i hope my feet don't fail me now

meeting someone new always brings me a slight anxiety. is this person cool? are we going to relate on anything? do i want them in my circle of friends or do i need to drop this kid like a lit firecracker?

but then you have "the conversation." the one where you find that point that you both totally agree upon; you realize that your worldview, your experiences--hell, maybe even your goals--are all similiar enough that you become relieved that this person has entered your corner of earth.

it is even better when you have "the conversation" with established friends. when you re-enforce those bonds that brought you together in the first place. you renew that feeling when everything was the shit in your friendship. before the little tics and habits that constantly piss you off, but you always let them slide because you think, no--you know, that there is a love that only you and your boys can possess.

this ain't romantic love or family love. these are your boys. even if they move out of state or jobs and lifestyles keep you apart, you can always carry your certainty that it's just a phone call to their help if you need it.

some of my boys have moved on, i live with some of my boys, i've picked a couple new ones on my way. my words are not coming anywhere close enough to do the feeling of friendship justice.

but if you are reading this and you understand where i am coming from, then more power to you. at 23, i have friends i've had for half my life and i've had friends for a few months. i just hope some of them need me for the rest of my life the way i'll need them. because, buddy, blessed are those with friends and blessed are the friends.

uh i like it like that

suppose person 1, 2 and 3 are sitting in a room and person 4 walks in.

#4 takes something out of his pocket and hands it (say it is a really cool toy that person 1 would not mind owning) to person 1 who says, "what's this?"
person 2 responds "person X got that for you"
person 1 is going to think that it is a present for them.

the problem arises when person 2 was talking to person 4 and not to #1 who actually asked the question.
person 2 was wrong for answering the question like that. semantics or for just not paying attention to the conversation. just as long as we are clear on person 2 being wrong.

the olympics are now in full swing. i love the olympics. the idea of pure sport and pure competition is what i like to see and experience.
which is why i hate the way the nbc commentators are always talking about medals and how the americans are trying to win everything. ugh. it just seems such an american-centric thing to say. yes, it is great that our nation's athletes are some of the best in the world and we do kick all around ass living in this country of ours, but i feel that is missing the point of the olympics.
growing up i used to watch the canadian station (cbc) coverage of the olympics because they offered a more rounded view of what was going on at the games than the american stations.
i wish our media would realize that it is the ideals of the olympics that make the games great, not which country takes home the gold.

sometimes opportunity doesn't knock

and it just sits on your front porch because it is a complete idiot.

having digital cable has slowly evolved my tv viewing patterns into something i don't know if i can handle for much longer.

5:30pm is jeopardy on channel 8. this is about the only thing i watch at a specific time. i absolutely love this show and it is on just before i go to work, so i'm usually always home.
the ondemand movie selection that comes free with the hbo, cinemax and starz package has also changed my appreciation of tv. it's gone from an 8.8 to a 9.9. watching all of these movies AT ANY TIME YOU WANT was more than i asked for when i signed up.
then there is the requeisite sportscenter. i'll watch any viewing of the show. it's usually the 4 or 5 am show just before i go to bed.

what has really changed my life is the music video channels. i spend way more time than i should flipping back between all of them.
fuse: not bad, lots of alternative a bit too much whiny emo/punk/pop/rock, though
m2: good because they play beavis and butthead at 3am
mtv jams: all hiphop all the time, but not necessarily good hiphop all the time
mtv hits: if it is song that plays on jams, vh1 soul or vh1 megahits, it's good otherwise it is trl garbage
mtv espanol: spanish videos are the funniest, but only because i have no clue what they are singing.
vh1 classic rock: which is really more 80s than classic rock (which i think was mainly late 60s and the 70s)
vh1 soul: i think this is the best one of all of them. it has the best videos consistently. and they play the more powerful version of kanye west's "jesus walks" video.
vh1 mega hits: from the early 90s on, all the classic rock and pop videos of my generation

i bet i waste at least 10-12 hours a week on these channels. before you start judging, most of those hours are when the roomies and guests are all hanging out. we get a variety of music and something to watch if the conversation lulls. so we have a point dammit.

