you got me on my knees

i've finally realized that it is good that i'm a couple pounds (read: 30-40 lbs) over my ideal weight.

1. the gut acts as a pillow for the girlfriend. if we were cuddling on the couch and i didn't have the gut, she would have to rest her head on a rock hard six pack. that just isn't comfy.

2. the love handles act as natural ledges so when i'm carrying boxes there isn't as much stress on my arms.

3. i'm always warm.

4. only two kinds of guys were hawaiian shirts: gay guys and big, fat party animals.

5. i never get tired of hearing the "when's the baby due?" joke.

6. if i was stuck on a deserted island with a skinny person, they would die first from starvation and then i could eat what was left of them.