i won't toe your line today, i can't see it anyway
onto my latest cahrazy dream.
i'm at a party with some people. half the people are naked. it said on your invitation whether or not you were supposed to come naked. i was wearing clothes. everyone is chilling out talking to people, eating food, drinking wine. i sit in a corner wondering why i've been invited and who actually thinks up a half-your-guests-are-naked-the-other-half-aren't party and then gets people to show up.
finally, the lady that i think is the hostess (she's clothed) comes up to me and asks me if i want to go to the store to get some milk for the party before it closes. i jump at the opportunity. i'll even take my car i explain to her. she hands me a fiver and gives me directions to the honey farms. i get in my car and drive away. trying to follow her instructions means i have to go down a one way the wrong way.
so i do.
i pull up to the convenience store just in time to see the guy shut off the lights and lock the door. i'm pissed.
i grab a mountain bike that was in my trunk and start biking towards the supermarket across the street (don't ask why i didn't take my car, i don't know). i go into the grocery store, but now it's an l.l. bean store. i wander around wondering if they have milk somewhere on display, but they don't.
so i hop back on my bike and start biking around the town stopping at various stores, but none of them are open. i'm getting worried, cuz it's starting to get late. finally, i find this little convenience store that is open in the middle a cemetary. they have milk. for $4.99 a gallon. i'm not impressed by them trying to rip me off, but i pay the money.
then i realize that i have no idea where i am. i ask for directions back to the party. i'm told that i'm in the next town over and i have over 20 miles to bike back. this doesn't faze me. i'm worried about hte milk getting warm before i get back and whether or not the hostess will be pissed the milk cost $4.99.
i step outside, notice that the sun is starting to rise and jump on my bike and start heading in the direction i was told to go--east.
i pull up to rest at a stoplight and look over to see two chinese women in my car.
they were stealing it.
i jump on the hood my car and start yelling at them. finally they get out of my car and i head back towards the party.
then i wake up.
i never found out if the hostess was pissed about the expensive milk showing up the next morning.
i'm quite curious.
everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.--leo tolstoy
7.31.2003
7.29.2003
just get messed up on your best stuff
i was wondering why it was taking so long to get a finicial aid package from worcester state, and i found out why today.
the federal goverment.
i processed my fafsa on 5/11 and i got an email today saying it was processed on 7/29.
i filled it out online and submitted it that day. it took them 2 1/2 months to process it.
somehow, that doesn't seem very quick to me.
man, i can't wait til i get to run the federal government starting on jan 20, 2017.
the volare passed 70,000 miles on sunday morning.
i was even stopped at a stoplight when it was reading 7 and zeros.
i desperately wanted a digital camera. hell, any camera.
i almost asked the guy stopped next to me if he had one on him.
i should have. you only hit 70 thou once on a 1979 blue plymouth volare with a 220 cubic inch single barrel carb slant six with a 3 speed automatic transmission that has cruise control--and a bench seat in the front.
i'm glad that the terror market the pentagon was thinking up was shut down. but the very fact that this--a market for investors to basically bet on when and where the next terrorist attack or assination would be--got out of a meeting and actually put forward with a website and program and potential investors makes me sad that i live in america.
senator carl levison of michigan thought 'that it was a hoax."
sen. ron wydon of oregon had this--which basically sums up my opinion on it--to say, "the idea of a federal betting parlor on atrocities and terrorism is ridiculous and it's grotesque."
i'm glad the plug was pulled before it got to the point--and this speaking pessimistically probably a bit cynical--that people were trying to make sure their "investments" actually happened.
i agree with what senator warner of virginia had to say about it:
"here's been no effort whatsoever to make it secret. the program is modeled after a successful program, utilized by one of the nation's foremost think tanks, which while not directed toward terrorism, is directed toward analysis of other contingencies in the future, and in the community's been perceived as a fairly successful program."
but if they want to go through with it, they should use it set up with dummy money and let fark run it.
a futures market could have it's place in the fight against terrorism, but i think someone got overzealous and tried to rush it out without taking an assessment of how it was actually going to be run--and perceived--by the public.
measure twice. cut once.
i can't wait til i run the federal government starting jan 20, 2017.
i was wondering why it was taking so long to get a finicial aid package from worcester state, and i found out why today.
the federal goverment.
i processed my fafsa on 5/11 and i got an email today saying it was processed on 7/29.
i filled it out online and submitted it that day. it took them 2 1/2 months to process it.
somehow, that doesn't seem very quick to me.
man, i can't wait til i get to run the federal government starting on jan 20, 2017.
the volare passed 70,000 miles on sunday morning.
i was even stopped at a stoplight when it was reading 7 and zeros.
i desperately wanted a digital camera. hell, any camera.
i almost asked the guy stopped next to me if he had one on him.
i should have. you only hit 70 thou once on a 1979 blue plymouth volare with a 220 cubic inch single barrel carb slant six with a 3 speed automatic transmission that has cruise control--and a bench seat in the front.
i'm glad that the terror market the pentagon was thinking up was shut down. but the very fact that this--a market for investors to basically bet on when and where the next terrorist attack or assination would be--got out of a meeting and actually put forward with a website and program and potential investors makes me sad that i live in america.
senator carl levison of michigan thought 'that it was a hoax."
sen. ron wydon of oregon had this--which basically sums up my opinion on it--to say, "the idea of a federal betting parlor on atrocities and terrorism is ridiculous and it's grotesque."
i'm glad the plug was pulled before it got to the point--and this speaking pessimistically probably a bit cynical--that people were trying to make sure their "investments" actually happened.
i agree with what senator warner of virginia had to say about it:
"here's been no effort whatsoever to make it secret. the program is modeled after a successful program, utilized by one of the nation's foremost think tanks, which while not directed toward terrorism, is directed toward analysis of other contingencies in the future, and in the community's been perceived as a fairly successful program."
but if they want to go through with it, they should use it set up with dummy money and let fark run it.
a futures market could have it's place in the fight against terrorism, but i think someone got overzealous and tried to rush it out without taking an assessment of how it was actually going to be run--and perceived--by the public.
measure twice. cut once.
i can't wait til i run the federal government starting jan 20, 2017.
7.27.2003
what is the difference between chow mein and lo mein?
i don't like going to work.
the actual physical process of leaving my place and going to work is hell.
being out of work or at work is fine. i'm cool with that. it's just the transition phase.
it's a metaphor for life.
my boss told me the story about how he's going to trade in his volkswagen in 2 years cuz the guy told that sold it to him told him that when 3 out of the 4 years are up on the lease to come in and they'll "talk numbers." i heard it three times last night. i can't even remember how many times he told me that story this week.
he tells the same stories over and over.
and he sucks at telling a story.
oh, and never mind the story about how he got honorably discharged from the navy for having (and this is a quote) "homosexual encounters while on shore leave." that one nevers gets old.
plus, we have to listen to dave matthews at least 10458% percent of the time that we are there. i like dave, but i'm getting sick of it.
i hate going to work.
the only things that keep me sane are the paycheck (which ain't much) and jake. jake is my coworker that lived the 60s and 70s. saw the zeppelin concert where they played stairway for the first time. moved to the bahamas at 20 with $300 cuz he was bored with philly. has seen every movie known to man. and can dish some funny oneliners. if he wasn't there and i just had to work with my boss, i would be in jail for homocide.
maybe.
i don't know if they would convict me or not.
we listened to the same dave matthews bootleg 4 days in a row.
i hate going to work.
i think we should only work 2 days a week and have a 5 day weekend. this guy i met last night, david from germany, thinks the same. he's here from cologne to do research for the chem eng department here at wpi. he's a cool guy. he gets the thumbs up. i think he has the same social philosophy that i do, so that's refreshing that the revolution will take place in europe as well.
but, seriously. we should only have a 2 day work week. that would be super sweet.
oh well, it's my weekend now. so enough bitching.
i'll just fall asleep to led zeppelin II.
i don't like going to work.
the actual physical process of leaving my place and going to work is hell.
being out of work or at work is fine. i'm cool with that. it's just the transition phase.
it's a metaphor for life.
my boss told me the story about how he's going to trade in his volkswagen in 2 years cuz the guy told that sold it to him told him that when 3 out of the 4 years are up on the lease to come in and they'll "talk numbers." i heard it three times last night. i can't even remember how many times he told me that story this week.
he tells the same stories over and over.
and he sucks at telling a story.
oh, and never mind the story about how he got honorably discharged from the navy for having (and this is a quote) "homosexual encounters while on shore leave." that one nevers gets old.
plus, we have to listen to dave matthews at least 10458% percent of the time that we are there. i like dave, but i'm getting sick of it.
i hate going to work.
the only things that keep me sane are the paycheck (which ain't much) and jake. jake is my coworker that lived the 60s and 70s. saw the zeppelin concert where they played stairway for the first time. moved to the bahamas at 20 with $300 cuz he was bored with philly. has seen every movie known to man. and can dish some funny oneliners. if he wasn't there and i just had to work with my boss, i would be in jail for homocide.
maybe.
i don't know if they would convict me or not.
we listened to the same dave matthews bootleg 4 days in a row.
i hate going to work.
i think we should only work 2 days a week and have a 5 day weekend. this guy i met last night, david from germany, thinks the same. he's here from cologne to do research for the chem eng department here at wpi. he's a cool guy. he gets the thumbs up. i think he has the same social philosophy that i do, so that's refreshing that the revolution will take place in europe as well.
but, seriously. we should only have a 2 day work week. that would be super sweet.
oh well, it's my weekend now. so enough bitching.
i'll just fall asleep to led zeppelin II.
