summer is latin for high humidity

summer's coming and i'd like a review.

i've been having "real-time dreams." these usually happen to me when i wake up from a loud noise or the blanket not being on me anymore, and i look at the clock and it's only a half hour before my stupid alarm is going to go off. i hate this stretch of time. i'll fall back asleep and usually drop right into rem sleep. i whip out a fairly quick and very real dream and wake up about 7 minutes later. looking at the clock and feeling slightly disoriented because i've just had a very real dream that in my head only lasted about 7 minutes. you know how most dreams are like hours of time or at least a decent chunk? when i have my mini-dreams in the mornings, they only last in my head for as long as i'm asleep. i'll run through 3 or 4 of these minirealtimedreams on any morning where i'm awakened about a 0.5 hour before i want to. it's not that i don't like them or do like them. the realness and brevity of them are the intriguing parts that i want to explore.

being a hippie has nothing to do with tye-dye, marijuana, hallucinogens, lack of showering, or owing a dead album.
it's a choice to not to buy into the consumerist materialism of american pop culture.
it's a choice to live with the idea that relationships and real happiness are what we should strive for in our life.
it's a choice to be open-minded and realizing that others will have opinions, but you have the opportunity to both be teacher and student to them.
if that's what you do with your life, face up--you're a hippie.

God damn hippies.

i'm the scatman

ski bi di bi di do bap do bap
do ba do bap

i did something today which is taboo. or at least taboo in public. i scratched my ass.
and it was glorious. i was getting ready to take a shower and i was standing there admiring my beautiful body in the mirror when i felt a bit of an itch. so i scratched. and the more i scratched, the more it itched. so i kept scratching. and i mean the whole of the buttocks. it felt so good. some may find the ass scratching unappealing, and i'll agree that in public it's not that flattering. but i tell you the sheer satisfaction i felt was well worth any ostracization i will recieve. it may have been the most satisfying itch i have ever relieved. my reasoning for spending some quality time with my buttocks was:
1. i'm alone
2. i have an adequate supply of cleaning supplies in the shower
3. my butt itched.

the hi temperature was 76 F today. the quad got up to 85. somehow, the attic of a 90 year old house doesn't have good ventilation. this i don't understand. what i do understand is that there will be days of 90F and 80% humidity here in worcester county this summer, and that means 100+ in the quad. this means i will be in the basement for a good chunk of the summer reveling in the utterly amazing fact that cool air sinks. and it sinks right into our basement that has a cable hookup and plenty of space for a tv and a couple couches. sa-weet.

dorksayswhat

you know, the very fact that you oppose this makes me think i'm on to something.

wanted: a life that had some sort of meaning. must have: ambition, drive, a healthy diet, a postivie attitude. not needed: selfishness and assholeness.

for sale: a lazy personality, a potential wasting attitude, and an out-of-shape physique. priced to move. one american dollar or b.o.

AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH

and you're innocent because?

this makes me think that the homeland security department is redundant.

living in new england, namely the state that thinks it is the shiznit of all shiznit--verm, whoops--massachusetts, i get a lot of flak for commenting on how good a team the new york yankees are. no matter how you feel about the economic situation of baseball, no matter how much you hate the pretty boys on the team, no matter how much you wish your team would plunk down $675,787,500,000 for the 8th starter on your roster, no matter how much of a red sox fan you are, you have to admit that the yankees are a pretty darn good team.
how about their starters going 16-0 so far this season? or how they outhomer their opponents 43-5? or that the yankee home run total equals detroits run total? (through april 23) or that as of this morning they are on pace to win 138 games?
for all they are hated, steinbrenner and co. make sure to get the highest quality players so they can be cream of the crop every year. don't bitch about them taking advantage of how the game is set up, bitch about how your team doesn't even try to do the same...

i never worried about iraq being a threat to the united states. i worry about north korea.

penguins worship me

why fox news is the greatest.

i just may move to alabama because of this.

i just read Way of the Peaceful Warrior upon a recommendation by steve. i now recommend this book to you. bit of a hippish tilt to it--i was even leary of a few of points in it. but overall, i enjoyed the book and it raises many good points including my lack of a teacher.

i was thinking about the people that are of a like-minded spiritual journey with me, and how we don't have anyone that has done this before poking and proding us along--especially when we beging to falter. steve said it was ok because we had all of us "and the drugs." while that's all well and good, i still think that it would be easier for me to follow the path if i had a mentor. someone that has been here before and can offer words of encouragement--and/or ridicule, depending on what i need. right now, i'm just forging my own path. i'm aware of there being an end to the woods. i just don't know where the meadow is. or if i want to find it yet...

life, in a two-part saga

from my idealist, hippie, commie self-image:
i exist.
blah, blah, blah. some esoteric bullshit about how i've had an experience, an insight, an epipha--blah, blah, blah.
well, that's all life is--experience. and the reason i share is because others have shared with me. pay it forward. if i can help someone--anyone--make a leap of logic (faith) towards their ideal of enlightenment than i have done some good in this world.
i exist.
and beyond what you think. beyond a mind/body dualism. beyond western science and eastern mysticism. beyond simple terran biology.
i exist.
i have a soul. the only point left to ponder: am i worth it?

from my realist, anti-authority, lazy real-image:
i am an asshole.
in more than one way. i can be the jovial sarcastic "hey-ho, jolly good one chap" asshole. but i am also the "put you down cuz i have problems with my own self-esteem issues" kind of asshole. and that's not good for business. that's not good for anybody.
i have this unerring ability to be a dick. i get this utterly condescending tone, i make belittling remarks, and i don't hold back anything. i do this--making people feel inferior--for multiple reasons.
1. you are slower than me. not really fair, but if you can't make the same dizzying mental leaps as i, i hate you.
2. you are faster than me. not really fair, but if you make dizzying mental leaps better than i, i hate you.
3. you disagree with me. completely fair, because i am always right.
there has been a nagging thought in the back of my mind for probably about a year now, and it's finally coming to the forefront in the last couple months or so. i don't think people really like assholes.
this may come as a shock to you--it sure did me. now it's a lot harder trying to stop being an ass than it was to be an ass. taking into account others feelings, view points, blah, blah, blah. i can do this when i actually think about it. when it's a conscious effort. but when i'm shooting from the hip, i'm firing all six chambers of dick-bullets. 100% asshole steel getting pumped at whatever target happened to make an attack at my intelligence or philosophy or simply didn't understand my point.

from the conglomerate of the two (and a bit o' pop cult):
there's a passage I got memorized. ezekiel 25:17. "the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. and i will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. and you will know i am the Lord when i lay my vengeance upon you." i been sayin' that shit for years. and if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. i never really questioned what it meant. i thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker 'fore you popped a cap in his ass. but i saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. wow I'm thinkin', it could mean you're the evil man. and i'm the righteous man. and mr. .45 here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. or is could by you're the righteous man and i'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. i'd like that. but that shit ain't the truth. the truth is you're the weak. and i'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin'. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd.

10011001


Well, u-- um, can we come up and have a look?


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thomas jefferson said we should revolt every 50 to 100 years.

i thank my friend adriane for introducing me to this world.