i'm petitioning mother nature to never make it above 90 in portland again

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we are in the first hot stretch of the year.  which means my first miserable stretch of the day.  98* yesterday and i'm not talking the nick lachay band!  who were awesome by the way.  and today looks to be just a little cooler.

here's the breakdown for how miserable it is:  i sweat standing still in the shade!

i sweat easily as it is.  i prefer it to be colder.  i wear shorts to work year round.  even in the snow.  i don't need anything to make my sweat arrive more quickly.  and yet when the mercury gets over 90 i can't even go outside without hating myself and cursing all of existence.

the plus side of oregon heat?  no humidity.  it's not like massachusetts or minnesota where you stick to everything and taking a shower is pointless because there is so much moisture in the air you can't even get dry.  when i was there, i couldn't even tell if i was sweating or if it was just the humidity.  the suck.  total suck.

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if this is the consequence of climate change, i vow to the world to take up al gore's tarnished megaphone and give that powerpoint presentation until my voice gives out. 

i proclaim to the world that if that's what it takes to get everyone to pay attention to their carbon footprint, i will make millions off a book and dvd and nobel prize. i will. so help me God.