so let me tell you this: I am not a morning person. I am NOT a morning person. I am not a MORNING person. the day should not even think about rousing me out of bed before 9AM. and, if for some God-awful reason, the day is able to trick me into getting out of bed before i want to, there will be consequences. as in i'll take a nap in the afternoon. and not regret it. not one bit. actually, i shot my mouth off before i thought it through all the way. the reason i hate getting up early is because i go to bed so damn late. if i went to bed at a normal hour, i could probably get up early no problem. i really need to stop blaming my problems on the first issue i can rant about and instead figure out why i have the problem. this is a major thing i need to work on. until then, i think i'll just bitch about everything. HA!

so i went to breakfast at gold star with blomberg this morning before i took him back to the airport. i drank a lot of coffee while we were there. i had to. it was 7 fucking A in the M. so anyway, by the time i dropped him off at terminal B, i had to piss like a racehorse. so i parked in the parking lot and looked for a bathroom. it took entirely way too long to find one. the point i was driving at is i had to pay $2 to park and go to the bathroom. i think that is some kind of injustice. of exactly what liberty of mine is being violated i don't quite know, but i'm sure the ALCU could come up with something.

so the BWAD has turned into the BW. i didn't make one day without having A or D again. now, this could make me look weak willed. (which i am. i won't deny the truth) but it also points to a common thread i like to pursue. and that is of making my goals completely unattainable, so off the mark, so far-fetched that when i fail i can just be like "well, shit. did you see what i wanted to do? that's impossible, of course i couldn't do it. i'm just happy with the little bit i accomplished." but this little exercise with the alcohol and stuff has made me realize that it's all about baby steps. do things you know you can. you have to learn how to crawl before you can run, you know? if i can do one small thing, and then a little bit bigger thing, soon my outlandish goal of being in Congress doesn't seem so far-fetched. but i have to actually stick with this plan. this is where the laziness factor comes into play. i think it will actually help with the butts, though. since i don't have any butts now, i'm too lazy to go to the store to buy them. so if i just make sure not to go to a store when i have a craving for a cigarette, my laziness will actually help me to quit smoking. how pathetic is that? truly pathetic is the answer we're going for here.

now on a completely different subject, do you think that God and Jesus play foos for our souls? I'm talking Old Testament God with the fire and brimstone, burning Sodom and Gomorrah and all the vengeful smite-filled stuff versus the big JC who embodies all that is pure and radiant and white in the world. do they go at it over our souls? wouldn't that be an interesting thing. you get to watch Jesus and God play foos over your eternal soul. JC wins, you're in. God wins, he can either let you in, or smite you to HELL. (it is his call, he IS God). now, i give God the slight advantage since he's been around since the beginning of time and he invented the game and all that jazz. but i bet Jesus has got one nasty bank shot that not even God Almighty Himself can hope to stop. and i'll bet that he calls it Mary Magdelene cuz there was nothing sweeter than that fine woman's ass. blasphemy's not that bad of a sin, right? right? shit, is that a lightening storm forming in my room?