7.25.2003
he'll give you a weird look
i'm out in the woods. i don't really know why i'm there. it's either sunset or sunrise. i don't know which direction is which. i'm standing on the shores of a lake looking out at the still water.
this guy motors over in an inflatable boat with a big motor on the back of it.
"you need to come with us"
"ok"
i hop in the boat and start driving it. i'm driving across the lake. i don't know why i have to cross the lake. i just know that i need to get to the other end of it.
we get to a waterfall. i just jump right over it and splash down into the rapids. running the boat at top speed, i wail over the rapids pushing the boat to its limits. i have to get to the other side of this lake. i must.
we finally get to this clear pool of water, and i let the boat float up to the edge. i'm at the base of a mountain. there are stone steps leading down into the mountain. i follow them.
at the bottom, these people--5 guys and 5 women--show up in business suits and place a hat on my head and a staff in my hand. the bring me to this large stone table in the middle of this medieval chamber and we all sit around it.
"we'd like to be the first to congratulate you on being the new pope," says the one guy that looks like val kilmer.
"the new pope?"
"yes, you've been selected from all the people in the world to be the next pope," says the guy that looks like howard stern.
"but i'm not even catholic!"
"haha. the pope hasn't been catholic for over 500 years," says the lady that is wearing sunglasses.
"alright, cool. what do i have to do?"
they spend the next few hours explaining to me about what i need to do as the pope, what powers i get over the world's nations, and how many assassinations i get to order a year. it's money being the pope.
then all my friends start showing up in the chamber. looking for food and the entertainment center.
"what are you guys doing here?"
"oh, we heard you're the pope, so we're going to crash here for awhile, if you don't mind," says brendan.
"i guess that's cool. just keep it down, we're having a meeting here. by the way, how did you get here?"
"we took the elevator."
"i took a 2 hour boat ride over waterfalls and killer rapids to get here, and you took an elevator!"
one of the other ladies--the one that was bald like the chick in the first star trek movie--speaks up, "we had to send you that way to see if you could be the pope."
then i woke up, realized--sadly--that i wasn't the pope, and rolled back over for more sleep.
join us next time for another exciting chapter of the reger and his whacked out dreams.
i'm out in the woods. i don't really know why i'm there. it's either sunset or sunrise. i don't know which direction is which. i'm standing on the shores of a lake looking out at the still water.
this guy motors over in an inflatable boat with a big motor on the back of it.
"you need to come with us"
"ok"
i hop in the boat and start driving it. i'm driving across the lake. i don't know why i have to cross the lake. i just know that i need to get to the other end of it.
we get to a waterfall. i just jump right over it and splash down into the rapids. running the boat at top speed, i wail over the rapids pushing the boat to its limits. i have to get to the other side of this lake. i must.
we finally get to this clear pool of water, and i let the boat float up to the edge. i'm at the base of a mountain. there are stone steps leading down into the mountain. i follow them.
at the bottom, these people--5 guys and 5 women--show up in business suits and place a hat on my head and a staff in my hand. the bring me to this large stone table in the middle of this medieval chamber and we all sit around it.
"we'd like to be the first to congratulate you on being the new pope," says the one guy that looks like val kilmer.
"the new pope?"
"yes, you've been selected from all the people in the world to be the next pope," says the guy that looks like howard stern.
"but i'm not even catholic!"
"haha. the pope hasn't been catholic for over 500 years," says the lady that is wearing sunglasses.
"alright, cool. what do i have to do?"
they spend the next few hours explaining to me about what i need to do as the pope, what powers i get over the world's nations, and how many assassinations i get to order a year. it's money being the pope.
then all my friends start showing up in the chamber. looking for food and the entertainment center.
"what are you guys doing here?"
"oh, we heard you're the pope, so we're going to crash here for awhile, if you don't mind," says brendan.
"i guess that's cool. just keep it down, we're having a meeting here. by the way, how did you get here?"
"we took the elevator."
"i took a 2 hour boat ride over waterfalls and killer rapids to get here, and you took an elevator!"
one of the other ladies--the one that was bald like the chick in the first star trek movie--speaks up, "we had to send you that way to see if you could be the pope."
then i woke up, realized--sadly--that i wasn't the pope, and rolled back over for more sleep.
join us next time for another exciting chapter of the reger and his whacked out dreams.
7.24.2003
the advancement of the reversal has hit some snags
time for me to bitch about the system:
in yesterday's boston globe, along side the main article of hussien's kids killed (good for everybody), was an article about how one of national security advisor rice's assistants is the one that screwed up the state of the union "mistake."
but i thought tenet of the cia was to blame? he said he shouldn't have let the statement in the address, but he also told some members of congress during a hearing that he had never read the speech. so it's this guy hadley's fault.
so who is really to blame for this? i was against the administration's reasons for the invasion of iraq long time ago. i won't even buy their bullshit about how it's about the people of iraq and liberating oppressed people. that's a fine and dandy reason, but then why are we dilly-dallying over 2400 troops for liberia? who is actually in some serious need of american military muscle. oh, that's right. we still have 140,000 troops in iraq (i hope to God that the fatalities of our troops will stop in iraq) and no real plan for getting that country set up as exxonmobil middle east.
there is a coverup about the real reason we went to war. rumsfeld should just come out and say, "yeah, i bullied powell and bush into doing this. bush was easy. it just took a cookie. but i had to beat the colonel a bit to bring him to our side. it's my call, and i'm glad we did it. also, today president bush signed an executive order granting me the title dark overlord of the american empire."
and then there has only been one democratic candidate that has been railing against this war loudly since it started: howard dean of vermont. he'll be getting my vote in the primary just so i can watch him make bush squeam during the debates. besides kerry of massachusetts, the rest of the imbeciles running for the donkey ticket make me actually think about keeping bush in office another 4 years.
steve told me about this guy at work that said something to effect: intellectuals aren't popular people. just look at our president's approval ratings.
but, hey, it doesn't matter. we got our one member of the "axis of evil"--that's good enough. nevermind that we haven't found any wmds or any facilities for making them or even saddam himself. and nevermind that n. korea has been processing spent rods from nuclear power plants that will be used to make the bomb. nevermind that the koreans getting the bomb will lead to an asian arms race where japan and even australia will be clamoring for some nuclear deterrents. we'll get our 35 cent gallons of gas, and the average american moron will be happy.
i don't have anything against the conservative ideology per se. i am against the cronyism and corruption that is rampant in both major parties. i am against the abuse of the american system of government for rummy and co to get their world empire. i am against the democrats for being giant pansies and not even trying to do anything about this when they had the opportunity.
someone needs to take the power back.
in political good news, the house has decided to overturn the fcc's decision to increase television station ownership from 35% to 45%. the senate is also looking to do the same.
good work boys. too bad you can only agree on something that won't really help the millions of uninsured children in america. or the veterns being denied medical assistance. or the thousands of illegal immigrants that are absorbing our resources. or the bigots that beat homosexuals, non-whites and/or women on a daily basis.
thanks for keeping clear channel from buying some tv stations. my life is so much better now.
it also looks like the gop lead effort to oust california gov. davis by recall is going to go through. over a million signatures were verified, paving the way for a special election within the next 90 days. the only good thing about this is that we may get our second predator star into a governor's mansion. that's right soon to join the ranks of jesse ventura, will--fingers crossed--be arnold schwarzenegger. before one could only dream of a world where the terminator kindergarten cop conan the barbarian/destroyer would be an elected official. in all honesty, i think it would be good to have governor arnold.
but mostly i'm just bitter at the entire establishment right now.
do not anger the hippie. he has much rage inside.
only 13 more years til i begin my presidential campaign.
time for me to bitch about the system:
in yesterday's boston globe, along side the main article of hussien's kids killed (good for everybody), was an article about how one of national security advisor rice's assistants is the one that screwed up the state of the union "mistake."
but i thought tenet of the cia was to blame? he said he shouldn't have let the statement in the address, but he also told some members of congress during a hearing that he had never read the speech. so it's this guy hadley's fault.
so who is really to blame for this? i was against the administration's reasons for the invasion of iraq long time ago. i won't even buy their bullshit about how it's about the people of iraq and liberating oppressed people. that's a fine and dandy reason, but then why are we dilly-dallying over 2400 troops for liberia? who is actually in some serious need of american military muscle. oh, that's right. we still have 140,000 troops in iraq (i hope to God that the fatalities of our troops will stop in iraq) and no real plan for getting that country set up as exxonmobil middle east.
there is a coverup about the real reason we went to war. rumsfeld should just come out and say, "yeah, i bullied powell and bush into doing this. bush was easy. it just took a cookie. but i had to beat the colonel a bit to bring him to our side. it's my call, and i'm glad we did it. also, today president bush signed an executive order granting me the title dark overlord of the american empire."
and then there has only been one democratic candidate that has been railing against this war loudly since it started: howard dean of vermont. he'll be getting my vote in the primary just so i can watch him make bush squeam during the debates. besides kerry of massachusetts, the rest of the imbeciles running for the donkey ticket make me actually think about keeping bush in office another 4 years.
