yawp escapes your mouth and the rest of the world returns to focus. but for that eternity--that second--you were master of all you survey, and it was all good.
that's why i love playing beer pong.
everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.--leo tolstoy
5.31.2003
5.30.2003
eyes the color of canadian whiskey
there is a lenscrafters right across from where i work. it has blazing red neon lights running the edges of its storefront.
to me, this seems a bit odd.
an eyecare place is causing my eyes to hurt everytime i look at the place.
one would guess that the guy in charge there is either blind or not a very good eyedoctor. either case, i'll stick to my lenscrafters in the mall.
with the woman out of town, i've discontinued the grooming act of shaving.
the woman doesn't approve of a bread, but i approve of a beard.
so i don't grow one. but she's gone for another week, so "hello, sasquatch!"
i have a theory that subway is trying to create a religion.
look at their commercials. in 500 years, archeaologists are going to think that jared was some type of messiah figure.
then they came out with john henry the fireman guy--he's to jared what paul was to jesus.
then came the guy that goes around and saves people from "boring" food to the salvation that is the subway.
and now, there are more subways than mcdonald's in america.
subway is becoming the all-american icon of fast food. if people start associating america with subway instead of mcdonald's, there is no telling what kind of power base they will be able to create in the world. a subway shop on every street corner of every city in the world.
and i don't think they are going to let it stop at that.
no way, jose.
the second apostle of jared has already been found.
may the sandwich god bless you, and the angels of soutwest teriyaki sauce protect you.
there is a lenscrafters right across from where i work. it has blazing red neon lights running the edges of its storefront.
to me, this seems a bit odd.
an eyecare place is causing my eyes to hurt everytime i look at the place.
one would guess that the guy in charge there is either blind or not a very good eyedoctor. either case, i'll stick to my lenscrafters in the mall.
with the woman out of town, i've discontinued the grooming act of shaving.
the woman doesn't approve of a bread, but i approve of a beard.
so i don't grow one. but she's gone for another week, so "hello, sasquatch!"
i have a theory that subway is trying to create a religion.
look at their commercials. in 500 years, archeaologists are going to think that jared was some type of messiah figure.
then they came out with john henry the fireman guy--he's to jared what paul was to jesus.
then came the guy that goes around and saves people from "boring" food to the salvation that is the subway.
and now, there are more subways than mcdonald's in america.
subway is becoming the all-american icon of fast food. if people start associating america with subway instead of mcdonald's, there is no telling what kind of power base they will be able to create in the world. a subway shop on every street corner of every city in the world.
and i don't think they are going to let it stop at that.
no way, jose.
the second apostle of jared has already been found.
may the sandwich god bless you, and the angels of soutwest teriyaki sauce protect you.
5.29.2003
only his weariness was heavier than the dew that morning
i like the bus. i don't take the city bus ala the busblogger. i take greyhound and leave the driving to them.
the bus has been the mode of transportation from massachusetts to minnesota and back many times. i like the leisure of the bus. granted, it does take a helluva lot longer than the plane, but it's cheaper and offers a whole other kind of experience.
you meet many different kinds of people on the bus. poor college kids like me. people trying to pick up and start a new life somewhere else. low-income families going to visit other family members. military people hitching a ride to whatever base they're headed. mormons. it's all good. but the fascinating part is the bus stations. and today i'm going to take you on a tour of the main destinations of my route.
worcester
it smells and looks old. mint green walls of the 70s, uncomfortable vinyl chairs, not nice bathrooms. but it is the start of the way, and no journey of a thousand miles can start without a single step.
new york city
this place is gi-normous. 200 some gates and a lot of people. most of it is underground, so you don't really get to see a lot. i like going here because you get to ride through the city to get to it--down little streets with peculiar shops and even more peculiar people. another fave is the people that come up to you and ask you if want some help going to your gate. they are usually bums and they ask you for a tip afterward. i tend to ignore them and let them try to take some other sucker. i also met a guy from costa rica there once. he was headed to worcester like me. we discussed differences in culture and i taught him some american slang. i dislike the usually 4 hour layover i have there starting at 1 in the morn.
cleveland
cavernous is the best way to describe this place. probably the most efficiently run station that i've stopped at, as well. cnn's headline news is usually on the tvs, so you can get some current event info. one time there were a bunch of mormons there getting ready to go out on their apostilizing. there must have been 150 of them. i think jesus was even there. also, this is the best place for lunch and dinner. they have fantastic italian sausages and one damn fine blt. so i recommend planning a meal break for your stop in ohio. my only complaint: the metal wicker chairs.
chicago
no matter what time i roll into the windy city, this terminal is packed to the gills with people. the waiting area could definately be expanded by at least 50%. they have sports pictures and the logos of the chicago teams on the wall, so it has a nice theme going for it. the vending machines there are ridonkulously expensive, but the breakfast at their little cafe is quite delicious. if you can catch the hash browns on a crispy day, snatch some up. besides being super packed, the other downfall of the chicago stop is the drug dealers. my average is about 3. i get asked if i want some weed, e or coke by some shady, shady characters there. the only redeeming quality of the dealers is that they are very indiscriminate about who they ask. grandmas, kids, businessmen, college kids, everyone is an equal opportunity sale for them.
tomah, wi
the quad is bigger than the tomah bus station, but i mention it for the building right next door: mcdonald's. i'm usually not a big fan of mcdonald's food most of the time, but of all the mcd's that i've ever eaten at, this is by far the best one. and they are open 24/7. which is good because we usually stop there around 2am on most schedules. a large strawberry shake and a mcchicken. mmhmm.
minneapolis
they recently redid this bus stop. it is the nicest looking one of them all. decent food, good help. but i like that it is in minneapolis and i actually know that town, so i can go wandering and not worry about too much. the last time i was there, this bum took me to this little hole in the wall restaurant cuz i said i was hungry for a steak and cheese. his taxi on foot only cost me a dollar, and let me tell you, the steak and cheese was most definately worth that extra dollar. i don't really remember the name of the place, but i remember where it is and could find it again if i had to.
duluth, mn
very small, but close to home and it has a hardee's about a block away. people do not know the joy of hardee's in new england. for that i pity them.
virginia, mn
my usually final destination--about 25 minutes from my house--it's a rinky-dink stop at the lakeshore motor inn, but it's familiar territory. and, if it's on my homeward trip, i'm greeted by smiling family member(s), glad to see me again. which sure does make the 36 hour trip more than worth it.
i like the bus. i don't take the city bus ala the busblogger. i take greyhound and leave the driving to them.
the bus has been the mode of transportation from massachusetts to minnesota and back many times. i like the leisure of the bus. granted, it does take a helluva lot longer than the plane, but it's cheaper and offers a whole other kind of experience.
you meet many different kinds of people on the bus. poor college kids like me. people trying to pick up and start a new life somewhere else. low-income families going to visit other family members. military people hitching a ride to whatever base they're headed. mormons. it's all good. but the fascinating part is the bus stations. and today i'm going to take you on a tour of the main destinations of my route.
worcester
it smells and looks old. mint green walls of the 70s, uncomfortable vinyl chairs, not nice bathrooms. but it is the start of the way, and no journey of a thousand miles can start without a single step.
new york city
this place is gi-normous. 200 some gates and a lot of people. most of it is underground, so you don't really get to see a lot. i like going here because you get to ride through the city to get to it--down little streets with peculiar shops and even more peculiar people. another fave is the people that come up to you and ask you if want some help going to your gate. they are usually bums and they ask you for a tip afterward. i tend to ignore them and let them try to take some other sucker. i also met a guy from costa rica there once. he was headed to worcester like me. we discussed differences in culture and i taught him some american slang. i dislike the usually 4 hour layover i have there starting at 1 in the morn.
cleveland
cavernous is the best way to describe this place. probably the most efficiently run station that i've stopped at, as well. cnn's headline news is usually on the tvs, so you can get some current event info. one time there were a bunch of mormons there getting ready to go out on their apostilizing. there must have been 150 of them. i think jesus was even there. also, this is the best place for lunch and dinner. they have fantastic italian sausages and one damn fine blt. so i recommend planning a meal break for your stop in ohio. my only complaint: the metal wicker chairs.
