12.22.2003

beautiful words, no?

well, i'll be blogging live from hibbing, mn for the next few days. tis the season to visit the fam. my journey here wasn't too bad. but not too good either. here's a running diary of what went on:

1:45PM--julian gives me a ride to the train station.
2:15PM--the train leaves. i read the fourth book in the dune series
3:45PM--arrive in back bay 10 minutes late. no biggie, so i try to hop on the orange line. the til i try to go through doesn't work. i'm forced to buy a second token. no dice. i go complain again to the clerk, and he lets me through no problem.
3:47PM walk to the platform to catch the subway.
3:50PM switch to the blue line to go the airport
3:51PM train rolls up while i walk to platform
3:58PM get off blue line
3:59PM shuttle to airport arrives. i'm like, this is awesome. i haven't had to wait at all. i'm going to get to the terminal and coast through everything . it's going to be fantastic. yea for reger.

4:05PM i'm staring at the line for northwest airlines e-ticket checkin. my flight leaves at 5:51. i'm screwed.
5:16PM i'm finally to the front of the line. there are still people checking in for the detriot flight that leaves in oh, 10 minutes.
5:20PM my bag is checked, i ask for quickest way to my gate. i say thankee and go where i'm supposed to go.

5:21PM i see the largest line at a security checkpoint i have ever seen.
5:22PM i wonder if i can get 2 free flights and a hotel room out of missing my flight.
5:35PM i want a hotel that serves breakfast.
5:40PM the guy behind who is going to memphis on a 6:30 flight starts yelling at the northwest guy. the northwest guy ignores him and tells the crowd, "this is out of our hands now, you're waiting on the federal government. and since they took over, this place is slower than the post office." that gets some chuckles, but not from memphis. he's kind bitchy.
5:45PM i start the security check in. everyone off with the shoes. put all metal objects in the basket to be scanned.

5:46PM the guy in front of me sets off the metal detector. "i told you to put all metal objects in the basket."
"you never told me to put my watch in there."
"i said put all metal objects in the basket."
"you never told me to put my watch in the basket."
"if you can't tell your watch is metal, we have bigger problems than you not hearing me"
5:52PM my plane hasn't left yet, cuz i'm the second person in the minneapolis line, and there are like 50 people behind me. i don't set off the metal detector, i put everything in the basket.

5:53PM my bag comes through and the guy holds it up. "who's stuff is this?"
"mine" i'm pretty sure i didn't pack my ki of coke, so i should be good.
"i just have to check some things. please don't reach for your stuff at anytime and answer all my questions"
"cool, man" and all i was thinking was, "if i miss my flight because of the federal government, how many free flights can i get from this?"
the guy pulls through all my stuff, takes some stuff out to get "rescanned." and talks to the guy using the xray machine. the searching guy holds up my keys and the xray guy nods. the search guy comes back over and says, " we didn't know what your keychain was. it's pretty cool." it's a guinness bottle opener. that's right. i impressed a federal agent.

6:04 on the plane.
6:21 still on the runway
6:34 takeoff

7:30 northwest is doing this new thing where you buy your inflight meal instead of just getting one. so for $5 i bought the low end meal. it was a turkey and ham sandwich (pretty damn good one, too), raisins, goldfish crackers, potato chips and oreos. and the beverage cart gave me the entire can. i really hate it when they just give you the little cup and not the whole can. but anyway, it was the best $5 i could have spent on a flight. i was totally satisfied by the meal. good job northwest!

one thing that bothered me, though, was some people's inability to listen. they had 2 higher priced entrees. a chicken sandwich and a orange beef salad. when they got to our section, they had run out of the chicken sandwich. the flight attendant said this to EVERYONE "we have the beef salad and the snack box left. we are out of the chicken." i counted at least 4 people that then went through this exchange:
"well, i'll have the chicken then."
"sorry, all we have is the beef salad or the snack box"
"no chicken?"
"no, just the salad or the snack box."
"is the snack box chicken?"
"no, the menu we handed out says it's a turkey and ham sandwich."
"no chicken?"
"no"
"i'll have the beef salad."

9:30 we begin our final approach. captain comes on and says everyone making the san fransico connection, the planes leaves at 9:22 from gate something something. i look at my watch and think. "that's the suck. it's 9:30"
then the captain says that the local time was 8:30PM.
central time!
where primetime starts at 7 and the news is on at 10.

10:15 flight to duluth leaves on time. yippee!

10:45 we begin decent into duluth, and my ears plug up and start hurting. i try yawning, swallowing, chewing stuff. little is working to pop my ears. and on the occasion they do pop, it's accompanied by stabbing pains. intense stabbing pain.
this brings my brain back to a thought i had a few days ago. what if you ear drums were to burst on a flight? you're just sitting there, the pain keeps ramping up, til it gets to a point where it just blows and you can't hear anything then, except probably a pretty good ringing. you put your hands to your ears and feel the ooze of blood coming out of your ear canal. you start screaming for the flight attendant or a doctor. you can't hear yourself scream. your ears are broken. and i was thinking if that could be worth millions or just hundreds of thousands from the airlines?

10:59 see the parents in the terminal. i'm home for the holidays.

monday, 3:30PM my ears finally pop and i can hear normally.

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