Lemme tell it to you one mo' again
All I got to do is tell a girl who I am (Petey!)
Ain't naa chick in here dat I can't have
Bada boom bada bam ba bam!
--"goodies" by ciara featuring petey pablo

don't say nuthin

first, i found the worst panda express on the planet. i have eaten at a lot of panda expresses. it is just one of those food court staples that i seek out.
on the h concourse food court of o'hare airport in chicago sits the worst panda express ever. sloppy service, too much english spoken (hell even some white folks were working there), the beef and broccolli was shaved beef with brown gravy. the fried rice was more like dried rice. it was just so disappointing.
it shatters a conception i had about the panda express being one of the greatest food court venues of all time. it will take me a while to recover.

yesterday i think was officially the last day of summer for me. it was absolutely beautiful outside. i was hanging out with friends. it could not have gotten any better.
but it was the end of summer. all this weekend almost every one of my worcester friends will be in vermont for the phish show or tke retreat. i will be working. then just under a month school starts up again for everybody. working and school and finding time to relax basically sucks.
the summer is by far the best. you work and chill out.
summer rules.
only if it wasn't so damn hot...

God show me the way because the Devil's tryna to break me down
(Jesus Walks with me)
The only thing that I pray is that me feet don't fail me now
(Jesus Walks)
And I don't think there is nothing I can do now to right my wrongs
(Jesus Walks with me)
I want to talk to God but I'm afraid because we ain't spoke in so long.
--"jesus walks" by kanye west

the twins played 18 innings and only got one loss.

well, i just got back to my parent's after spending the whole weekend with my extended family.

just a few quick notes:
1. too many members of my family listen to country music. the problem i have with country music (and i think pop music) is that it is too narrative. not enough imagery and analogies and lyrics that make no sense. country music is too straight forward for my style.

2. too many members of my family watch nascar. and by too many, i mean more than zero.

3. i never get to see my little cousins enough. the joy of trying to find your hat that 3 of them are hiding on you is a joy that everyone needs in their life. so is playing the "pick me up and let's go tap the big people on the head" game. the only equipment you need for that one is a 4 year old.

4. trying to do family pictures with 20+ in the picture is near impossible.

5. i wish i could come home more.

qotd: "they kept telling me that you moved back to hibbing and that you're an alcoholic...i told them you probably did that out in wooster."--my sister katie.

I need a hero

I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the end of the night
He’s gotta be strong
And he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I’m holding out for a hero ‘til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure
And it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

bonnie tyler's lyrics hold true today just as they did back in the 80s.
a short list of my heroes is as follows (and by heroes i more mean people that have really fucking cool lifestyles that while a) they help society out in some manner they also b) make a ton of money):

john stewart--the host of the daily show is one of my favorite people. his job is to be sarcastic about the news and then interview celebrities and pundits and authors and politicians and make fun of them.

jack black--he has musical talent, which i have none of. he acts in movies, which i could if discovered, and he just keeps on rocking. he's funny all the time. subtract the enormous amounts of coke that he snorts, and his life is pretty cake.

molly ivins--she's a syndicated columnist (the most bullshit job in the history of employment) that i find to be very intelligent. while quite the liberal, she does make some good points and i usually find her arguments against conservatives at least well constructed unlike some of her counterparts that i also find on the editoral page.

lotd: this land
qotd: "king kong ain't got nothing on me!"-- b-rad from malibu's most wanted

when sheriff john brown comes for you

I leave for the blogging world for 3 months and all of sudden no one else is blogging. isaac, dan, madpony, chunshek everybody is all out of the blog world. many different reasons, but i feel as though i missed a memo or something. i enjoyed all of those insights, ramblings, commentaries, whatever you want to call them. so now i must carry on the torch.

as the D would say: rock ON!

peter gammons claims that one of the best things for baseball would be for the minnesota twins to win the world series. after watching them blank the anaheim angels last night 10-0, i am getting the bug. i knew they would win the AL central again. it is the weakest division in baseball. even when the chisox were threatening, i was not concerned. now they are clicking and have a 5 game lead in the division.