chicago
no matter what time i roll into the windy city, this terminal is packed to the gills with people. the waiting area could definately be expanded by at least 50%. they have sports pictures and the logos of the chicago teams on the wall, so it has a nice theme going for it. the vending machines there are ridonkulously expensive, but the breakfast at their little cafe is quite delicious. if you can catch the hash browns on a crispy day, snatch some up. besides being super packed, the other downfall of the chicago stop is the drug dealers. my average is about 3. i get asked if i want some weed, e or coke by some shady, shady characters there. the only redeeming quality of the dealers is that they are very indiscriminate about who they ask. grandmas, kids, businessmen, college kids, everyone is an equal opportunity sale for them.
tomah, wi
the quad is bigger than the tomah bus station, but i mention it for the building right next door: mcdonald's. i'm usually not a big fan of mcdonald's food most of the time, but of all the mcd's that i've ever eaten at, this is by far the best one. and they are open 24/7. which is good because we usually stop there around 2am on most schedules. a large strawberry shake and a mcchicken. mmhmm.
minneapolis
they recently redid this bus stop. it is the nicest looking one of them all. decent food, good help. but i like that it is in minneapolis and i actually know that town, so i can go wandering and not worry about too much. the last time i was there, this bum took me to this little hole in the wall restaurant cuz i said i was hungry for a steak and cheese. his taxi on foot only cost me a dollar, and let me tell you, the steak and cheese was most definately worth that extra dollar. i don't really remember the name of the place, but i remember where it is and could find it again if i had to.
duluth, mn
very small, but close to home and it has a hardee's about a block away. people do not know the joy of hardee's in new england. for that i pity them.
virginia, mn
my usually final destination--about 25 minutes from my house--it's a rinky-dink stop at the lakeshore motor inn, but it's familiar territory. and, if it's on my homeward trip, i'm greeted by smiling family member(s), glad to see me again. which sure does make the 36 hour trip more than worth it.
5.28.2003
your indifference is more aggravating than your failures
the good thing about working that night crew is the "benefits package" that includes a buffet. basically, we get to eat whatever we want during the night.
the bad thing about work is that i'm low man on the totem and may not get the vacation time i want...
i saw the sun for the first time in about a week yesterday. no, not because i sleep the entire day away, but because the weather has been down right shite for the past week or so. for a brief couple minutes it broke through the clouds and gave me a bit of most welcome warmth. i submit to this as the definition of happiness.
that is all.
the good thing about working that night crew is the "benefits package" that includes a buffet. basically, we get to eat whatever we want during the night.
the bad thing about work is that i'm low man on the totem and may not get the vacation time i want...
i saw the sun for the first time in about a week yesterday. no, not because i sleep the entire day away, but because the weather has been down right shite for the past week or so. for a brief couple minutes it broke through the clouds and gave me a bit of most welcome warmth. i submit to this as the definition of happiness.
that is all.
5.27.2003
bumper sticker mentality
a political platform is made up of ten planks--the issues the candidate wants to show as their greater appeal over their opponent.
i present to you the platform of the reger 2016 United States Presidential Campaign.
(presented in no particular order. subject to change based upon if any of these happen in the next 13 years, or i change my mind.)
flat personal income tax
same percentage for everyone. my plan has only an exemption for a tax credit for dependents. eliminates irs and, while not the best choice for the rich, is fair.
universal health care
the creation of a top-notch healthcare system where anyone that needs a doctor or medicine can get it without the beaucracy of today's medicare. implementable if done with the proper budget and management system.
legalization of "soft" drugs
marijuana and hallucinogens should be legalized and taxed the ever-living-shit out of. things are easier to regulate than banish.
universal education
anyone that wants to go to college--and can meet specific performance levels--should be provided an education. will help economy in long run with a better trained technocrat population.
world government
a functioning world body based upon us govt (executive, judicial and legislative branches--one on population, one on member status). i think that humanity needs to make a choice about whether to stay with the nation state system or to evolve beyond it into a truly global community.
free trade
i am a fan of the world trade organization and the international monetary fund. but free trade needs to be extended to all countries and all products. yes, it will kill off some industries in this country, but if we can't compete in the global market, we shouldn't.
pro-choice
this debate is futile anyway, since we should be focusing on why people have unwanted pregnancies and promisicous sex and then effectively educate them about alternatives like birth control, adoption or abstinence.
gun control
people should be able to own handguns, rifles and shotguns for recreational and sporting use. no need to have assault rifles or automatic weapons. also, the creation of a nationwide registration system. we have to register cars and job status with the government, so i don't think it's that far-fetched of a step to register our guns.
a national language
i prefer american english since it's my native toungue. but we need a national language so we have a set standard for communication between the government and the public. this eliminates government waste as we don't need to spend money on bilingual publications or translations, and it creates a more cohesive national image if we can all have a common language to share.
social security, welfare and unemployment--"social net" programs
social security is good--we can keep that if we learn to create a realistic federal budget. the welfare to work programs are nice in theory, but need a much better implemenation procedure that has a lower rate of recidivism. unemployment benefits get the thumbs up.
so that's the platform i would run on today if i had the resources, the national image or the ambition.
a political platform is made up of ten planks--the issues the candidate wants to show as their greater appeal over their opponent.
i present to you the platform of the reger 2016 United States Presidential Campaign.
(presented in no particular order. subject to change based upon if any of these happen in the next 13 years, or i change my mind.)
flat personal income tax
same percentage for everyone. my plan has only an exemption for a tax credit for dependents. eliminates irs and, while not the best choice for the rich, is fair.
universal health care
the creation of a top-notch healthcare system where anyone that needs a doctor or medicine can get it without the beaucracy of today's medicare. implementable if done with the proper budget and management system.
legalization of "soft" drugs
marijuana and hallucinogens should be legalized and taxed the ever-living-shit out of. things are easier to regulate than banish.
universal education
anyone that wants to go to college--and can meet specific performance levels--should be provided an education. will help economy in long run with a better trained technocrat population.
world government
a functioning world body based upon us govt (executive, judicial and legislative branches--one on population, one on member status). i think that humanity needs to make a choice about whether to stay with the nation state system or to evolve beyond it into a truly global community.
free trade
i am a fan of the world trade organization and the international monetary fund. but free trade needs to be extended to all countries and all products. yes, it will kill off some industries in this country, but if we can't compete in the global market, we shouldn't.
pro-choice
this debate is futile anyway, since we should be focusing on why people have unwanted pregnancies and promisicous sex and then effectively educate them about alternatives like birth control, adoption or abstinence.
gun control
people should be able to own handguns, rifles and shotguns for recreational and sporting use. no need to have assault rifles or automatic weapons. also, the creation of a nationwide registration system. we have to register cars and job status with the government, so i don't think it's that far-fetched of a step to register our guns.
a national language
i prefer american english since it's my native toungue. but we need a national language so we have a set standard for communication between the government and the public. this eliminates government waste as we don't need to spend money on bilingual publications or translations, and it creates a more cohesive national image if we can all have a common language to share.
social security, welfare and unemployment--"social net" programs
social security is good--we can keep that if we learn to create a realistic federal budget. the welfare to work programs are nice in theory, but need a much better implemenation procedure that has a lower rate of recidivism. unemployment benefits get the thumbs up.
so that's the platform i would run on today if i had the resources, the national image or the ambition.
