a world-wide search

net service at tke went down on friday night. and i knew that i needed to find a stable connection to continue my writing and surfing and procrastinating. so i knew there was only one thing to do. leave worcester and scour the globe for a decent internet connection. i drove to the worcester airport, hijacked a cessna, flew to new york and stowed away on a concorde. i'm very, very sneaky.

so paris was a nice town with some good sights. but my inablility to find a good freedom fries stand made me leave quickly. if a country can't accomodate my outrageous american-centric demands, i have no choice but to move on.

next stop was cairo. the pyramids were nice. but when i started screaming "USA! USA! USA!" and distributing 8x10 glossies of W with the caption "our messiah", some of the locals got a restless look in their eye. i could see it in the reflection of their drawn swords pressed against my throat.

bombay, land where all convience store employees are swedish. only a 56k was available to me. i mean, i want internet, but that would be like using a flinstone car when i know there is a maserati around here somewhere. so i dropped in with the dalai lama for some tea, and he said to me "gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga"

shanghai, the silicon valley of china, was full of highspeed internet access. but i can't speak, write or read chinese, so i was screwed. and the guy next to me looked like he was SARSing out, and i do not need no none of that.

hop, jump, skip, i'm in seattle. the microsoft mecca. where starbucks flows like water. but i tried using mozilla and i was assaulted by a couple of gates' paramilitary thugs. i fended them off with a tablet pc to the skull.

then i remembered that my parents have a cable modem. so on tuesday, after many hours of wandering the globe, i came to hibbing. and there was my broadband. glorious, glorious broadband. 24, 7 dedicated to my cruising of the world wide web. of course, they have the resolution set to 800x600. the letter e is roughly six inches tall on the monitor. the close buttons on windows look like strike markers for apaches. it's nuts. but the rents are getting old, the ol' eyes are getting weak. i'll let them have their little idosyncracies.

but i'm home for a week. got my uncle's wedding on saturday. not much else planned. maybe some fishing. probably some shenanigans (cute and cheeky ones) with my friends. but not much else.

til next time, take care of yourselves and each other.