thou and thee and all that

so, i'm a little behind the tiems.
i just finally watched sideways today.
good movie.

it peaks my interest in wine.
i just don't have the money or the time, or when it comes down to it, the desire--the drive--to really get into wine.

but the hype about being this huge wine movie--how it opened up the wine industry--i think, is a load. i hate sensationalism.
wine is really the vehicle for the story.

a man reaching a breakng point in his life, he approaches his rock bottom, but in the course of the film and through the adventures he has, the lesson, as always: life is there for the grabbing.

life scares the ever-living shit out of me on a continual basis.
mainly because it takes a constant, conscious decision not to blow it.
and until that constant, conscious attention becomes effortless--which, i have found takes a long time--life can be a struggle.

a daily grind that can wear you down.

but there is a purpose to it all: just do what you can to be happy.
and not just content. happy. a big difference that, i feel, is the biggest cause of misery and emotional distress this side of war.

ever notice how i keep saying this stuff all the time? i think this is what i write about the most. how to persevere. how to get it all together and live a life of fulfillment.

but for everyone that knows me in my real life, i am quite far from heeding my own advice. but, hey, i'm only 25. at least i know i'm screwed up.

steelers 31, seahawks, 27

and carla is the best scrabble player this side of the mississippi.

fleeting

well, debt, i told you we would be reaquainted.
now we are, for the tune of $15k over 5yrs.

but i now own a brand spankin' new mazda 3. in titanium grey.

american idol has started up again, and some article i was reading--i don't remember where--said that ai represents america, in our constant overdog vs underdog mentality that we show.

i think it shows, especially these tryout shows, another part of america: our blindness to our abilities.

here we think we are the best at everything. everything about america and everything in america is the greatest/best/most awesome/the shit. whatever superlative you want.

but do we know our limitations? all these people tryout that look and sound like they honestly believe that have talent. when very few of them have anything resembling talent! then they get upset and indignant when they are given an honest evalution of their abilities.

if you can't face your weaknesses and the things that are holding back and receive criticisim with an open mind, then you will not be able to move forward with your goals.


another thing, i can't wait to see who gets it when this whole lobbying thing plays out in dc. i hope a 100 politicians go down on this one. clean house! vive la revolution!

anyway, no matter what, i'm voting for 3rd party candidates in november.
the dems are going to win massachusetts anyways.

$15k of debt

hello debt.

we have known each other quite well over the last five years. you were always in my life. an addiction i could not get away from.

i started ignoring you. i wouldn't go to your parties. i even stopped saying hi when i saw you on the street.

that was probably harder for you than me. i was always so good to you, debt. but you did nothing but beat me down.

but i was getting over you. i was beginning to control your effect on my life, debt. you were no longer in charge.

then a freaking head gasket cracks on my car and now i have 3 options, 2 of which put me in some kind of debt.
1. spend $1500 fixing a car i bought for $1200
2. buy a $2500-3000 car with some money from the most wonderful woman.
3. buy a brand new car (a small sedan, probably) that will put me back $15000.

while, i don't think 1 is worth it. 2 is what got me in trouble this time, buying an old used car.

so it looks like option 3.

so today i will be going into worcester and looking at some cars.

say what you want about my choices of cars, but here are my top 2 vehicles i am looking at:

mazda3 4 door

saturn ion

so wish me luck, debt. you and i are going to be quite close for the next 5-6 years again, you bitch.

new year, new resolution, new round of failure

on new year's eve, my buddy ryan brought up that i don't blog anymore. he thought it was because i don't have a hook. and he's right.

when i was an unemployed college dropout hiding from creditors and responsibility, it was easy to write. i was looking for something to fill my life, and this was an excellent forum.

now, i feel that i have life pretty under control. i live in a nice place, i have a career, and i'm in love with a wonderful woman.

so what's my hook? talk about how rosy my life is? bitch about politics? write about sports? post daily haikus?

none of that. it really comes down to what made this so interesting to write--and hopefully read--before: my life.

all the little nuances and quirks that is being reger.

that's what i want to write about.

why i am the way i am, think the way i think, feel the way i feel.

blogger is my therapist.

i also know that in the past that i have made this threat and never followed through with it.

but again, that's me.

so if this is the only post you see for 6 months, so be it.
but if i end up blogging 2-3 times a week--or, christ, daily--don't be surprised either. especially those that know me personally.

peace. i'm out.

lucky there's a family guy

we have a problem with dumpster divers at work.

being a grocery store most of what we throw away is broken packages or spoiled food.

now combine that with 90+ heat we have been having the last couple weeks, and anything tossed out there will be crawling with bacteria in just a couple hours.

and every day we have to tell people not to jump in our dumpster and dig around for food.

and we even have regulars.

i am not bothered by them getting free food, they are just taking full advantage of the system, but it is the health risks they are taking.

the food is crawling with bacteria! most of that stuff in there needs to be refrigerated. by the end of the day it will lead to nothing but food poisoning. these people will either get sick or they have intestinal tracts of steel. and if so, they need to be studied by science.

but in reality i just think they are stupid. i may be a bit judgmental here, but i think they are stupid.

you motorboated her, didn't you?

today is my saturday.
tomorrow is my sunday.
saturday is my monday.

that is what the world of retail does to you. when the vast majority of wage workers are enjoying the world, you prepare yourself for another 50+ hours (plus commute!) of work.

i am so glad i love my job and they pay me well, because those two facts do not keep me from despising the very concept of working for a living.

i also dispese the whole steroid thing in baseball. it wasn't illegal in the sport, so who cares if they used it. an extra edge to get better stats and better pay? who can blame them?

that is what happens when the profitability of the sport becomes more important than the sport itself. That's why the olympics don't mess around, nor other organizations, like the tour de france. that's one of the many reasons lance is kick-ass. granted, he had to lose a testicle, but he is all nat-tur-ral. and selig needs to grow a pair.

i'm mainly pissed at baseball because the twins have dropped from solid wild card to please finish above .500; i feel as though my optimism from the early months of the season were wasted.

but now the perennial disappointments of the vikings are starting up soon, so i can completely forgot about baseball.

engagements and sisters

june 23, 2007
my sister called me last night during a power outage, so this phone call was the highlight of my night even before i found out why she was calling.

She is getting married to this guy she has been dating for the last 4 months.

they have been dating since april, then thursday night he dropped the rock, and now they have a 22 month engagement ahead of them.

she will be moving in with the guy in february. in plymouth, mn.

i didn't expect her to beat me to the punch on getting married, but that's cool. if she is happy and excited about it, then i should only be supportive.

and i am.

cuz i just saw wedding crashers thursday night, and--let me tell you--i have a whole new appreciation for weddings and receptions.

again, vince vaughn has impressed me with how to live my life. swingers, old school, and now wedding crashers, he is the one.

i only hope my sister plays "shout" at the reception.