5.25.2003
crumpled piece of paper, seven nines and tens
my mouse doesn't roll to the left, so using the computer has become somewhat difficult.
watching drunk people while you're sober has to be one of the most entertaining things in the world.
trying to talk to drunk people while you're sober has to be one of the most futile excercises in the world.
i have 15 books on my bookshelf that i own and have not read yet.
corn bread and cheesy eggs for breakfast may be the culmination of western civilization.
for the summer, we had to move from the small house of tke to the big house (we only keep one open for the summer). my roommates and i decided that we wouldn't bring a tv over. two reasons: one, we are lazy. two, we think it will make us be more sociable and force us to read, talk, you know, real stuff.
but i miss tv. i miss falling asleep to sportscenter. i miss futurama and family guy at the 11 o'clock hour on cartoon network. i miss the history channel. i miss monster garage on discovery. there is so much good stuff on tv. and not to mention the movies. there are movies on like 134 channels at any given moment and i'm talking just broadcast networks! add on plugging in dvd players and gaming consoles, the tv is a focal point of my life. and i'm going through withdrawl.
say what you will about the boob tube and how it is filled with drivel. reality tv is the worst thing that could happen to this hallowed insitution (minus mtv's reality tv--that shit is going to be studied by future generations). 24 hour news channels only use scare tactics and flashy graphics to get us to watch. i'd say 95% of the programming is pure shite.i'll even concede the point that it rots my brain.
but i don't care, i like rotten brains.
with paramsean and a hearty marinara.
my mouse doesn't roll to the left, so using the computer has become somewhat difficult.
watching drunk people while you're sober has to be one of the most entertaining things in the world.
trying to talk to drunk people while you're sober has to be one of the most futile excercises in the world.
i have 15 books on my bookshelf that i own and have not read yet.
corn bread and cheesy eggs for breakfast may be the culmination of western civilization.
for the summer, we had to move from the small house of tke to the big house (we only keep one open for the summer). my roommates and i decided that we wouldn't bring a tv over. two reasons: one, we are lazy. two, we think it will make us be more sociable and force us to read, talk, you know, real stuff.
but i miss tv. i miss falling asleep to sportscenter. i miss futurama and family guy at the 11 o'clock hour on cartoon network. i miss the history channel. i miss monster garage on discovery. there is so much good stuff on tv. and not to mention the movies. there are movies on like 134 channels at any given moment and i'm talking just broadcast networks! add on plugging in dvd players and gaming consoles, the tv is a focal point of my life. and i'm going through withdrawl.
say what you will about the boob tube and how it is filled with drivel. reality tv is the worst thing that could happen to this hallowed insitution (minus mtv's reality tv--that shit is going to be studied by future generations). 24 hour news channels only use scare tactics and flashy graphics to get us to watch. i'd say 95% of the programming is pure shite.i'll even concede the point that it rots my brain.
but i don't care, i like rotten brains.
with paramsean and a hearty marinara.
5.24.2003
she thinks she missed the train to mars
three things made me happy yesterday:
it was the first anniversary of the blog. i'm so vain.
i made the best grilled cheese of my entire life. canadian cheddar on whole wheat
a guy at work gave me the animatrix on divx.
three things made me upset yesterday:
multiple people stopped--STOPPED--on the onramp to 290. don't stop on the onramp, please.
i had to go to the evil empire yesterday--fleet bank.
i saw some details on the tax cut package that was passed.
i will expand upon my view of the tax cut.
warren buffet says it's a bad idea, and that really should be good enough for anyone. i don't know how sound this theory is, but my take on it is that if you cut taxes to the middle and lower classes, then you increase the amount of money being put back into the economy. lower income people are more likely to increase spending instead of increasing savings if given a rebate or an extra $50 in each paycheck. with consumer confidence going back up by the increased spending, stocks will go up and the rich will get richer. instead of trickle down, it's "shooting hose into the sky." the rich will get wet, but so will the poorer--and a lot quicker than the "voodoo" economics of reagan.
here are some numbers i crunched from the cnn article. just by using the percentage cuts that each bracket is getting anyway and ordering them so the lowest income gets the biggest percentage, i put more money in the pockets of the lower brackets--and saved the government money. almost a third on the single tax breaks and a smaller--but still substantial--5% on the 2 dependents tax break.
to me it makes sense to give the money to those that are going to pump it into the economy through being consumers of goods and services instead of those that are investors. a thousand smackaroos don't really matter to someone with a cool half mil in the market. but to a school teacher, that's next month's mortgage.
buffet says no. i say no. our constitutionally-questionable elected president will give big thumbs up.
three things made me happy yesterday:
it was the first anniversary of the blog. i'm so vain.
i made the best grilled cheese of my entire life. canadian cheddar on whole wheat
a guy at work gave me the animatrix on divx.
three things made me upset yesterday:
multiple people stopped--STOPPED--on the onramp to 290. don't stop on the onramp, please.
i had to go to the evil empire yesterday--fleet bank.
i saw some details on the tax cut package that was passed.
i will expand upon my view of the tax cut.
warren buffet says it's a bad idea, and that really should be good enough for anyone. i don't know how sound this theory is, but my take on it is that if you cut taxes to the middle and lower classes, then you increase the amount of money being put back into the economy. lower income people are more likely to increase spending instead of increasing savings if given a rebate or an extra $50 in each paycheck. with consumer confidence going back up by the increased spending, stocks will go up and the rich will get richer. instead of trickle down, it's "shooting hose into the sky." the rich will get wet, but so will the poorer--and a lot quicker than the "voodoo" economics of reagan.
here are some numbers i crunched from the cnn article. just by using the percentage cuts that each bracket is getting anyway and ordering them so the lowest income gets the biggest percentage, i put more money in the pockets of the lower brackets--and saved the government money. almost a third on the single tax breaks and a smaller--but still substantial--5% on the 2 dependents tax break.
to me it makes sense to give the money to those that are going to pump it into the economy through being consumers of goods and services instead of those that are investors. a thousand smackaroos don't really matter to someone with a cool half mil in the market. but to a school teacher, that's next month's mortgage.
buffet says no. i say no. our constitutionally-questionable elected president will give big thumbs up.
5.23.2003
memories come flooding
hootie and the blowfish have a special sentimental meaning for me. everytime i hear a hootie song, a memory flashes that is both painful and joyful. i think that's why they are one of my favorite bands. that may sound weird, but hear me out:
i knew a kid once named spencer. spence to those close to him. i'm pretty sure i was introduced to him through his cousin--and one of my best friends--sartori. spence wasn't a normal kid. he had learning disabilities and the like. but he was strong and excellent at sports, so he had his niche. he was also one of the nicest people could have ever met in all your lifetimes.
some of us used to hang out at the sartori cabin on long lake north of nashwauk. we would go out in the paddle boat or swim near the floating dock or sauna or shoot off illegal fireworks. in the yesterdays before alcohol and drugs, that was our ultimate. the best times you could have.
hootie's got a song "the old man and me." me and spencer liked that song. my fondest memory of spence is us sitting at the sartori cabin with spence singing made up lyrics to song that involve him, me and landing some babes. that was spence. that was the way we all liked him.
he went in for some routine dental surgery, and i never saw him again. an allergic reaction to the anestethic sent him into a coma that he never recovered from. i don't think he had his driver's license yet, even.
this was the first time a person my age that i actually knew had shed his mortal coil and met whatever God pleased him. it was rough to understand why such a thing would happen. but that's life. no explanation, just the consequences. his passing made me face some unplesant thoughts about God, the afterlife, the worthiness of life. all in all, i understood a lot more about life than i did before. he taught me lessons that i didn't fully understand until he was gone. even 4 years later, i'm still learning from him. and for that, spencer is one of the greatest people i'll ever know..
i still miss spencer o'brien.
Well an old man said to me
In a voice filled with pain
Where you going young man
Said I'm going to fight a war
Gonna fight for my country
In some foreign land
He said "The sun will never hurt you
Never harmed anyone
But you must realize"
If you try to stare her down
She will win in the end
She will burn your eyes
She will burn them
Seen a million places
Seen a million faces die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get to Heaven
He said "Boy I was young once
Yeah I was tough
Sailing on Uncle Sam's boat
Hey I could kill the enemy
I could die on foreign streets
But I could not vote
But now you walk by me
You won't talk to me
Say this is my fate
But every time you walk the streets boy
Most of them you meet
You see it's you they hate
It's you...
Seen a million faces
Seen a million places die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get to Heaven
I hope I get there
Seen a million places
Seen a million faces die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get there
See this woman sitting next to me
She's been there for a long, long time
And when I fell, she picked me up
When I cried, she wiped my tears
I thank God she's mine
And when I leave this world
She won't have anything
But her love for me
'Cause the man took everything else
Made me hate myself
So just let her be boy
Won't you let her be
hootie and the blowfish have a special sentimental meaning for me. everytime i hear a hootie song, a memory flashes that is both painful and joyful. i think that's why they are one of my favorite bands. that may sound weird, but hear me out:
i knew a kid once named spencer. spence to those close to him. i'm pretty sure i was introduced to him through his cousin--and one of my best friends--sartori. spence wasn't a normal kid. he had learning disabilities and the like. but he was strong and excellent at sports, so he had his niche. he was also one of the nicest people could have ever met in all your lifetimes.
some of us used to hang out at the sartori cabin on long lake north of nashwauk. we would go out in the paddle boat or swim near the floating dock or sauna or shoot off illegal fireworks. in the yesterdays before alcohol and drugs, that was our ultimate. the best times you could have.
hootie's got a song "the old man and me." me and spencer liked that song. my fondest memory of spence is us sitting at the sartori cabin with spence singing made up lyrics to song that involve him, me and landing some babes. that was spence. that was the way we all liked him.
he went in for some routine dental surgery, and i never saw him again. an allergic reaction to the anestethic sent him into a coma that he never recovered from. i don't think he had his driver's license yet, even.
this was the first time a person my age that i actually knew had shed his mortal coil and met whatever God pleased him. it was rough to understand why such a thing would happen. but that's life. no explanation, just the consequences. his passing made me face some unplesant thoughts about God, the afterlife, the worthiness of life. all in all, i understood a lot more about life than i did before. he taught me lessons that i didn't fully understand until he was gone. even 4 years later, i'm still learning from him. and for that, spencer is one of the greatest people i'll ever know..
i still miss spencer o'brien.