steve told me about this guy at work that said something to effect: intellectuals aren't popular people. just look at our president's approval ratings.
but, hey, it doesn't matter. we got our one member of the "axis of evil"--that's good enough. nevermind that we haven't found any wmds or any facilities for making them or even saddam himself. and nevermind that n. korea has been processing spent rods from nuclear power plants that will be used to make the bomb. nevermind that the koreans getting the bomb will lead to an asian arms race where japan and even australia will be clamoring for some nuclear deterrents. we'll get our 35 cent gallons of gas, and the average american moron will be happy.
i don't have anything against the conservative ideology per se. i am against the cronyism and corruption that is rampant in both major parties. i am against the abuse of the american system of government for rummy and co to get their world empire. i am against the democrats for being giant pansies and not even trying to do anything about this when they had the opportunity.
someone needs to take the power back.
in political good news, the house has decided to overturn the fcc's decision to increase television station ownership from 35% to 45%. the senate is also looking to do the same.
good work boys. too bad you can only agree on something that won't really help the millions of uninsured children in america. or the veterns being denied medical assistance. or the thousands of illegal immigrants that are absorbing our resources. or the bigots that beat homosexuals, non-whites and/or women on a daily basis.
thanks for keeping clear channel from buying some tv stations. my life is so much better now.
it also looks like the gop lead effort to oust california gov. davis by recall is going to go through. over a million signatures were verified, paving the way for a special election within the next 90 days. the only good thing about this is that we may get our second predator star into a governor's mansion. that's right soon to join the ranks of jesse ventura, will--fingers crossed--be arnold schwarzenegger. before one could only dream of a world where the terminator kindergarten cop conan the barbarian/destroyer would be an elected official. in all honesty, i think it would be good to have governor arnold.
but mostly i'm just bitter at the entire establishment right now.
do not anger the hippie. he has much rage inside.
only 13 more years til i begin my presidential campaign.
7.23.2003
the purpose of flying to peru
i am a big fan of minnesota timberwolves basketball.
i've loved them since they came into the league.
i really loved them when they picked up kevin garnett.
i love them even more now.
back in june, the wolves sent forward joe smith and guard anthony peeler to the bucks for guard sam cassell and center ervin johnson. i was like, "pretty sweet." i liked peeler, but cassell is good. he's a good one. and now the bucks are royally screwed cuz payton left to go to the lakers, and--sorry, anthony--but peeler ain't no glove.
then we lost our center--rasho nestorvic--to the spurs. a slight letdown. i liked rasho. i thought he was a solid player. and so did the spurs.
but then we got the candy man. michael olowokandi--the number one pick in the 98 draft--is on board with the wolves. all aboard the 2004 championship ship! toot! toot!
but the kicker is what i read this morning. latrell sprewell--the coach choking, hand breaking phenom--is coming to minneapolis. he's coming to the gopher state. he's going to need to buy some winter boots. the loss of terrell brandon is sad but not unexpected. he's headed to retirement after too many injuries. he's a part of the 4 team deal for salar cap reasons. the knicks, hawks, 76s and wolves all make out in this deal. but not as much as the wolves. weehaw!
sam cassell at point guard
sprewell at shooting guard
olowokandi at center
wally at small forward
kg at power forward
we will make it past the first round. even the talent soaked lakers will have to recognize the new threat rising from the midwest and covering all the land its basketball glory.
i am a big fan of minnesota timberwolves basketball.
i've loved them since they came into the league.
i really loved them when they picked up kevin garnett.
i love them even more now.
back in june, the wolves sent forward joe smith and guard anthony peeler to the bucks for guard sam cassell and center ervin johnson. i was like, "pretty sweet." i liked peeler, but cassell is good. he's a good one. and now the bucks are royally screwed cuz payton left to go to the lakers, and--sorry, anthony--but peeler ain't no glove.
then we lost our center--rasho nestorvic--to the spurs. a slight letdown. i liked rasho. i thought he was a solid player. and so did the spurs.
but then we got the candy man. michael olowokandi--the number one pick in the 98 draft--is on board with the wolves. all aboard the 2004 championship ship! toot! toot!
but the kicker is what i read this morning. latrell sprewell--the coach choking, hand breaking phenom--is coming to minneapolis. he's coming to the gopher state. he's going to need to buy some winter boots. the loss of terrell brandon is sad but not unexpected. he's headed to retirement after too many injuries. he's a part of the 4 team deal for salar cap reasons. the knicks, hawks, 76s and wolves all make out in this deal. but not as much as the wolves. weehaw!
sam cassell at point guard
sprewell at shooting guard
olowokandi at center
wally at small forward
kg at power forward
we will make it past the first round. even the talent soaked lakers will have to recognize the new threat rising from the midwest and covering all the land its basketball glory.
7.22.2003
so i took a 20 minute nap in the bathroom
continuing my life long search to understand women, i have realized another problem with them.
why is it that guys are supposed to remember to put the seat down?
look at it this way. we have to lift the seat up when we have to go and put it back down when we are done.
the woman, on the other hand, gets to conveniently walk into the bathroom anytime she likes and have it set up to her specifications.
i, for one, am sick of being treated like a second-class person. i'm a man! and i can leave the seat up whenever i damn well please.
this problem could be solved, of course, by installing both a commode and a urinal in the bathroom.
continuing my life long search to understand women, i have realized another problem with them.
why is it that guys are supposed to remember to put the seat down?
look at it this way. we have to lift the seat up when we have to go and put it back down when we are done.
the woman, on the other hand, gets to conveniently walk into the bathroom anytime she likes and have it set up to her specifications.
i, for one, am sick of being treated like a second-class person. i'm a man! and i can leave the seat up whenever i damn well please.
this problem could be solved, of course, by installing both a commode and a urinal in the bathroom.
7.17.2003
i sing the body electric, but all i smell is ozone
with the woman coming back today, i've been thinking about women. and how they confuse the hell out of me.
my one time ra and still source of enlightenment, dan jacques, can write (and very well, i'll add) about women and he seems to understand them.
that broken girl can right about the existential angst of all college students, and i understand.
i understand the bad news that trucker hats are when i read mad pony.
when allison talks about her birthday for a week and a half, i can understand that, too. cuz i will blab when it's my birthday, too.
but there are so many things i don't understand. and i don't think i ever will.
take, for example, lip gloss. why do you own 893 different flavors of it? why do you always have to have it on? why do you eat it? and why do you put on the kind with glitter? glitter is like herpes. once you have it, you can never get rid of it. i have glitter on my car seats from february when carla wore a sparkle dress. i've found glitter on my face 3 months after carla has kissed my cheek. glitter looks good on you, ladies. on you. just keep it to yourselves.
another thing, why is it when you wear shorts with an elastic band do you roll down the top? does this serve like a belt? then buy smaller shorts. girls are always complaining about the size of their clothes, now you can do something about it and not confuse the hell out of me! and ambercrombie actually makes shorts where their name is upside down on the inside of the elastic so you have to roll down the top to read the word! i don't understand.
and then there are shoes. i currently own 4(!) pairs of shoes. this is the most in my entire lifetime.
1 pair sandals
1 pair sneakers
1 pair casual shoes
1 pair wing tips
and all 4 pair are black!
where on the femine side of coin, you'll own 14 pairs of boots, 37 pairs of sandals and 64 million red shoes.
wait. i'm sorry. that's unfair. you own a magenta pair, a fuschia pair, a brick red pair, a cherry red pair, a blush red pair, a fire engine red pair, a fire hydrant red pair, a crimson pair and 63, 999, 992 pairs of plain red shoes.
this, i feel, is where the genders are, forever and ever amen, never going to come to a common understanding.
also something that girls worry about is the size of their butts. i don't understand this. there is no need to worry about the size of it. the bigger the better. this is has been demostrated to us multiple times in pop culture. the ladies man always recommends "da butt." and j. lo is an acceptable example for why the butt is nicer when there is more to go around. but--for the good examples--i'm leaning more towards the music arena of pop culture. sir mix a lot tells us, "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon." queen reminded us with a bit of melody that "fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round." and it's true. don't worry ladies, we like any butt that likes us.
i could go on for days about women and my inability to know anything about them.
but i won't.
instead, i'll just offer the little advice i do know about women:
guys: women are beautiful. and we are a stupid species, so just find the one that doesn't care you're stupid and hold on.
ladies: you are all beautiful, amazing, talented, lovely, breath-taking, gorgeous creatures. boys are just too stupid to realize it. just find one that's not too stupid and hold on.
with the woman coming back today, i've been thinking about women. and how they confuse the hell out of me.
my one time ra and still source of enlightenment, dan jacques, can write (and very well, i'll add) about women and he seems to understand them.
that broken girl can right about the existential angst of all college students, and i understand.
i understand the bad news that trucker hats are when i read mad pony.
when allison talks about her birthday for a week and a half, i can understand that, too. cuz i will blab when it's my birthday, too.
but there are so many things i don't understand. and i don't think i ever will.
take, for example, lip gloss. why do you own 893 different flavors of it? why do you always have to have it on? why do you eat it? and why do you put on the kind with glitter? glitter is like herpes. once you have it, you can never get rid of it. i have glitter on my car seats from february when carla wore a sparkle dress. i've found glitter on my face 3 months after carla has kissed my cheek. glitter looks good on you, ladies. on you. just keep it to yourselves.
another thing, why is it when you wear shorts with an elastic band do you roll down the top? does this serve like a belt? then buy smaller shorts. girls are always complaining about the size of their clothes, now you can do something about it and not confuse the hell out of me! and ambercrombie actually makes shorts where their name is upside down on the inside of the elastic so you have to roll down the top to read the word! i don't understand.
and then there are shoes. i currently own 4(!) pairs of shoes. this is the most in my entire lifetime.