let's look at the other probable AL playoff teams. in the east, you have the yankees. their pitching will self destruct this postseason just as it did in 2002. brown is about the best thing on that team and he's just getting back from an injury. they will go nowhere.
the A's are in the lead out west, but they have a nice curse going on the last few years that they can't make it the fall classic. and the twins made a improbably comeback in 2002 against them, as did the red sox last year, so the A's are broken.
the rangers could make the playoffs as the wildcard, but the only reason they are having a good season is because a-rod left. teams always do this when their overpaid superstar leaves. they exceed expectations until it really counts and they fall. it has been well documented.
then we have the red sox. i actually hope they get the wild card. that way, they play the A's in the first round and the underdog twins can whoop on the yankee's. then we whomp on the red sox in the alcs. and maybe i can get tickets to fenway and get my ass kicked by angry sox fans when the twinkies wrap up the series in game 4 at the fen.
then whoever comes out of the NL will have to put up with the twins facing destiny. let it be the cards. we won the 87 series agains them. the dodgers traded deluca away, so they lost some of the heart they had before. and gagne is no longer invincible--still really good, but not invincible. we beat the braves in 91 for the best world series of all time (kirby in game 6, then jack morris in game 7). and the wild card can be the cubbies, and they will lose because nomar is the one with the curse. he can't win the big one. he has a jerk agent.
so come october, the twins will be going to disneyland.

link of the day (lotd): sportsguy.net bill simmons page updated everyday. espn's greatest columnist and one of my heroes.

quote of the day(qotd): "havin' a girl as a friend is like having 19 dollars in your bank account and looking at your ATM card"--cash

i don't remember the last 3 months

that's a total lie. i remember what i did the last three months. not totally interesting. i moved into a new apartment (172 russell st, if you are ever in worcester).

but don't come visit right now because this week i am in minnesoter. rocking the home state for my sister's high school grad party. she will be attending u of wisconsin stevens point in just a few short weeks.

i know i make the promise to write here everyday after i quit for a couple months, and this being my third such break, i will stop with the bullshit and just post whenever the hell i feel like it. which--for the next few weeks--should be quite regular now that i have decided to care again.

observations i would like to share:
i read the sixth book in the dark tower series--song of susannah. the book is completely superb. i was a little worried about a couple plot devices, but king was able to pull it all together. the seventh--and final (*tear*)--volume will come out soon, and i cannot wait. when it is all over i do not know what i will do. this is the first book series that i discovered while it was still being written. i've been waiting 10 years for these final books to be published. i love books.

a friend of mine got a job at trader joe's. he got the job basically because he wanted something to do for the summer. this absolutely blew me away. all his bills are paid for. money is not an issue. it was basically for extra spending cash. i do not understand this. if i did not need the money i would not work. i just wouldn't. working takes up WAY too much of my day. and i don't get enough non-work days in a week. i want something where a check is deposited into my bank every couple weeks (and not welfare!). i am basically left with the lottery, but the odds are so shitty that it is not a viable enough risk to take. unless the jackpot is up over 200 mil. then i'll drop $5. but if i did not have to work, i sure as hell would not.

the manchurian candidate has been remade with denzel washington. remaking classic movies which are really good to begin with is a trend that i despise with hollywood. the original candidate with the chairman is a fantastic film. but what really bothers me is the commercial for the new one that has a quote from some critic that basically says: no one will breathe in the final 30 minutes of the movie. can this quote be any more stupid? if no one breathes for half an hour they will die.

i have been listening to the tenacious d album so much in the last couple weeks. jack black is my new hero. the ten commandments of the d are nothing but pure, unadulterated genius.
1. Never stop Rocking.
2. Legalize all drugs.
3. Quit your day job.
4. All Religion should be taxed.
5. Cut down on carbohydrates.
6. Fuck her gently.
7. Never believe what people tell you after a show.
8. Always take a spoon full of Metamucil after a heavy day of eating.
9. Get at least 9 hours of sleep a day.
10. Eatin' ain't cheatin'.

for everyone that tells me that my political viewpoints will not ever take hold in the mainstream, i leave you with this quote from florence kennedy:
be patient. it may take thirty years, but sooner or later they'll listen to you, and in the meantime, keep kicking ass.