Well an old man said to me
In a voice filled with pain
Where you going young man
Said I'm going to fight a war
Gonna fight for my country
In some foreign land
He said "The sun will never hurt you
Never harmed anyone
But you must realize"
If you try to stare her down
She will win in the end
She will burn your eyes
She will burn them
Seen a million places
Seen a million faces die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get to Heaven
He said "Boy I was young once
Yeah I was tough
Sailing on Uncle Sam's boat
Hey I could kill the enemy
I could die on foreign streets
But I could not vote
But now you walk by me
You won't talk to me
Say this is my fate
But every time you walk the streets boy
Most of them you meet
You see it's you they hate
It's you...
Seen a million faces
Seen a million places die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get to Heaven
I hope I get there
Seen a million places
Seen a million faces die
And I wonder who will walk with me
When I get there
See this woman sitting next to me
She's been there for a long, long time
And when I fell, she picked me up
When I cried, she wiped my tears
I thank God she's mine
And when I leave this world
She won't have anything
But her love for me
'Cause the man took everything else
Made me hate myself
So just let her be boy
Won't you let her be
5.22.2003
nocturnal
i have my dinner when others are having breakfast.
i have breakfast at about the same time senior citizens are rocking out the dinner at their favorite diners.
i go to diners when i have the money
i'll have the money tomorrow when i get paid
but then i have to pay car insurance, get an oil change, buy a plane ticket and not to mention food.
cuz all i have left right now is the tuna and noodles that carla gave me.
but i'm not complaining, things could be worse.
but at least i don't have be like this guy during his explanation to his kids.
i've moved for the summer. now in the other house of tke. not happy about that, but don't really have much of a choice. i have no where else to live. so i'm staying in room 69, dude. and sleeping on the futon a bit. ok, all the time.
la la la.
sometimes it takes me 5 minutes to write a post.
other times, it takes me 5 minutes just to write a sentence.
then i forget my train of thought and i go off on a tangent that really didn't have anything to do with my previous thought except by the still yet unexplainable machinations of my mind.
there's no reason to panic dallas. the team that has one game won of the western conf finals has one the last 16 years. and that's you, dudes. since my boys in minny soda have abandoned me, i'm jumping on your bandwagon. so don't fail me now!
i liked my quad bathroom because it was so much better for doing private things. the bathrooms in the big house have too much open to general public. and some things you just don't want out in the open. know what i'm saying?
i have my dinner when others are having breakfast.
i have breakfast at about the same time senior citizens are rocking out the dinner at their favorite diners.
i go to diners when i have the money
i'll have the money tomorrow when i get paid
but then i have to pay car insurance, get an oil change, buy a plane ticket and not to mention food.
cuz all i have left right now is the tuna and noodles that carla gave me.
but i'm not complaining, things could be worse.
but at least i don't have be like this guy during his explanation to his kids.
i've moved for the summer. now in the other house of tke. not happy about that, but don't really have much of a choice. i have no where else to live. so i'm staying in room 69, dude. and sleeping on the futon a bit. ok, all the time.
la la la.
sometimes it takes me 5 minutes to write a post.
other times, it takes me 5 minutes just to write a sentence.
then i forget my train of thought and i go off on a tangent that really didn't have anything to do with my previous thought except by the still yet unexplainable machinations of my mind.
there's no reason to panic dallas. the team that has one game won of the western conf finals has one the last 16 years. and that's you, dudes. since my boys in minny soda have abandoned me, i'm jumping on your bandwagon. so don't fail me now!
i liked my quad bathroom because it was so much better for doing private things. the bathrooms in the big house have too much open to general public. and some things you just don't want out in the open. know what i'm saying?
5.21.2003
babbling
if the remainder in an unbalanced equation is causing a system crash when it grows too large, i think there are two options:
which each new iteration of the system, slow the growth rate down of the remainder so the stability of the system lasts for a longer time.
or make the system's point of no return larger, so the anamonaly has to grow to a larger size before it causes the system failure.
i would choose option one. the system doesn't necessarily become more stable, it just survives longer at it's current stability and it would be a known quantity to deal with.
the other option, i think, would cause progressively larger and larger crashes that would cause the system to take longer to recover, if at all.
which is why i don't understand why the architect of the matrix didn't go with the first option. he could have created a known anomaly that would be easy to control. and maybe he did do that, and neo really is that powerful. for some odd reason, he has the gift that the other ones didn't, and now he can really stop the matrix. i don't like that option. it doesn't sit well with me. not cool enough. being the messiah for the hell of it is boring.
what does settle nicely in my warped little brain is that the architect chose the second way. each matrix is better and stronger than the last version, but so is the anomaly. but the architect doesn't care. he said he has certain levels of sruvival he is comfortable with. i think he is a messed up guy that is curious to see what can happen. he's been waiting all this time since the first one appeared to meet an anomaly that would actually sacrifice all of mankind and choose the left door. he wanted to push the envelope of the matrix as far as it would go. which, i think, is why he doesn't really care what the oracle, the merovingian, smith or all the exiles are doing. the architect wants an armaggedon in the matrix. he's a bit off kelter and he's a curious scientist. he wants to see what solutions this "remainder" will bring to the system equations--even if it is a meltdown.
either way neo is going to fuck shit up.
i would joke that carla gave me allergies and i'm sneezing and rubbing my eyes because of her.
she's left and the suffering has only gotten worse.
either it's not her, or she sloughed off some skin cells and put them in my stuff :)
whatever it is, i miss her.
tiger woods pro tour 2003 is the biz-omb.
olive oil, basil, garlic, black pepper.
if the remainder in an unbalanced equation is causing a system crash when it grows too large, i think there are two options:
which each new iteration of the system, slow the growth rate down of the remainder so the stability of the system lasts for a longer time.
or make the system's point of no return larger, so the anamonaly has to grow to a larger size before it causes the system failure.
i would choose option one. the system doesn't necessarily become more stable, it just survives longer at it's current stability and it would be a known quantity to deal with.
the other option, i think, would cause progressively larger and larger crashes that would cause the system to take longer to recover, if at all.
which is why i don't understand why the architect of the matrix didn't go with the first option. he could have created a known anomaly that would be easy to control. and maybe he did do that, and neo really is that powerful. for some odd reason, he has the gift that the other ones didn't, and now he can really stop the matrix. i don't like that option. it doesn't sit well with me. not cool enough. being the messiah for the hell of it is boring.
what does settle nicely in my warped little brain is that the architect chose the second way. each matrix is better and stronger than the last version, but so is the anomaly. but the architect doesn't care. he said he has certain levels of sruvival he is comfortable with. i think he is a messed up guy that is curious to see what can happen. he's been waiting all this time since the first one appeared to meet an anomaly that would actually sacrifice all of mankind and choose the left door. he wanted to push the envelope of the matrix as far as it would go. which, i think, is why he doesn't really care what the oracle, the merovingian, smith or all the exiles are doing. the architect wants an armaggedon in the matrix. he's a bit off kelter and he's a curious scientist. he wants to see what solutions this "remainder" will bring to the system equations--even if it is a meltdown.
either way neo is going to fuck shit up.
i would joke that carla gave me allergies and i'm sneezing and rubbing my eyes because of her.
she's left and the suffering has only gotten worse.
either it's not her, or she sloughed off some skin cells and put them in my stuff :)
whatever it is, i miss her.
tiger woods pro tour 2003 is the biz-omb.
olive oil, basil, garlic, black pepper.