1 pair sandals
1 pair sneakers
1 pair casual shoes
1 pair wing tips
and all 4 pair are black!
where on the femine side of coin, you'll own 14 pairs of boots, 37 pairs of sandals and 64 million red shoes.
wait. i'm sorry. that's unfair. you own a magenta pair, a fuschia pair, a brick red pair, a cherry red pair, a blush red pair, a fire engine red pair, a fire hydrant red pair, a crimson pair and 63, 999, 992 pairs of plain red shoes.
this, i feel, is where the genders are, forever and ever amen, never going to come to a common understanding.
also something that girls worry about is the size of their butts. i don't understand this. there is no need to worry about the size of it. the bigger the better. this is has been demostrated to us multiple times in pop culture. the ladies man always recommends "da butt." and j. lo is an acceptable example for why the butt is nicer when there is more to go around. but--for the good examples--i'm leaning more towards the music arena of pop culture. sir mix a lot tells us, "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon." queen reminded us with a bit of melody that "fat-bottomed girls make the rockin' world go 'round." and it's true. don't worry ladies, we like any butt that likes us.
i could go on for days about women and my inability to know anything about them.
but i won't.
instead, i'll just offer the little advice i do know about women:
guys: women are beautiful. and we are a stupid species, so just find the one that doesn't care you're stupid and hold on.
ladies: you are all beautiful, amazing, talented, lovely, breath-taking, gorgeous creatures. boys are just too stupid to realize it. just find one that's not too stupid and hold on.
7.14.2003
remarkable how often those two traits coincide
yes, he has 20 million listeners.
yes, he has two national bestsellers.
yes, he will join the crew of nfl sunday countdown on espn.
yes, he is rush limbaugh.
no, i'm not a republican.
no, i'm not anything near conservative.
no, i'm not a fan of his.
no, i'm not going to stop watching.
but what i will do is tune out whatever he says during his time on air.
wait a minute. strike that. reverse it.
i will listen to every word he says and then scream at the television and talk about what a moron is. how he's ruining the show. i'll lament about espn's decision to hire him. i will go to sleep crying.
i was cool with michael irvin taking over for sterling sharpe. but this?
rush tried to get the monday night football job 3 years ago, but--praise be to allah--lost to dennis miller. and he say's he has been trying for 10+ years to get on espn.
this is what we are supposed to teach our children the value of persistence is? rush limbaugh gets to talk nfl on one of my favorite networks? my kids will learn to give up quite readily.
this is happening? this is not a hoax?
"we want to give fans a voice, and rush is the person who can do it," said mark shapiro, espn's chief of production.
fans a voice? then go out and ask a bunch of fans a question about football and air the most intelligent and/or entertaining responses. would that be that hard to do? does anyone have mark shapiro's number? i'll save him money and actually give the fans a voice. do the football gods care about the media that talks about the wonderful game that the gods themselves have deemed worthy for men to play? if so, i would imagine that they are not conservatives and that they will, i hope, raze this monstrosity.
rush has this to say: "i couldn't be more excited about this, folks."
well, i'm not, folks.
but there is something deeper here. something darker.
rush works for premiere radio networks which is a subsidary of clear channel communications. the same clear channel that has snapped up over 1200 radio stations and over 30 tv stations nationwide. the same clear channel that is responsible for the absolute suck of today's mainstream radio. the same clear channel that was upset by recent congressional action concerning tv ownership rules. the same clear channel that alleged the us senate "decided to ignore the constitution." the same clear channel that is probably going to endorse w in the 2004 election. the same clear channel that now has one of it's most popular radio personalities (one of the other being the despicable dr. laura) on tv in a forum where millions of common americans (read: uneducated and probably blind supporters of whatever fox news tells them) will get to hear his conservative politics!
granted, i'm probably over-reacting. but the minute rush praises w, cheny, or rumsfeld or bashes the left, i will level espn's headquarters in bristol.
i swear to God.
with iraqi weapons of mass destruction.
yes, he has 20 million listeners.
yes, he has two national bestsellers.
yes, he will join the crew of nfl sunday countdown on espn.
yes, he is rush limbaugh.
no, i'm not a republican.
no, i'm not anything near conservative.
no, i'm not a fan of his.
no, i'm not going to stop watching.
but what i will do is tune out whatever he says during his time on air.
wait a minute. strike that. reverse it.
i will listen to every word he says and then scream at the television and talk about what a moron is. how he's ruining the show. i'll lament about espn's decision to hire him. i will go to sleep crying.
i was cool with michael irvin taking over for sterling sharpe. but this?
rush tried to get the monday night football job 3 years ago, but--praise be to allah--lost to dennis miller. and he say's he has been trying for 10+ years to get on espn.
this is what we are supposed to teach our children the value of persistence is? rush limbaugh gets to talk nfl on one of my favorite networks? my kids will learn to give up quite readily.
this is happening? this is not a hoax?
"we want to give fans a voice, and rush is the person who can do it," said mark shapiro, espn's chief of production.
fans a voice? then go out and ask a bunch of fans a question about football and air the most intelligent and/or entertaining responses. would that be that hard to do? does anyone have mark shapiro's number? i'll save him money and actually give the fans a voice. do the football gods care about the media that talks about the wonderful game that the gods themselves have deemed worthy for men to play? if so, i would imagine that they are not conservatives and that they will, i hope, raze this monstrosity.
rush has this to say: "i couldn't be more excited about this, folks."
well, i'm not, folks.
but there is something deeper here. something darker.
rush works for premiere radio networks which is a subsidary of clear channel communications. the same clear channel that has snapped up over 1200 radio stations and over 30 tv stations nationwide. the same clear channel that is responsible for the absolute suck of today's mainstream radio. the same clear channel that was upset by recent congressional action concerning tv ownership rules. the same clear channel that alleged the us senate "decided to ignore the constitution." the same clear channel that is probably going to endorse w in the 2004 election. the same clear channel that now has one of it's most popular radio personalities (one of the other being the despicable dr. laura) on tv in a forum where millions of common americans (read: uneducated and probably blind supporters of whatever fox news tells them) will get to hear his conservative politics!
granted, i'm probably over-reacting. but the minute rush praises w, cheny, or rumsfeld or bashes the left, i will level espn's headquarters in bristol.
i swear to God.
with iraqi weapons of mass destruction.
that man who just wrapped a trombone around your neck was jim knepper, a mingus sideman and notorious crank
summer p@rty
summer p@rty
7.13.2003
i drop grands like i drop deuces
i like it when people say "thanks. good job"
i don't even want the thanks most of time.
i would be content to have people follow my example and do the right thing than to thank me for doing good. i feel more justified in my effort when others follow me lead. it makes it seem like what i'm doing actually makes a difference in the long run.
why weren't the leading democrats speaking up when the shit was going down on the decision to "liberate" iraq? why were they all weak and wait until it was guaranteed that we were going to win without massive american losses? they can rant all they want about the false intelligence, how the cia screwed up, how there really were no weapons of mass destruction, how the administration is leading us wrong and we should vote for them in 04.
well, guess what, man? i ain't voting for ya. and i sure as hell ain't voting for bush, either. i voted al gore in 2000 to try to keep bush out of office. this time, i'll be voting for a small third party. may i help cause bush to win another term? maybe. but i also want to help show the democrats that they have royally screwed the pooch on this one, and they aren't worthy of an american's respect either.
i like both karl malone and gary payton. i don't like the lakers, though. and as much as i like those two, i'm still going to hope for the collapse of shaq and kobe. i am excited about alonzo mourning going to the nets though. which means kidd stays in town, and the nets will be going to their third straight nba championship series. will they win? probably not. the west is still too good, but at least it'll be a good series again.
i came home to find someone sleeping in my bed (read: the futon). i did not expect to find him there. now i'll have to sleep on the loveseat. which, in the grand scheme of things, is not that bad. it was just a surprise to find hanson snoring away.
when someone has something that you know they will share with you, at least have the courtesy to ask or wait to be offered. just don't go pillaging because you assume it's ok. ask or wait for the offer. a little respect and deceny will get you a lot in life.
i was going to read a ton of books this summer, but that plan failed like so many others in my life. i've read two. flow (a book about optimizing experiences, you know, being in the flow) and naked lunch. good books, but a much shorter list than i wanted. i have a month and a half to correct that. look at me being motivated!
and i'm off!
i like it when people say "thanks. good job"
i don't even want the thanks most of time.
i would be content to have people follow my example and do the right thing than to thank me for doing good. i feel more justified in my effort when others follow me lead. it makes it seem like what i'm doing actually makes a difference in the long run.
