vh1 insomniac music theatre

i didn't switch my sleep schedule yesterday to daywalker time. i was still on graveyard shift time, so i ended up staying up most of the night last night even though i didn't have to work.

to pass the time i decided to check out what pop culture i'm missing out on, so for two hours this morning i watched vh1--seeing if i was still hip or not. apparently, i'm not.

to better understand me as a person, here are some of my thoughts on music today.

i don't even think that any of the people in metallica's st. anger video had ever spent any time in san quentin. that video sucked. that song sucked. all the new metallica sucks. not even in the their-older-shit-is-so-much-better kind of suck. it just sucks. as in kenny-g suck

it may hurt my social standing to admit so, but i like uncle kracker's music.

thalia is like gloria estafen's younger, hotter sister.

maroon 5 came on and did a decent song. my question, is where the hell did these guys come from? and who decided that they actually sounded different enough from the 5000 other bands that sound exactly like them to warrant a record deal?

it is a good thing that beyonce has one of the best bodies in music. cuz she can't act worth a damn. putting aside even the horror that was her performance in austin powers, she couldn't even act well in the scenes she had with jay-z. i've seen coma patients with more convincing emotion.

i just completely spaced out for an entire ashanti video. i even managed to go get a glass of water during it. i don't remember anything.

celine dion got a new hairstyle. she's still got a pretty good body for being like what? 40? 50? and canadian? but her hair cut has to go. i want her hair style from when she was good wholesome celine. the titanic celine. she looks like a cancer patient.

now, santana does all these songs with all these different singers. i want to know what happens when they go on tour. does santana just bounce around the country stopping in on concerts of people he's worked with and performing with them for that night. or is santana that cool that he gets to tell the other people when and where to be for shows? it's gotta be the latter. he is santana.

so kid a and amnesiac were kind of weird--they were still good. but the new radiohead is fantastic. i was a little wary at first, cuz it took me a while to get into amnesiac and i didn't know what direction they were going with in this new one. but i definately enjoy the overall sound of the album, and the political statements that they are not-so-subtlely tossing in there for us stupid yanks are a nice little treat.

ever since she came out, i always thought she was ridiciously hot. but in this new song and video, jewel looks and sounds hotter than ever before. i can't use "most beautiful in the world" (that title is already taken), but i will apply the label sultry to jewel. and she can yodel!

i usually don't pay attention to commercials that much. i hate almost every commercial out there. except for the beer ones. those are hilarious. and the sobe radio ads, but if you're looking for a blanket statement, i hate commercials, is a good one. but i just may buy rasta jamz.

there were only a couple times during my viewing that i felt as though i was little too out of touch with what the kids were listening to today. the first was when blue man group and gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame did a song together for the terminator 3 soundtrack. it was good, but the whole time i was thinking, "man, it's 5:10 in the morning and i'm watching the blue man group do a song with gavin rossdale of i'm-sleeping-with-gwen-stefani fame and i can't wait to blog about it." i am such a loser.

i thought liz phair was like this 50 year old brunette that was making a comeback career. turns out she's a much younger blonde girl that makes decent music.

madonna's die another day caused two emotions to well up. one, disgust. at how terrible that movie is and how the james bond lineage is deteriorating. second, curiousity. how many kids do you have to have and how old do they have to be before you can be considered a milf? cuz i don't remember.

the lead singer from goo goo dolls is going to look exactly like rod stewart does today in like 20 years. mark my words. vegas already has a line on this.

i heard avril lavigne give an interview one time. and i was thinking, what is this? she sounds like a teenager! then i realized, she is a teenager. i really hate it when celebrities shatter my unrealistic image of them by acting like themselves.

this is an old question, but it is still unanswered: why don't british bands sound british when they sing?

gwen stefani could be wearing month old dog carcasses and she would still look good. just throwing that one out there.

the second time i felt like i was out of touch with the current crowd was also the time that i felt glad that i don't really like a lot of the music that is popular today. busta rhymes does a song with mariah carey. now, nothing wrong with busta's music. i like his style. but to colaborate with mariah carey? the girl that went from sweet, sweet girl next door mariah carey to strumpet mariah carey? she's just a whore now. at least that's what her image conveys to me, and you know, maybe i'm reading it wrong and she's trying to come across as a feminist for the 21st century, i don't know. but maybe she should look into a new stylist if that's what she is going for.

after that song, i knew they had to play a good one next to get me to stay. they started a new show and put the new beyonce song back on. and while i wouldn't mind the eye candy, the volume was still at an audible level, so i got up and hit the power button.

they reminded me at least a half dozen times in two hours, but i'll only tell you once: 200 greatest pop culture icons countdown premieres july 21