5.20.2003
small mammals
when i was roughly 28% of my current age, there existed a grocery store in hibbing called the red owl. sadly, it no longer exists. it has been replaced by the regional chain of super one. also sadly, that is the only viable store left in the mesabi mall. which is an even sadder comment on the economic situation of northern minnesota, but let's talk happy talk.
they used to have boxes to put your groceries in. cardboard boxes that you had to take from the shelf under the conveyor belt. boxes that you had to form yourself. boxes that you got to take with you--which was the best part.
boxes have many uses. after losing the innocence of childhood, most people think boxes are only good for storing stuff or carrying stuff around or returning empties you find in the neighbor's dumpster for another bottle of colt 45. when you're a kid, boxes canstore stuff. but more than that, boxes are--by far--the best free toy. and with the boxes coming from the grocery store--which most people shop almost as regularly as the adult entertainment shops--you were not worried about ruining your boxes. boxes were disposable and easily replaced. you just had to wait a couple days before you had a new adventure. ala calvin and hobbes, you could make it a time machine, a duplicator, a transmogifier or a cat prison.
as a sadistic 6 yr old that was just beginning to understand his divine right to subjugate all lesser life forms, the cat prison was always my favorite. you drop the box down over the frisky feline, and you have a good hour of entertainment. sticking your fingers through the handle holes trying not to get swatted was the most fun game. if you lost and the domestic lion drew blood, you could always exact your revenge by shaking the box really hard and scaring the bejesus out of the stupid animal. this led to the second cool subgame of the cat prison experience. what does the cat do when you let it out? usually one of two things happened. one, it would just sit there, looking around, making sure that you were really letting it out. the kitty would cock its head at you giving you a blank look (only now do i realize it was contemplating pouncing on your feet and leaving several large gashes while you slept that night), and plop down grooming itself or going to sleep. or, the preferred option, it would run faster than you have ever seen a mammal move, and--when it rounded the corner to the kitchen--it would slide on the tile and smack into the cabinets. highest of high comedy.
when i was roughly 28% of my current age, there existed a grocery store in hibbing called the red owl. sadly, it no longer exists. it has been replaced by the regional chain of super one. also sadly, that is the only viable store left in the mesabi mall. which is an even sadder comment on the economic situation of northern minnesota, but let's talk happy talk.
they used to have boxes to put your groceries in. cardboard boxes that you had to take from the shelf under the conveyor belt. boxes that you had to form yourself. boxes that you got to take with you--which was the best part.
boxes have many uses. after losing the innocence of childhood, most people think boxes are only good for storing stuff or carrying stuff around or returning empties you find in the neighbor's dumpster for another bottle of colt 45. when you're a kid, boxes canstore stuff. but more than that, boxes are--by far--the best free toy. and with the boxes coming from the grocery store--which most people shop almost as regularly as the adult entertainment shops--you were not worried about ruining your boxes. boxes were disposable and easily replaced. you just had to wait a couple days before you had a new adventure. ala calvin and hobbes, you could make it a time machine, a duplicator, a transmogifier or a cat prison.
as a sadistic 6 yr old that was just beginning to understand his divine right to subjugate all lesser life forms, the cat prison was always my favorite. you drop the box down over the frisky feline, and you have a good hour of entertainment. sticking your fingers through the handle holes trying not to get swatted was the most fun game. if you lost and the domestic lion drew blood, you could always exact your revenge by shaking the box really hard and scaring the bejesus out of the stupid animal. this led to the second cool subgame of the cat prison experience. what does the cat do when you let it out? usually one of two things happened. one, it would just sit there, looking around, making sure that you were really letting it out. the kitty would cock its head at you giving you a blank look (only now do i realize it was contemplating pouncing on your feet and leaving several large gashes while you slept that night), and plop down grooming itself or going to sleep. or, the preferred option, it would run faster than you have ever seen a mammal move, and--when it rounded the corner to the kitchen--it would slide on the tile and smack into the cabinets. highest of high comedy.
5.19.2003
monday, monday
dropped the girlfriend off at the airport today. she is headed back to oregon for a couple weeks. i'm going to be all alone for awhile. yes, the boys will make me do stupid, fun things, but they don't look good in a bikini.
the whole matrix philosophy is going hardcore, so here is my take on it.
the machines will not destroy zion. they needed neo to choose to destroy it on his own because of isaac asimov and his three laws of robotics:
1. a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first Law.
3. a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second Law.
humans would have known this and built the machines with this programming. so the drilling to zion is a total bluff.
but all those people died in the attack. i think that they all died due to actions taken by the human smith.
remember, they didn't kill neo when he came out of the breeding pod, nor did they kill anyone else that did. if the robots really hated humans they would have just killed them then, blah, blah, the one is built in to the program. blah blah blah, you don't need to wake him up to let him fuck shit up. i think the machines need humans to keep humans down. interesting. not thought out entirely, many logic holes, but a beginning that will do.
81 hours
dropped the girlfriend off at the airport today. she is headed back to oregon for a couple weeks. i'm going to be all alone for awhile. yes, the boys will make me do stupid, fun things, but they don't look good in a bikini.
the whole matrix philosophy is going hardcore, so here is my take on it.
the machines will not destroy zion. they needed neo to choose to destroy it on his own because of isaac asimov and his three laws of robotics:
1. a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. a robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the first Law.
3. a robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second Law.
humans would have known this and built the machines with this programming. so the drilling to zion is a total bluff.
but all those people died in the attack. i think that they all died due to actions taken by the human smith.
remember, they didn't kill neo when he came out of the breeding pod, nor did they kill anyone else that did. if the robots really hated humans they would have just killed them then, blah, blah, the one is built in to the program. blah blah blah, you don't need to wake him up to let him fuck shit up. i think the machines need humans to keep humans down. interesting. not thought out entirely, many logic holes, but a beginning that will do.
81 hours
5.17.2003
burned into my memory
i saw the matrix: reloaded today.
i approve.
i won't wax enthusiastic about the effects, the philosophy, or how i'm pissed about having to wait 6 months to see the finale.
but i will tell you about what i don't approve of.
there is a sex scene with neo and trinity when they are in the city of zion. what distrubs me and will haunt my dreams for my entire life is this:
keanu reeve's orgasm face.
i saw the matrix: reloaded today.
i approve.
i won't wax enthusiastic about the effects, the philosophy, or how i'm pissed about having to wait 6 months to see the finale.
but i will tell you about what i don't approve of.
there is a sex scene with neo and trinity when they are in the city of zion. what distrubs me and will haunt my dreams for my entire life is this:
keanu reeve's orgasm face.
working overnights
i'm getting used to the sleeping all day, waking up at 3, then staying up all night til about 7am.
we'll see how long it lasts.
tried to fall asleep yesterday morning on the blue couch.
the fan was blowing on me. the porch door was cracked letting a cool breeze waft in. i had my pajama pants on. i closed my eyes letting the soft noises of sportscenter wash over me.
then i felt a presence. an evil presence.
i cautiously opened my eyes and saw him standing there--staring at me.
our gazes met and he was unflinching. i knew one of us had to make a move.
i struck first.
i snapped my fingers and the fiend twitched his bushy tail and scampered out the door.
i hate that squirrel.
i've walked to work a couple times this week for the exercise and because my car doesn't work properly right now.
on the way i walk past bell pond.
on the return trip in the early morning light, i saw something out in the pond that i didn't expect.
hello turtle.
he blinked at me and sank beneath the water.
i followed him down with my gaze and was pleasantly surprised to see the pond had life.
i saw a school of fish hanging out--probably wondering what the turtle was doing swimming by them. i saw a log that looked kind of like richard nixon's profile. there were little piles of rock that looked like they were built and not just created by nature. i was opened up to an entire new world.
i guess the lesson is that there's always something more beneath the surface that you didn't even know existed.
i'm getting used to the sleeping all day, waking up at 3, then staying up all night til about 7am.
we'll see how long it lasts.
tried to fall asleep yesterday morning on the blue couch.
the fan was blowing on me. the porch door was cracked letting a cool breeze waft in. i had my pajama pants on. i closed my eyes letting the soft noises of sportscenter wash over me.
then i felt a presence. an evil presence.
i cautiously opened my eyes and saw him standing there--staring at me.
our gazes met and he was unflinching. i knew one of us had to make a move.
i struck first.
i snapped my fingers and the fiend twitched his bushy tail and scampered out the door.
i hate that squirrel.
i've walked to work a couple times this week for the exercise and because my car doesn't work properly right now.
on the way i walk past bell pond.
on the return trip in the early morning light, i saw something out in the pond that i didn't expect.
hello turtle.
he blinked at me and sank beneath the water.
i followed him down with my gaze and was pleasantly surprised to see the pond had life.
i saw a school of fish hanging out--probably wondering what the turtle was doing swimming by them. i saw a log that looked kind of like richard nixon's profile. there were little piles of rock that looked like they were built and not just created by nature. i was opened up to an entire new world.
i guess the lesson is that there's always something more beneath the surface that you didn't even know existed.