why weren't the leading democrats speaking up when the shit was going down on the decision to "liberate" iraq? why were they all weak and wait until it was guaranteed that we were going to win without massive american losses? they can rant all they want about the false intelligence, how the cia screwed up, how there really were no weapons of mass destruction, how the administration is leading us wrong and we should vote for them in 04.
well, guess what, man? i ain't voting for ya. and i sure as hell ain't voting for bush, either. i voted al gore in 2000 to try to keep bush out of office. this time, i'll be voting for a small third party. may i help cause bush to win another term? maybe. but i also want to help show the democrats that they have royally screwed the pooch on this one, and they aren't worthy of an american's respect either.
i like both karl malone and gary payton. i don't like the lakers, though. and as much as i like those two, i'm still going to hope for the collapse of shaq and kobe. i am excited about alonzo mourning going to the nets though. which means kidd stays in town, and the nets will be going to their third straight nba championship series. will they win? probably not. the west is still too good, but at least it'll be a good series again.
i came home to find someone sleeping in my bed (read: the futon). i did not expect to find him there. now i'll have to sleep on the loveseat. which, in the grand scheme of things, is not that bad. it was just a surprise to find hanson snoring away.
when someone has something that you know they will share with you, at least have the courtesy to ask or wait to be offered. just don't go pillaging because you assume it's ok. ask or wait for the offer. a little respect and deceny will get you a lot in life.
i was going to read a ton of books this summer, but that plan failed like so many others in my life. i've read two. flow (a book about optimizing experiences, you know, being in the flow) and naked lunch. good books, but a much shorter list than i wanted. i have a month and a half to correct that. look at me being motivated!
and i'm off!
7.12.2003
you ever do produce?
i was happy today.
and not because when we were doing time trials around the store on the pallet jack i wasn't the one that got in trouble for crashing into the end displays.
while that was money, i'm happy because it rained today. and, for the first time in many moons, i remembered to roll up all my car windows. no wet ass for reger today. woohoo!
it's the little things, isn't it?
i was happy today.
and not because when we were doing time trials around the store on the pallet jack i wasn't the one that got in trouble for crashing into the end displays.
while that was money, i'm happy because it rained today. and, for the first time in many moons, i remembered to roll up all my car windows. no wet ass for reger today. woohoo!
it's the little things, isn't it?
7.11.2003
hlaghaftoyaietoljz
for those of you that are culinarily challenged or are lazy about cooking food, i have a very easy and pretty tasty chili recipe for you.
3 cans of chili (your hormel-type cans)
1 jar of salsa (i like trader joe's artichoke salsa)
vegetables of choice (i go with onion and green bell pepper)
open cans.
open jar.
chop up vegetables.
combine in pot and heat.
enjoy!
for those of you that are culinarily challenged or are lazy about cooking food, i have a very easy and pretty tasty chili recipe for you.
3 cans of chili (your hormel-type cans)
1 jar of salsa (i like trader joe's artichoke salsa)
vegetables of choice (i go with onion and green bell pepper)
open cans.
open jar.
chop up vegetables.
combine in pot and heat.
enjoy!
7.10.2003
screwed by a moron
the conspiracy theory co-worker quit yesterday. just came in in the morning and told the manager, "i'm done. i start my new job tomorrow."
well, good for him. he was talking about getting a new job for awhile.
but he could have given some notice!
i ended up working 2 extra hours because of him. and i know why he did it. we switch night managers every 3 months. and the new guy, will, just started this week. and last week, the quitter told me how much he hates will and yadda yadda yadda. so i think jay quit to screw over will.
i wouldn't put it past him. and that's fine and dandy if he wanted to screw over the bossman. i have no trouble with taking it to the man, but he forgot about me and jake and john. the other night crew guys. we're going to have to pick up his hours. and i don't like that. it's a lot of work to do. and jay liked us. he liked the crew. and he just screwed the crew cuz he was excited about screwing over the boss.
the main reason i'm pissed about it is summer party is next week.
< ad >
SUMMER PARTY
july 19
63 wachusett st
worcester, ma 01609
$5 cover for all day food and beverages.
BE THERE IF YOU ARE ANYWHERE IN NEW ENGLAND
and even if you aren't in new england and would like to come to worcester that day.
any and all are welcome.
< /ad >
i'm pissed about jay quitting because now i have to pick up his shift next saturday night when i had requested it off, and probably would have had it off, if that punk hadn't quit. ruined my plans! grrr.
but i'm not bitter or anything.
the conspiracy theory co-worker quit yesterday. just came in in the morning and told the manager, "i'm done. i start my new job tomorrow."
well, good for him. he was talking about getting a new job for awhile.
but he could have given some notice!
i ended up working 2 extra hours because of him. and i know why he did it. we switch night managers every 3 months. and the new guy, will, just started this week. and last week, the quitter told me how much he hates will and yadda yadda yadda. so i think jay quit to screw over will.
i wouldn't put it past him. and that's fine and dandy if he wanted to screw over the bossman. i have no trouble with taking it to the man, but he forgot about me and jake and john. the other night crew guys. we're going to have to pick up his hours. and i don't like that. it's a lot of work to do. and jay liked us. he liked the crew. and he just screwed the crew cuz he was excited about screwing over the boss.
the main reason i'm pissed about it is summer party is next week.
< ad >
SUMMER PARTY
july 19
63 wachusett st
worcester, ma 01609
$5 cover for all day food and beverages.
BE THERE IF YOU ARE ANYWHERE IN NEW ENGLAND
and even if you aren't in new england and would like to come to worcester that day.
any and all are welcome.
< /ad >
i'm pissed about jay quitting because now i have to pick up his shift next saturday night when i had requested it off, and probably would have had it off, if that punk hadn't quit. ruined my plans! grrr.
but i'm not bitter or anything.
7.08.2003
you don't look like a jim
tried laying on the stomach first. left leg draping slightly off the futon. left arm dangling down to the floor. right arm skewed--armpit and elbow both ninety degree angles. right leg just doing it's thing. head to the left.
this isn't comfortable.
head to the right. move right arm parallel to body.
tried laying on my right side. pillow between the knees for support. left hand curled up under the pillow under my head. right arm sticking straight out over the edge. legs pulled up slightly so the knee is a nice obtuse angle.
rolled to my back. right leg put on the floor like a drunk trying to keep the whole world at least spinning in the same direction. left leg straight out. right arm out over edge of futon. left arm thrown up over top of head. i hate sleeping on my back.
left side gets a chance. this time try folded up blanket between knees. left arm under pillow under head. right arm laying along side the body. sweat collecting there in the summer humidity.
fired.
skooch a little and and move right hand to join left one under the pillo...zzzzzzzzzzzz
tried laying on the stomach first. left leg draping slightly off the futon. left arm dangling down to the floor. right arm skewed--armpit and elbow both ninety degree angles. right leg just doing it's thing. head to the left.
this isn't comfortable.
head to the right. move right arm parallel to body.
tried laying on my right side. pillow between the knees for support. left hand curled up under the pillow under my head. right arm sticking straight out over the edge. legs pulled up slightly so the knee is a nice obtuse angle.
rolled to my back. right leg put on the floor like a drunk trying to keep the whole world at least spinning in the same direction. left leg straight out. right arm out over edge of futon. left arm thrown up over top of head. i hate sleeping on my back.
left side gets a chance. this time try folded up blanket between knees. left arm under pillow under head. right arm laying along side the body. sweat collecting there in the summer humidity.
fired.
skooch a little and and move right hand to join left one under the pillo...zzzzzzzzzzzz
i like cold showers in the summer heat
hello, reger.
hello, fate.
how are you today?
i'm fine. what are you doing here?
it's time. time for your destiny.
my destiny?
yes. you have to leave right now.
leave?
yes. it is time for your destiny. you have to leave and begin your journey.
i can't leave. all my stuff is here. my friends are here. the woman i love is here. my life is here.
no, it's time to go. none of that stuff matters. this is your destiny.
i can't leave. on a whim? from some voice in my head? no, i'm staying here. i like it here. i'm not leaving.
you can say that if you want.
i'll do it if i want.
someday you will have no choice. someday you will have to follow fate. someday you will have to complete your destiny.
not today.
destiny is inevitable.
could you just up and do what you thought you had to do? what fate told you had to be done? could you really do it at gutcheck time? could your destiny pull you away from the shelter of a life you have built up around yourself? could you wander the earth like cain in kung fu?
i don't know if i would listen or not.
hello, reger.
hello, fate.
how are you today?
i'm fine. what are you doing here?
it's time. time for your destiny.
my destiny?
yes. you have to leave right now.
leave?
yes. it is time for your destiny. you have to leave and begin your journey.
i can't leave. all my stuff is here. my friends are here. the woman i love is here. my life is here.
no, it's time to go. none of that stuff matters. this is your destiny.
i can't leave. on a whim? from some voice in my head? no, i'm staying here. i like it here. i'm not leaving.
you can say that if you want.
i'll do it if i want.
someday you will have no choice. someday you will have to follow fate. someday you will have to complete your destiny.
not today.
destiny is inevitable.
could you just up and do what you thought you had to do? what fate told you had to be done? could you really do it at gutcheck time? could your destiny pull you away from the shelter of a life you have built up around yourself? could you wander the earth like cain in kung fu?
i don't know if i would listen or not.
