12.19.2003

day 1 of my epic journey started with a bit of toast and jam

in my unextensive travels i have found that the best places to get gyros are the places that pronounce them year-o and not jy-ro.

a gyro is a wonderful sandwich consisting of few ingredients.

pita bread
onions
tomatoes
lettuce
lamb meat
cucumber sauce

all ingredients are required, none may be subsituted or omitted or added without changing the very essence of the sandwich and removing its gyro status--reducing it to merely a pita.

there a few key points to a good year and they deal with respective ingredients

first, the pita must be warm and soft. hard and dry? feed pigeons and buy new pitas.

the onions should be checked to make sure they are not too strong. you want ones with kick, but no need to make my eyes water.

tomatoes should be how i like a woman's breast to be--fresh and firm.

lettuce should be crisp and cold.

lamb meat is key. you can buy your own gyro meat that is already presliced and cooked, you just need to heat it up. but that meat sucks. you need to find a place that is roasting the lamb right there. it should be a vertical roaster spinning the lamb slowly to ensure proper, even cooking. and your meat should be sliced fresh off the roast, straight onto the pita. it's magical.

the sauce is an overlooked ingredient sometimes, but it is considered to the soul of the gyro. creamy and cool, no lumps or grains. smooth and delicious is how all sauce should be. you like-ah the sauce? everybody like-ah the sauce.

that said, the best place to get a gyro is in hibbing during the summertime. there are these greeks that own one of those trailers that they haul around and make gyros for the good people of northern minnesota. and nothing beats a gyro and mt dew on a hot summer day at one of the many wonderful community events going on all over the iron range.

and remember, folks, a good year-o is hard to find. if you want a jy-ro, i can talk to one of my engineer friends.

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