5.14.2003
the greatest mom in the world
my mom reads this.
which means she reads stuff that i normally wouldn't tell her in casual conversation.
like that one night stand last summer with the thai midget.
haha. i'm joking.
she was burmese.
but sometimes you talk about how one of your favorite candy bars isn't available where you now live.
and sometimes you get a package from your mom and it's filled with your favorite candy bars.
(and kleenex, she reads all the posts)
and sometimes you just have to say, "i love you, mom."
my mom reads this.
which means she reads stuff that i normally wouldn't tell her in casual conversation.
like that one night stand last summer with the thai midget.
haha. i'm joking.
she was burmese.
but sometimes you talk about how one of your favorite candy bars isn't available where you now live.
and sometimes you get a package from your mom and it's filled with your favorite candy bars.
(and kleenex, she reads all the posts)
and sometimes you just have to say, "i love you, mom."
5.13.2003
i call bullshit
the litigousness (sp?) of our society is making me wish more for a vigilante form of justice.
no matter how unhealthy oreos are, this lawsuit will not stop me from devouring them.
the litigousness (sp?) of our society is making me wish more for a vigilante form of justice.
no matter how unhealthy oreos are, this lawsuit will not stop me from devouring them.
5.12.2003
job
ever take a nap and wake up feeling more shitty than before you took the nap?
i hate that.
i can't even remember my own name right now.
they walked, talked, neither noticing where they went. they waved their arms and interrupted each other. the wide streets of worcester were quiet in the winter night. each streetlight made a pool of orange, across which snow flurried like schools of tiny fish, chasing their collective shadows. The wind came bitter cold behind the snow. numbed lips and chattering teeth soon interfered with conversation. but, even with their lack of navigation, they had arrived at their destination: the 24 hour dunkin donuts.
ever take a nap and wake up feeling more shitty than before you took the nap?
i hate that.
i can't even remember my own name right now.
they walked, talked, neither noticing where they went. they waved their arms and interrupted each other. the wide streets of worcester were quiet in the winter night. each streetlight made a pool of orange, across which snow flurried like schools of tiny fish, chasing their collective shadows. The wind came bitter cold behind the snow. numbed lips and chattering teeth soon interfered with conversation. but, even with their lack of navigation, they had arrived at their destination: the 24 hour dunkin donuts.
5.11.2003
mother's day
say, reger, why do you plug your nose when you're about to sneeze? do you realize that you'll blow out your eardrums if you continue to do that?
i am well aware of the permanenment physical damage that i may cause myself everytime that i plug the ol' schnoz when the snot rockets are ready for takeoff. but to uncover my reasoning, we need to go back to the 7th grade and the most embarassing moment of my life.
in 7th grade, everyone had to take home ec. the school board thought it would be good for us to learn cooking and sewing as 13 year olds. so that is how i came to know the wonderful ms anita forte. one of my favorite teachers from junior high. she drove a sports car. that was cool when you were 13. well one day, ms forte was giving us a lecture on the safety rules for handling a hot oven and things of that nature.
information that you should know for this story is that i had allergies as a kid. my nose was constantly stuffed, running or both. dust mites were my anathema. and to let you know, dust mites are every-Goddamn-where. so there was no escaping the sniffling. the snot army was as relentless as it was ruthless.
my mom made me carry kleenex with me everywhere. i, of course, would never keep it on me. i was 13. no kid is going to listen to their mom if they tell them to carry kleenex with you.
my mom is the smartest woman alive, and i didn't listen.
so as i sit there in the back of the room watching ms forte write on the chalkboard about how to keep the handle of the frying pan turned to the side, i sneezed.
a monster of a sneeze.
67 gallons of snot came flying out of my nose at mach 6.
someone said the obligatory "bless you," but no one paid attention to me. until chris pierce (who i helped cheat through 8th grade health so he wouldn't fail the year, so he's not to blame here, i forgave him long ago. he's just a bit part--but back to me) turned and saw me trying to be smooth about wiping 674 quarts of boogers off my shirt, hands and pants.
"OH MY GOD, you have snot everywhere!"
this makes the class turn--because like train wrecks and tits, you just have to see for yourself--and laugh at me.
i was mortified.
and it didn't help when ms forte goes, "kids, that's nothing to laugh about. mr reger, why don't you go the bathroom and get some paper towels or something."
i just wanted to leave the school that day and run til my worries were far behind and everyone would forget about the kid that snotted all over himself.
but i was too good of a kid to skip class (at that age, anyway...).
i cleaned up and went back and sat the rest of class in embarassed silence, unwilling to take to anyone. it was the longest 25 minutes of my life.
i don't know if anyone there even remembers that anymore, but it is one of my most vibrant memories. right up there with the first kiss and first taste of sweet, sweet alcohol.
and that's why i don't allow myself to sneeze properly. even if i don't get my hand on my nose, i hold it back as much as i can. and after a decade of holding back the ah-choos, i don't even think i could sneeze properly anymore.
i am damaged goods.
i'm completely fuxored for life.
until the day i shit my pants in front of the pope.
say, reger, why do you plug your nose when you're about to sneeze? do you realize that you'll blow out your eardrums if you continue to do that?
i am well aware of the permanenment physical damage that i may cause myself everytime that i plug the ol' schnoz when the snot rockets are ready for takeoff. but to uncover my reasoning, we need to go back to the 7th grade and the most embarassing moment of my life.
in 7th grade, everyone had to take home ec. the school board thought it would be good for us to learn cooking and sewing as 13 year olds. so that is how i came to know the wonderful ms anita forte. one of my favorite teachers from junior high. she drove a sports car. that was cool when you were 13. well one day, ms forte was giving us a lecture on the safety rules for handling a hot oven and things of that nature.
information that you should know for this story is that i had allergies as a kid. my nose was constantly stuffed, running or both. dust mites were my anathema. and to let you know, dust mites are every-Goddamn-where. so there was no escaping the sniffling. the snot army was as relentless as it was ruthless.
my mom made me carry kleenex with me everywhere. i, of course, would never keep it on me. i was 13. no kid is going to listen to their mom if they tell them to carry kleenex with you.
my mom is the smartest woman alive, and i didn't listen.
so as i sit there in the back of the room watching ms forte write on the chalkboard about how to keep the handle of the frying pan turned to the side, i sneezed.
a monster of a sneeze.
67 gallons of snot came flying out of my nose at mach 6.
someone said the obligatory "bless you," but no one paid attention to me. until chris pierce (who i helped cheat through 8th grade health so he wouldn't fail the year, so he's not to blame here, i forgave him long ago. he's just a bit part--but back to me) turned and saw me trying to be smooth about wiping 674 quarts of boogers off my shirt, hands and pants.
"OH MY GOD, you have snot everywhere!"
this makes the class turn--because like train wrecks and tits, you just have to see for yourself--and laugh at me.
i was mortified.
and it didn't help when ms forte goes, "kids, that's nothing to laugh about. mr reger, why don't you go the bathroom and get some paper towels or something."
i just wanted to leave the school that day and run til my worries were far behind and everyone would forget about the kid that snotted all over himself.
but i was too good of a kid to skip class (at that age, anyway...).
i cleaned up and went back and sat the rest of class in embarassed silence, unwilling to take to anyone. it was the longest 25 minutes of my life.
i don't know if anyone there even remembers that anymore, but it is one of my most vibrant memories. right up there with the first kiss and first taste of sweet, sweet alcohol.
and that's why i don't allow myself to sneeze properly. even if i don't get my hand on my nose, i hold it back as much as i can. and after a decade of holding back the ah-choos, i don't even think i could sneeze properly anymore.
i am damaged goods.
i'm completely fuxored for life.
until the day i shit my pants in front of the pope.