7.07.2003
vh1 insomniac music theatre
i didn't switch my sleep schedule yesterday to daywalker time. i was still on graveyard shift time, so i ended up staying up most of the night last night even though i didn't have to work.
to pass the time i decided to check out what pop culture i'm missing out on, so for two hours this morning i watched vh1--seeing if i was still hip or not. apparently, i'm not.
to better understand me as a person, here are some of my thoughts on music today.
i don't even think that any of the people in metallica's st. anger video had ever spent any time in san quentin. that video sucked. that song sucked. all the new metallica sucks. not even in the their-older-shit-is-so-much-better kind of suck. it just sucks. as in kenny-g suck
it may hurt my social standing to admit so, but i like uncle kracker's music.
thalia is like gloria estafen's younger, hotter sister.
maroon 5 came on and did a decent song. my question, is where the hell did these guys come from? and who decided that they actually sounded different enough from the 5000 other bands that sound exactly like them to warrant a record deal?
it is a good thing that beyonce has one of the best bodies in music. cuz she can't act worth a damn. putting aside even the horror that was her performance in austin powers, she couldn't even act well in the scenes she had with jay-z. i've seen coma patients with more convincing emotion.
i just completely spaced out for an entire ashanti video. i even managed to go get a glass of water during it. i don't remember anything.
celine dion got a new hairstyle. she's still got a pretty good body for being like what? 40? 50? and canadian? but her hair cut has to go. i want her hair style from when she was good wholesome celine. the titanic celine. she looks like a cancer patient.
now, santana does all these songs with all these different singers. i want to know what happens when they go on tour. does santana just bounce around the country stopping in on concerts of people he's worked with and performing with them for that night. or is santana that cool that he gets to tell the other people when and where to be for shows? it's gotta be the latter. he is santana.
so kid a and amnesiac were kind of weird--they were still good. but the new radiohead is fantastic. i was a little wary at first, cuz it took me a while to get into amnesiac and i didn't know what direction they were going with in this new one. but i definately enjoy the overall sound of the album, and the political statements that they are not-so-subtlely tossing in there for us stupid yanks are a nice little treat.
ever since she came out, i always thought she was ridiciously hot. but in this new song and video, jewel looks and sounds hotter than ever before. i can't use "most beautiful in the world" (that title is already taken), but i will apply the label sultry to jewel. and she can yodel!
i usually don't pay attention to commercials that much. i hate almost every commercial out there. except for the beer ones. those are hilarious. and the sobe radio ads, but if you're looking for a blanket statement, i hate commercials, is a good one. but i just may buy rasta jamz.
there were only a couple times during my viewing that i felt as though i was little too out of touch with what the kids were listening to today. the first was when blue man group and gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame did a song together for the terminator 3 soundtrack. it was good, but the whole time i was thinking, "man, it's 5:10 in the morning and i'm watching the blue man group do a song with gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame and i can't wait to blog about it." i am such a loser.
i thought liz phair was like this 50 year old brunette that was making a comeback career. turns out she's a much younger blonde girl that makes decent music.
madonna's die another day caused two emotions to well up. one, disgust. at how terrible that movie is and how the james bond lineage is deteriorating. second, curiousity. how many kids do you have to have and how old do they have to be before you can be considered a milf? cuz i don't remember.
the lead singer from goo goo dolls is going to look exactly like rod stewart does today in like 20 years. mark my words. vegas already has a line on this.
i heard avril lavigne give an interview one time. and i was thinking, what is this? she sounds like a teenager! then i realized, she is a teenager. i really hate it when celebrities shatter my unrealistic image of them by acting like themselves.
this is an old question, but it is still unanswered: why don't british bands sound british when they sing?
gwen stefani could be wearing month old dog carcasses and she would still look good. just throwing that one out there.
the second time i felt like i was out of touch with the current crowd was also the time that i felt glad that i don't really like a lot of the music that is popular today. busta rhymes does a song with mariah carey. now, nothing wrong with busta's music. i like his style. but to colaborate with mariah carey? the girl that went from sweet, sweet girl next door mariah carey to strumpet mariah carey? she's just a whore now. at least that's what her image conveys to me, and you know, maybe i'm reading it wrong and she's trying to come across as a feminist for the 21st century, i don't know. but maybe she should look into a new stylist if that's what she is going for.
after that song, i knew they had to play a good one next to get me to stay. they started a new show and put the new beyonce song back on. and while i wouldn't mind the eye candy, the volume was still at an audible level, so i got up and hit the power button.
they reminded me at least a half dozen times in two hours, but i'll only tell you once: 200 greatest pop culture icons countdown premieres july 21
i didn't switch my sleep schedule yesterday to daywalker time. i was still on graveyard shift time, so i ended up staying up most of the night last night even though i didn't have to work.
to pass the time i decided to check out what pop culture i'm missing out on, so for two hours this morning i watched vh1--seeing if i was still hip or not. apparently, i'm not.
to better understand me as a person, here are some of my thoughts on music today.
i don't even think that any of the people in metallica's st. anger video had ever spent any time in san quentin. that video sucked. that song sucked. all the new metallica sucks. not even in the their-older-shit-is-so-much-better kind of suck. it just sucks. as in kenny-g suck
it may hurt my social standing to admit so, but i like uncle kracker's music.
thalia is like gloria estafen's younger, hotter sister.
maroon 5 came on and did a decent song. my question, is where the hell did these guys come from? and who decided that they actually sounded different enough from the 5000 other bands that sound exactly like them to warrant a record deal?
it is a good thing that beyonce has one of the best bodies in music. cuz she can't act worth a damn. putting aside even the horror that was her performance in austin powers, she couldn't even act well in the scenes she had with jay-z. i've seen coma patients with more convincing emotion.
i just completely spaced out for an entire ashanti video. i even managed to go get a glass of water during it. i don't remember anything.
celine dion got a new hairstyle. she's still got a pretty good body for being like what? 40? 50? and canadian? but her hair cut has to go. i want her hair style from when she was good wholesome celine. the titanic celine. she looks like a cancer patient.
now, santana does all these songs with all these different singers. i want to know what happens when they go on tour. does santana just bounce around the country stopping in on concerts of people he's worked with and performing with them for that night. or is santana that cool that he gets to tell the other people when and where to be for shows? it's gotta be the latter. he is santana.
so kid a and amnesiac were kind of weird--they were still good. but the new radiohead is fantastic. i was a little wary at first, cuz it took me a while to get into amnesiac and i didn't know what direction they were going with in this new one. but i definately enjoy the overall sound of the album, and the political statements that they are not-so-subtlely tossing in there for us stupid yanks are a nice little treat.
ever since she came out, i always thought she was ridiciously hot. but in this new song and video, jewel looks and sounds hotter than ever before. i can't use "most beautiful in the world" (that title is already taken), but i will apply the label sultry to jewel. and she can yodel!
i usually don't pay attention to commercials that much. i hate almost every commercial out there. except for the beer ones. those are hilarious. and the sobe radio ads, but if you're looking for a blanket statement, i hate commercials, is a good one. but i just may buy rasta jamz.
there were only a couple times during my viewing that i felt as though i was little too out of touch with what the kids were listening to today. the first was when blue man group and gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame did a song together for the terminator 3 soundtrack. it was good, but the whole time i was thinking, "man, it's 5:10 in the morning and i'm watching the blue man group do a song with gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame and i can't wait to blog about it." i am such a loser.
i thought liz phair was like this 50 year old brunette that was making a comeback career. turns out she's a much younger blonde girl that makes decent music.
madonna's die another day caused two emotions to well up. one, disgust. at how terrible that movie is and how the james bond lineage is deteriorating. second, curiousity. how many kids do you have to have and how old do they have to be before you can be considered a milf? cuz i don't remember.
the lead singer from goo goo dolls is going to look exactly like rod stewart does today in like 20 years. mark my words. vegas already has a line on this.
i heard avril lavigne give an interview one time. and i was thinking, what is this? she sounds like a teenager! then i realized, she is a teenager. i really hate it when celebrities shatter my unrealistic image of them by acting like themselves.
this is an old question, but it is still unanswered: why don't british bands sound british when they sing?
gwen stefani could be wearing month old dog carcasses and she would still look good. just throwing that one out there.
the second time i felt like i was out of touch with the current crowd was also the time that i felt glad that i don't really like a lot of the music that is popular today. busta rhymes does a song with mariah carey. now, nothing wrong with busta's music. i like his style. but to colaborate with mariah carey? the girl that went from sweet, sweet girl next door mariah carey to strumpet mariah carey? she's just a whore now. at least that's what her image conveys to me, and you know, maybe i'm reading it wrong and she's trying to come across as a feminist for the 21st century, i don't know. but maybe she should look into a new stylist if that's what she is going for.
after that song, i knew they had to play a good one next to get me to stay. they started a new show and put the new beyonce song back on. and while i wouldn't mind the eye candy, the volume was still at an audible level, so i got up and hit the power button.
they reminded me at least a half dozen times in two hours, but i'll only tell you once: 200 greatest pop culture icons countdown premieres july 21
7.06.2003
i am so lost
denny's.
is.
fantastic.
leave some change behind. she was a bitch, i don't care. everybody's good enough for some change. some fucking cha-a-a-a-nge.
been listening to the new harry potter book at work, but my boss is switching back to days next week, so now i'm actually going to have to read the book to find out what happens
and then go back and read the first four.
