i am losing my capacity to care about school. 2 weeks left including finals week, and i am getting tired of it. i just did some homework and checked up on a couple classes online. it looks like Bs across the board again, which is fine with me. i just want to finish this degree. this post may get whiny, but i am in a whiny mood.
5 years ago, i would have been hard pressed to believe you if you told me at 23 i would be a 2 time college dropout, looking at 2 more years of school, and the vast majority of my college boys settling down successfuly in the real world.
there was a time when i considered myself one of the most intelligent and most together people around.
2 things wrong with that image. first, i am way more intelligent now than i was then, where i now realize that i am still a complete idiot.
second, i don't have shit together. i am barely able to function as a normal member of society. any of my friends could tell you that.
ugh. i'm such a whiny bitch.
basically spending a weekend with my friends i came to college with (who have been out for a year with degrees), has made me feel way less secure about myself and what i am trying to do with my life. these guys all have jobs, one is going to take over his own company, a couple are definately close to being married (one is doing it in a month!).
i am that friend that hasn't done anything. and then they ask what i'm up to when i haven't seen them for awhile, and i feel embarrassed telling them "worcester state, nite stock at trader joe's." it feels like saying "loser."
not there is anything wrong with what i'm doing, it's just not the 5 year plan i started out on. and i think i feel embarrassed more for the reason that they all knew me when it looked like i was on the same track as them, not the "that guy" track.
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