5.09.2003
metaphors and such
while watching sportscenter this morning, i was informed that the owner of the nba expansion team in charolette said that too old to play michael jordan could come and be the executive president or some position of that nature.
his reasoning: "it's like having the greatest chef in the world and not letting him into the kitchen."
i have a problem with that sports team simile.
the players are not the chefs. the coaches are the chefs. the sous chefs are the asst coaches. the owner of the restaurant and management is like the executives and general manager and owner.
the players are the food.
and michael jordan is past his expiration date.
so what the guy really should have said was, "it's like having the greatest cheese in the world that's gone moldy and not letting him into the kitchen."
which sounds ridiculous.
you don't let food cook.
for one, they don't have opposable thumbs.
and they would have to be pretty sadistic food to cut up and cook their own kind.
i don't want that kind of psychopath in the kitchen of any restaurant
so if you're going to make analogies between restaurants and sports teams, please make sure to make one that makes sense.
i still will not jinx them by saying anything about their future performance. but i can comment on past games. like last night's game 7 that was oh so saweet.
sexy ladies want par with us
in a car with us
them nah war with us
in a club them want flew with us
to get next to us
them cah vex with us
from the day we born jah ignite me flame
gal a call me name and it is me fame
it's all good girl turn me on
'til the early morn'
let's get it on
let's get it on 'til the early morn'
girl it's all just turn me on
while watching sportscenter this morning, i was informed that the owner of the nba expansion team in charolette said that too old to play michael jordan could come and be the executive president or some position of that nature.
his reasoning: "it's like having the greatest chef in the world and not letting him into the kitchen."
i have a problem with that sports team simile.
the players are not the chefs. the coaches are the chefs. the sous chefs are the asst coaches. the owner of the restaurant and management is like the executives and general manager and owner.
the players are the food.
and michael jordan is past his expiration date.
so what the guy really should have said was, "it's like having the greatest cheese in the world that's gone moldy and not letting him into the kitchen."
which sounds ridiculous.
you don't let food cook.
for one, they don't have opposable thumbs.
and they would have to be pretty sadistic food to cut up and cook their own kind.
i don't want that kind of psychopath in the kitchen of any restaurant
so if you're going to make analogies between restaurants and sports teams, please make sure to make one that makes sense.
i still will not jinx them by saying anything about their future performance. but i can comment on past games. like last night's game 7 that was oh so saweet.
sexy ladies want par with us
in a car with us
them nah war with us
in a club them want flew with us
to get next to us
them cah vex with us
from the day we born jah ignite me flame
gal a call me name and it is me fame
it's all good girl turn me on
'til the early morn'
let's get it on
let's get it on 'til the early morn'
girl it's all just turn me on
5.08.2003
hello dear,
i'm sorry i became curt with you last night. i was a jerk. i let little things bother me, and i shouldn't let that happen.
i am a small and petty man.
you are intelligent, beautiful, blonde and six feet tall.
i am not worthy of the love you give me. i am dirt. i am infertile dirt. i can not even grow a weed.
and yet, all i want is to be with you and be happy in the knowledge that you love me.
please let me love you.
it's the only thing i am worthy of asking you to do for me.
in the name of all stupid men everywhere, i plead being a moron, and i hope i can someday make up my terrible indiscretion towards you.
love,
me
i'm sorry i became curt with you last night. i was a jerk. i let little things bother me, and i shouldn't let that happen.
i am a small and petty man.
you are intelligent, beautiful, blonde and six feet tall.
i am not worthy of the love you give me. i am dirt. i am infertile dirt. i can not even grow a weed.
and yet, all i want is to be with you and be happy in the knowledge that you love me.
please let me love you.
it's the only thing i am worthy of asking you to do for me.
in the name of all stupid men everywhere, i plead being a moron, and i hope i can someday make up my terrible indiscretion towards you.
love,
me
define the parameters
the only adjective named team in the national hockey league sidestepped elimination for the fifth time last night.
i will not jinx my boys on ice by saying anything about the game tonight.
the stakes are too high.
playoff hockey has been gone from hockey state for too long.
when the north stars went to dallas (dallas! hockey in texas!) i was upset, but not angry.
when they started winning cups, i was angry.
but now it's the wild still playing, and the stars were sent home by the ducks--a team named after a disney movie.
i do not blame the trees for making pollen and trying to continue that wonderful dance that is life.
i do not blame my sinuses for clogging up and making my head weigh another seventy pounds.
i do not blame my eyes for itching to the point that i wanted to scratch them out of my head.
what i do blame is C5H9N3--commonly known as histamine.
all kinds of stuff can cause allergic reactions. pollen, food, insect bites, the play of the mets, all of these can cause things to happen in our body.
so when the body gets some stuff in it that it doesn't like, it wants to kick it out faster than you booted that $2 crack ho that tried to crash your daughter's high school graduation party.
your body lets it's bouncers of the cell world out in mass. antibodies. going to kick some ass. but sometimes they get a bit overzealous and send about 37,000,000 antibodies to take out maybe 2 or 3 allergens that are just loitering in front of your bodies 7-11 slipping on slurpies even though the clerk has repeatedly told them "no loitering! i call cops! you go now! sign say no loitering!"
so if you got all these bad asses kicking the crap out of the allergens, there are some side effects being produced. not drowsiness or decreased judgement or perceived better social skills--that's alcohol. no, when our body is throwin' down on allergens, we make histamine.
and histamine sucks.
the only adjective named team in the national hockey league sidestepped elimination for the fifth time last night.
i will not jinx my boys on ice by saying anything about the game tonight.
the stakes are too high.
playoff hockey has been gone from hockey state for too long.
when the north stars went to dallas (dallas! hockey in texas!) i was upset, but not angry.
when they started winning cups, i was angry.
but now it's the wild still playing, and the stars were sent home by the ducks--a team named after a disney movie.
i do not blame the trees for making pollen and trying to continue that wonderful dance that is life.
i do not blame my sinuses for clogging up and making my head weigh another seventy pounds.
i do not blame my eyes for itching to the point that i wanted to scratch them out of my head.
what i do blame is C5H9N3--commonly known as histamine.
all kinds of stuff can cause allergic reactions. pollen, food, insect bites, the play of the mets, all of these can cause things to happen in our body.
so when the body gets some stuff in it that it doesn't like, it wants to kick it out faster than you booted that $2 crack ho that tried to crash your daughter's high school graduation party.
your body lets it's bouncers of the cell world out in mass. antibodies. going to kick some ass. but sometimes they get a bit overzealous and send about 37,000,000 antibodies to take out maybe 2 or 3 allergens that are just loitering in front of your bodies 7-11 slipping on slurpies even though the clerk has repeatedly told them "no loitering! i call cops! you go now! sign say no loitering!"
so if you got all these bad asses kicking the crap out of the allergens, there are some side effects being produced. not drowsiness or decreased judgement or perceived better social skills--that's alcohol. no, when our body is throwin' down on allergens, we make histamine.
and histamine sucks.