i was fine with just watching the movies. but, noooooo, i had to get sucked into this thing called literature.
if it weren't the drugs, he would be a master of the english language. that's roughly a quote that appears in the preface of naked lunch by william s burroughs. a very strange book. very real and powerful imagery that doesn't make much sense the first time you go over it. i'm going to have to re-read this one to fully understand it, but i can see why it had an obscenity trial and why people talk about it. it's not even a novel, it's more of a collection of imagery. intense-sometimes frightening--imagery. burroughs does not sugarcoat heroin addiction one bit. the visuals sucked me in and made my brain work overtime to ingest and digest all the words that kept following along the page like some disconjointed cohesive rant. not make sense, well, neither does he. but at the same time i'm kept with an overall impression of how that world functions and survives on junk. a fantastic read i recommend to people so inclined to enjoy a book of that nature.
federal appeals court ruled that self-published souces (like this one and all blogs) cannot be held responsible for libel. ala the king tony, nothing in here is true, and--legally--it doesn't have to be!
donald rumsfeld is actually used to be a cross dresser, but he didn't get a role in chicago when in high school. that influenced his life for evermore.
the fact that ever since we invented machines there have been books, movies, tv shows about them taking over and killing us, makes me think that they already have control over us and are using those works as propaganda films to make us think that it really couldn't happen, when, in fact, it already is really happening.
i own 16 planes, a 1935 ford roadster, the cleveland cavaliers, every dvd in existence and a lifetime supply of idiocy.
delaware is way cooler than any state that i have ever visited.
worcester is in the lead for the 2084 summer games.
i am cool.
denny's.
is.
fantastic.
leave some change behind. she was a bitch, i don't care. everybody's good enough for some change. some fucking cha-a-a-a-nge.
been listening to the new harry potter book at work, but my boss is switching back to days next week, so now i'm actually going to have to read the book to find out what happens
and then go back and read the first four.
i was fine with just watching the movies. but, noooooo, i had to get sucked into this thing called literature.
if it weren't the drugs, he would be a master of the english language. that's roughly a quote that appears in the preface of naked lunch by william s burroughs. a very strange book. very real and powerful imagery that doesn't make much sense the first time you go over it. i'm going to have to re-read this one to fully understand it, but i can see why it had an obscenity trial and why people talk about it. it's not even a novel, it's more of a collection of imagery. intense-sometimes frightening--imagery. burroughs does not sugarcoat heroin addiction one bit. the visuals sucked me in and made my brain work overtime to ingest and digest all the words that kept following along the page like some disconjointed cohesive rant. not make sense, well, neither does he. but at the same time i'm kept with an overall impression of how that world functions and survives on junk. a fantastic read i recommend to people so inclined to enjoy a book of that nature.
federal appeals court ruled that self-published souces (like this one and all blogs) cannot be held responsible for libel. ala the king tony, nothing in here is true, and--legally--it doesn't have to be!
donald rumsfeld is actually used to be a cross dresser, but he didn't get a role in chicago when in high school. that influenced his life for evermore.
the fact that ever since we invented machines there have been books, movies, tv shows about them taking over and killing us, makes me think that they already have control over us and are using those works as propaganda films to make us think that it really couldn't happen, when, in fact, it already is really happening.
i own 16 planes, a 1935 ford roadster, the cleveland cavaliers, every dvd in existence and a lifetime supply of idiocy.
delaware is way cooler than any state that i have ever visited.
worcester is in the lead for the 2084 summer games.
i am cool.
7.04.2003
a gurg is the leader of the giants
so i think i have my conspiracy theory hippie coworker thinking i am, in fact, a republican--not that there is anything wrong with that.
the other night we got to talking about "the chip." you know the one. the one they put in your hand and it's your driver's license, bank account, medical records, blockbuster rentals, basically your entire identity.
i told him i was all for it.
that riled him up. he went off about how the agents in charge would use it as a control method to take away our freedoms. he said i have no value of freedom and that i'm power hungry. it was an interesting conversation. the whole time that he was ranting about whatever doomsday would emerge from everyone getting the chip, only one image kept popping into my head.
i sit my grandkids on my lap to hear another story about the dark times.
"my friend bobby said that you guys had something called 'money' in the old days."
"oh yes, before lord cheney and supreme chancellor rumsfield took charge and protected us from foriegn and domestic terrorists, we had to go into stores and hand people pieces of paper with pictures and words on it in order to get good and services. it was called currency"
"you actually handed them paper?" little christopher john III would ask.
"oh yes," i would respond with a hearty chuckle.
"you sure did some funny stuff when you were younger, grandpa."
"it wasn't all weird and bad. there were some good things about the old days." i would say, a bit misty-eyed about my younger years. but then i would catch a glimpse of the camera in the corner of my den. the one recording every action and word for the department of patriotism.
"but that was before the democrats were outlawed as a terrorist group supporting osama bin hussien, " i add just to keep my ass out of "reconditioning school"
my coworker did not like it that i was so gungho about the whole chip in my hand thing. i just kept spouting off about the convience of it all. not having to carry a wallet around. never fumbling for my price chopper advantage card again. i told him it would be nice. i said it would be easier to catch criminals, buy stuff, rent library books, etc. he complained that people would use that information to damage you. i said people could get that info now if they wanted to. he responded with "for someone that usually talks like a leftist, you have some weird ideas, chris."
yes, i do, man. yes, i do.
so i think i have my conspiracy theory hippie coworker thinking i am, in fact, a republican--not that there is anything wrong with that.
the other night we got to talking about "the chip." you know the one. the one they put in your hand and it's your driver's license, bank account, medical records, blockbuster rentals, basically your entire identity.
i told him i was all for it.
that riled him up. he went off about how the agents in charge would use it as a control method to take away our freedoms. he said i have no value of freedom and that i'm power hungry. it was an interesting conversation. the whole time that he was ranting about whatever doomsday would emerge from everyone getting the chip, only one image kept popping into my head.
i sit my grandkids on my lap to hear another story about the dark times.
"my friend bobby said that you guys had something called 'money' in the old days."
"oh yes, before lord cheney and supreme chancellor rumsfield took charge and protected us from foriegn and domestic terrorists, we had to go into stores and hand people pieces of paper with pictures and words on it in order to get good and services. it was called currency"
"you actually handed them paper?" little christopher john III would ask.
"oh yes," i would respond with a hearty chuckle.
"you sure did some funny stuff when you were younger, grandpa."
"it wasn't all weird and bad. there were some good things about the old days." i would say, a bit misty-eyed about my younger years. but then i would catch a glimpse of the camera in the corner of my den. the one recording every action and word for the department of patriotism.
"but that was before the democrats were outlawed as a terrorist group supporting osama bin hussien, " i add just to keep my ass out of "reconditioning school"
my coworker did not like it that i was so gungho about the whole chip in my hand thing. i just kept spouting off about the convience of it all. not having to carry a wallet around. never fumbling for my price chopper advantage card again. i told him it would be nice. i said it would be easier to catch criminals, buy stuff, rent library books, etc. he complained that people would use that information to damage you. i said people could get that info now if they wanted to. he responded with "for someone that usually talks like a leftist, you have some weird ideas, chris."
yes, i do, man. yes, i do.
7.03.2003
honey farms is for the man on the go
i got a little pamphlet from the people at axe the other day in a magazine i get. it had some juicy tidbits about how to deal with the woman. this i find to be the most amusing, and--as such--would like to share it with you, the loyal reader.
how to remove a hickey
an axe user may find in certain intimate encounters, the female tends to mark her territory by inflicting a contusion or "hickey." such hickeys, or love blisters, must be removed as soon as possible if the user plans to "start fresh" with another female (women will not be receptive to a young man with a hickey. those who do pursue him are likely seeking to initiate a hickey turf war, which could leave the user with severe yellow, blue and purple bruises and possible internal bleeding.).
you may find it necessary to interact with another female before the hickey has completely faded. in this case, you will need a thr (temporary hickey rationalization). here are some options:
(a) tell her your grandmother loves to pince you on the cheek, but the poor woman has osteoporosis--and because she's now a foot shorter, your neck is as high as she can get.
(b) all hickeys resemble a small country. if, for example, yours resembles denmark, explain to her that it's a temporary tatoo of denmark.
(c) in a selfless act to protest the abuse of elephants, you dove in front of a man who was shooting a tranquilizer dart at a baby elephant. you took the dart in your neck, but the elephant got away. be vague about where and when this happened.
note: do not wear a turtleneck. the damage to your social standing will outweigh any benefits of covering the hickey.
the steps:
1. chill a spoon or fork until it's freezing to the touch.
2. apply utensil to affected area. gently rub it on the bruise at 30-minute intervals until discoloration fades.
3. perform a complete self-inspection. you may have more hickeys than you realize.
i got a little pamphlet from the people at axe the other day in a magazine i get. it had some juicy tidbits about how to deal with the woman. this i find to be the most amusing, and--as such--would like to share it with you, the loyal reader.
how to remove a hickey
an axe user may find in certain intimate encounters, the female tends to mark her territory by inflicting a contusion or "hickey." such hickeys, or love blisters, must be removed as soon as possible if the user plans to "start fresh" with another female (women will not be receptive to a young man with a hickey. those who do pursue him are likely seeking to initiate a hickey turf war, which could leave the user with severe yellow, blue and purple bruises and possible internal bleeding.).
you may find it necessary to interact with another female before the hickey has completely faded. in this case, you will need a thr (temporary hickey rationalization). here are some options:
(a) tell her your grandmother loves to pince you on the cheek, but the poor woman has osteoporosis--and because she's now a foot shorter, your neck is as high as she can get.