5.07.2003
5.06.2003
whoa
the purpose of the supposed inkling was to get a vaguely familiar idea about the feeling involving the epiphany.
it didn't work.
i am glad the government spends money on worthwhile endeavors.
i have a plan. a plan that was hatched roughly 4 days ago. it will involve things. and stuff. the plan should be taking place within the month if everything goes to plan (read: if i don't get lazy). how successful the plan will be is going to be determined by outside parties. but be aware that a plan exists and it may be implemented
in a couple years, the show smallville is going to have a problem. all the characters are going off to college. the easy remedy is to have clark kent and his friends go to metropolis university and all live together.
but what do they study?
chloe should study journalism, lana will want to study business, and who really cares what pete wants to study.
the real question is what does superman get a degree in?
yeah, yeah, he ends up being a journalist for the planet, blah, blah, blah.
but i think that's because he failed out of his first love--geology. see he studies earth sciences so he can find out about kryptonite and all that jazz. but he ends up failing the classes because he's always saving the world, lana, lex--what have you. but he passes all his journalism minor classes cuz chloe makes him and lana is taking them for the fuck of it.
so therefore, clark kent works for the daily planet because he failed out of metropolis u's geology department.
the purpose of the supposed inkling was to get a vaguely familiar idea about the feeling involving the epiphany.
it didn't work.
i am glad the government spends money on worthwhile endeavors.
i have a plan. a plan that was hatched roughly 4 days ago. it will involve things. and stuff. the plan should be taking place within the month if everything goes to plan (read: if i don't get lazy). how successful the plan will be is going to be determined by outside parties. but be aware that a plan exists and it may be implemented
in a couple years, the show smallville is going to have a problem. all the characters are going off to college. the easy remedy is to have clark kent and his friends go to metropolis university and all live together.
but what do they study?
chloe should study journalism, lana will want to study business, and who really cares what pete wants to study.
the real question is what does superman get a degree in?
yeah, yeah, he ends up being a journalist for the planet, blah, blah, blah.
but i think that's because he failed out of his first love--geology. see he studies earth sciences so he can find out about kryptonite and all that jazz. but he ends up failing the classes because he's always saving the world, lana, lex--what have you. but he passes all his journalism minor classes cuz chloe makes him and lana is taking them for the fuck of it.
so therefore, clark kent works for the daily planet because he failed out of metropolis u's geology department.
yadda yadda yadda
is there a more satisfying feeling then being able to say to your roommates "good afternoon" when you roll out of bed?
i think not.
it bothers me that it is more socially acceptable for under 21 people to drink (which is illegal in the u.s.) than it is for a bunch of 21 year olds to drink with a 40 something year old.
i would love to spend some time partying with some middle age people.
sir charles barkley, john stewart, bruce campbell, bill clinton, the basketball jesus, the list goes on and on.
i just lost my train of thou--oh, we're back on track.
i will not be condemned for liking the taste of chunky peanut butter and gulden's spicy mustard together.
it's delicious.
makes one of the best sandwiches known to man. and i will not be ostracized for my subjective--subjective--taste buds.
i'm glad to see that saddam won't have any trouble buying shit while in hiding.
this is really going to hurt my travel plans to beijing for the 2008 olympics.
the lakers are going to lose.
a cracked soup bowl is still a good salad bowl
is there a more satisfying feeling then being able to say to your roommates "good afternoon" when you roll out of bed?
i think not.
it bothers me that it is more socially acceptable for under 21 people to drink (which is illegal in the u.s.) than it is for a bunch of 21 year olds to drink with a 40 something year old.
i would love to spend some time partying with some middle age people.
sir charles barkley, john stewart, bruce campbell, bill clinton, the basketball jesus, the list goes on and on.
i just lost my train of thou--oh, we're back on track.
i will not be condemned for liking the taste of chunky peanut butter and gulden's spicy mustard together.
it's delicious.
makes one of the best sandwiches known to man. and i will not be ostracized for my subjective--subjective--taste buds.
i'm glad to see that saddam won't have any trouble buying shit while in hiding.
this is really going to hurt my travel plans to beijing for the 2008 olympics.
the lakers are going to lose.
a cracked soup bowl is still a good salad bowl
5.05.2003
is this.. is this a week day?
no job
no school
no responsibilities
no desire to find job (yet)
the only thing that keeps me going is def jam vendetta.
saw the samurai exhibit at the WAM on friday. they spent a lot of time talking about the 47 ronin that avenged their master and committed seppuku.
i think my girlfriend fakes being sick so i am forced to take care of her ;)
i'm in so much trouble.
lesson from the weekend:
payday candy bars are no substitute for a pearson's salted nut roll. i am craving a nut roll like no other, and i have yet to have seen one in new england in the last four years.
so i say this with the strongest conviction: i will not spend the rest of my life in a state that does not sell pearson's salted nut rolls.
the reason we can't find weapons of mass destruction are because they hid them really, really well!
the reason why bank account is so low is because i hid the money really, really well!
if we just talk to the iraqis, they will tell us where the wmd are.
if i just talk to the bank, they will tell me where the money is.
show me the wmd
show me the money
show me the money
show me the money
i take consumer opinion surveys online. one for synovate, one for harris poll.
i like harris poll because they give me points for taking surveys that i can cash in for stuff. i'm holding out for the meal maker express contact grill. i am getting close to the points needed, and they won't sway me with their gaudy smaller prizes. oh no. i am resolute.
synovate is cool cuz sometimes they send me free stuff in the mail to try out and test for them. they introduced me to the axe effect before anyone else knew of that ka-raa-zy stuff.
the laundry won't do itself!
no job
no school
no responsibilities
no desire to find job (yet)
the only thing that keeps me going is def jam vendetta.
saw the samurai exhibit at the WAM on friday. they spent a lot of time talking about the 47 ronin that avenged their master and committed seppuku.
i think my girlfriend fakes being sick so i am forced to take care of her ;)
i'm in so much trouble.
lesson from the weekend:
payday candy bars are no substitute for a pearson's salted nut roll. i am craving a nut roll like no other, and i have yet to have seen one in new england in the last four years.
so i say this with the strongest conviction: i will not spend the rest of my life in a state that does not sell pearson's salted nut rolls.
the reason we can't find weapons of mass destruction are because they hid them really, really well!
the reason why bank account is so low is because i hid the money really, really well!
if we just talk to the iraqis, they will tell us where the wmd are.
if i just talk to the bank, they will tell me where the money is.
show me the wmd
show me the money
show me the money
show me the money
i take consumer opinion surveys online. one for synovate, one for harris poll.
i like harris poll because they give me points for taking surveys that i can cash in for stuff. i'm holding out for the meal maker express contact grill. i am getting close to the points needed, and they won't sway me with their gaudy smaller prizes. oh no. i am resolute.
synovate is cool cuz sometimes they send me free stuff in the mail to try out and test for them. they introduced me to the axe effect before anyone else knew of that ka-raa-zy stuff.
the laundry won't do itself!
5.02.2003
i want to be a mutant
i, again, geeked out and watched x2 at midnight last night (this is the 4th movie i've seen on opening day midnight release). technically, 12:10, but close enough. the earliest possible time to see this movie on the east coast was midnight, and i was there. woo-hoo! conclusion: dork.
but it's more than that.
we have no bards in our society. we have no storytellers. we have no homers making sure the odyssy and iliad.
but we do have steven spielbergs, george lucas, and peter jacksons.
no longer do we gather around the warm glow of the campfire listening to the bard weave his tale. now, it's the cool light of the movie screen or tv. stadium seating and couches have replaced logs and stones. the myths and legends of our culture are films (i make a distinction between movies and films. super troopers, as good as it is, is a movie. shawshank redemption is a film.). all rooted in fact, but expanded to be more.
and it's the more that makes us willing to drop $8.75 for a freakin' ticket or $25 for a dvd. films offer us a glimpse of what we could achieve with our limited and shallow human emotions. there is depth and substance to the reel. it is their ability to reach out through the screen and grab hold of us and draw them into their universe that makes films like lord of the rings earn over a billion for the series.
movies project what we want the world to be into an idealized form. people say watching movies all the time is a bad thing.
i couldn't disagree more.
i'm just researching humanity.
i, again, geeked out and watched x2 at midnight last night (this is the 4th movie i've seen on opening day midnight release). technically, 12:10, but close enough. the earliest possible time to see this movie on the east coast was midnight, and i was there. woo-hoo! conclusion: dork.
but it's more than that.
we have no bards in our society. we have no storytellers. we have no homers making sure the odyssy and iliad.
but we do have steven spielbergs, george lucas, and peter jacksons.
no longer do we gather around the warm glow of the campfire listening to the bard weave his tale. now, it's the cool light of the movie screen or tv. stadium seating and couches have replaced logs and stones. the myths and legends of our culture are films (i make a distinction between movies and films. super troopers, as good as it is, is a movie. shawshank redemption is a film.). all rooted in fact, but expanded to be more.
and it's the more that makes us willing to drop $8.75 for a freakin' ticket or $25 for a dvd. films offer us a glimpse of what we could achieve with our limited and shallow human emotions. there is depth and substance to the reel. it is their ability to reach out through the screen and grab hold of us and draw them into their universe that makes films like lord of the rings earn over a billion for the series.
movies project what we want the world to be into an idealized form. people say watching movies all the time is a bad thing.
i couldn't disagree more.
i'm just researching humanity.
5.01.2003
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)