(b) all hickeys resemble a small country. if, for example, yours resembles denmark, explain to her that it's a temporary tatoo of denmark.
(c) in a selfless act to protest the abuse of elephants, you dove in front of a man who was shooting a tranquilizer dart at a baby elephant. you took the dart in your neck, but the elephant got away. be vague about where and when this happened.
note: do not wear a turtleneck. the damage to your social standing will outweigh any benefits of covering the hickey.
the steps:
1. chill a spoon or fork until it's freezing to the touch.
2. apply utensil to affected area. gently rub it on the bruise at 30-minute intervals until discoloration fades.
3. perform a complete self-inspection. you may have more hickeys than you realize.
7.02.2003
i don't know how you do it
jennifer connelly is sitting on the beach next to me. this is somewhat of a surpise. we have a picnic spread out and i'm eating a delicious chicken salad sandwich.
it's a very warm day and the green surf is crashing quite loudly. she stands up and motions me to follow her. she starts walking away, and this is when i notice she's compeletly naked. i, of course, follow her. i look at my surroundings (mainly cuz i don't want jennifer to notice i'm staring at her ass) and notice that the sky is a pale green and the clouds are a bright red.
"why is the sky looking weird?"
she laughs heartily, "the sky looks exactly how you want it to look, silly."
i had no argument for that--the sky did look pretty cool.
we finally get to this building, looks like a gargae, and she opens the door. she points for me to go inside. it's completely black. i hesistate and she pushes me through.
now i'm in a tuxedo at this really, really expensive looking party. i don't quite know why i'm here, but i'll mingle.
the party sucks, everyone is speaking gibberish, i'm the youngest by about 40 years and there is no beer, so i leave.
once i exit out the door i'm in my high school hallway. not very surprised, i figure i'll go check out my locker. but before i get there, mrs. mcdonald sees me and hands me a pink slip (summons to a teacher or the office).
"chris reger! what are you doing out in the hallway?"
"um, i'm in study hall right now and was just getting more work from my locker" (blatant lie, i have no idea what i'm doing)
"alright. just don't screw around in the hallways, i know what you're up to."
"well, that makes one of us."
"what?"
"nothing"
"you're to head to the office."
so i go downstairs to the office, but when i'm about 10 meters from the door, the power goes out and several ninjas show up brandishing katanas, nunchucks, crossbows, crazy shit. they be doing indian burns, yo.
they soon surronded me. i knew i had no choice. it was to the death. it's always to the death with ninjas.
one after another they attacked me, but i remembered there is no spoon, and i whooped them back to the stone age.
after adjusting my necktie, i walked outside and stood on the front steps and looked at the gorgeous sky. it was a pale white with blue clouds racing by. green and yellow birds chasing insects crossed my field of vision.
"perfect"
i awoke and the clock said 10:30. i went back to sleep for another 4 1/2 hours.
jennifer connelly is sitting on the beach next to me. this is somewhat of a surpise. we have a picnic spread out and i'm eating a delicious chicken salad sandwich.
it's a very warm day and the green surf is crashing quite loudly. she stands up and motions me to follow her. she starts walking away, and this is when i notice she's compeletly naked. i, of course, follow her. i look at my surroundings (mainly cuz i don't want jennifer to notice i'm staring at her ass) and notice that the sky is a pale green and the clouds are a bright red.
"why is the sky looking weird?"
she laughs heartily, "the sky looks exactly how you want it to look, silly."
i had no argument for that--the sky did look pretty cool.
we finally get to this building, looks like a gargae, and she opens the door. she points for me to go inside. it's completely black. i hesistate and she pushes me through.
now i'm in a tuxedo at this really, really expensive looking party. i don't quite know why i'm here, but i'll mingle.
the party sucks, everyone is speaking gibberish, i'm the youngest by about 40 years and there is no beer, so i leave.
once i exit out the door i'm in my high school hallway. not very surprised, i figure i'll go check out my locker. but before i get there, mrs. mcdonald sees me and hands me a pink slip (summons to a teacher or the office).
"chris reger! what are you doing out in the hallway?"
"um, i'm in study hall right now and was just getting more work from my locker" (blatant lie, i have no idea what i'm doing)
"alright. just don't screw around in the hallways, i know what you're up to."
"well, that makes one of us."
"what?"
"nothing"
"you're to head to the office."
so i go downstairs to the office, but when i'm about 10 meters from the door, the power goes out and several ninjas show up brandishing katanas, nunchucks, crossbows, crazy shit. they be doing indian burns, yo.
they soon surronded me. i knew i had no choice. it was to the death. it's always to the death with ninjas.
one after another they attacked me, but i remembered there is no spoon, and i whooped them back to the stone age.
after adjusting my necktie, i walked outside and stood on the front steps and looked at the gorgeous sky. it was a pale white with blue clouds racing by. green and yellow birds chasing insects crossed my field of vision.
"perfect"
i awoke and the clock said 10:30. i went back to sleep for another 4 1/2 hours.
7.01.2003
howard stern is a genius
some days i want more adventure.
other days i've had enough adventure.
some days i want more explosions. jerry bruckheimer style.
other days i just want to sit around with my boys.
my life is not exciting enough.
but there's too much excitement most of the time.
depending on my mood and the weather (in my mind, not the blowing winds), i feel like i've never done anything "cool." why haven't i dared to be great?
but there have been times when i have been the greatest this world has ever seen. and will ever see.
i've ruled the world and been a slave to mankind.
i've always wanted to go on a grand adventure.
my life is very much a grandeous adventure.
how do you shake the feeling that you haven't lived up to your potential?
just stop and say, "fuck it. i'm going to do everything."
you could, but then the fear comes. the little voice in your head saying that you haven't done anything good yet, so why try to press the issue.
i like it when the voice says, "reger, look back on your life. you've done a helluva lot. influenced dozens of people. played integral parts in many people's personal dramas. you've risen to the occasion and persevered through it all. go kick some ass."
i like that voice.
but i don't hear it enough.
and who's fault is that? probably 100% mine.
it's hard shutting down the fear voice and then only listening to the courage voice.
i like the courage voice.
i don't like the fear voice, but he says things in such a nice, subtle way to make him almost believable.
my life is fantastic. it may not be where i imagined it 6, 7 years ago, but it's where it is now. and that's what i have to deal with.
i've had many grand adventures. i've played some great games. i've done more than a lot of people. i may have not seen a lot of the world geographically, but i've seen a lot of the world spiritually.
i may never completely silence the fear, but i can make the courage scream so loud that the fear is nothing but the quiet buzz of a computer fan. something you live with and have gotten used to, and doesn't bother you when you're trying to sleep--which is fear's prime time.
my courage will wake me up with it's screams of "CHARGE!"
my courage will get me through the day with it's war cry of "REGER'S COMING! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!"
my courage will lull me to sleep with bard-like tales of my exploits, and as i drift to dreamland, my subconscious thoughts will coalesce into fantasties of my next adventure.
which i will go on.
some days i want more adventure.
other days i've had enough adventure.
some days i want more explosions. jerry bruckheimer style.
other days i just want to sit around with my boys.
my life is not exciting enough.
but there's too much excitement most of the time.
depending on my mood and the weather (in my mind, not the blowing winds), i feel like i've never done anything "cool." why haven't i dared to be great?
but there have been times when i have been the greatest this world has ever seen. and will ever see.
i've ruled the world and been a slave to mankind.
i've always wanted to go on a grand adventure.
my life is very much a grandeous adventure.
how do you shake the feeling that you haven't lived up to your potential?
just stop and say, "fuck it. i'm going to do everything."
you could, but then the fear comes. the little voice in your head saying that you haven't done anything good yet, so why try to press the issue.
i like it when the voice says, "reger, look back on your life. you've done a helluva lot. influenced dozens of people. played integral parts in many people's personal dramas. you've risen to the occasion and persevered through it all. go kick some ass."
i like that voice.
but i don't hear it enough.
and who's fault is that? probably 100% mine.
it's hard shutting down the fear voice and then only listening to the courage voice.
i like the courage voice.
i don't like the fear voice, but he says things in such a nice, subtle way to make him almost believable.
my life is fantastic. it may not be where i imagined it 6, 7 years ago, but it's where it is now. and that's what i have to deal with.
i've had many grand adventures. i've played some great games. i've done more than a lot of people. i may have not seen a lot of the world geographically, but i've seen a lot of the world spiritually.
i may never completely silence the fear, but i can make the courage scream so loud that the fear is nothing but the quiet buzz of a computer fan. something you live with and have gotten used to, and doesn't bother you when you're trying to sleep--which is fear's prime time.
my courage will wake me up with it's screams of "CHARGE!"
my courage will get me through the day with it's war cry of "REGER'S COMING! GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY!"
my courage will lull me to sleep with bard-like tales of my exploits, and as i drift to dreamland, my subconscious thoughts will coalesce into fantasties of my next adventure.
which i will go on.
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